Confessions of a Grouchy Mom

   A little over a decade ago, I decided to write a book. It was titled. The Dog Ate the Cuisenaire Rods..the not so glamorous side of homeschooling.  I spent about 2 years on this book..daily. And then? The boys wiped the entire thing out of my computer playing with magnets! I decided to let it go. After all, I had no agent, no contract..just a story. Or so I thought.

  Well..after looking over the past few posts, I realize that I appear to have mildly glamorized life as a stay-home mom. Oops. Never my intention. Especially, after my behavior in the past week.

It all started innocently enough. I watched a movie about a women's college. It reminded me of my fairly elitist childhood.

  Then? Cody and I went shopping. He bought a suit. Some shoes, got a haircut..and we went to the Gap.He had a gift card from Christmas!
 Big Mistake. I saw lots of cool clothes. (and I am not usually a shopping kinda gal)..and the looping in my head began.

 I looked at what I was wearing.(sigh) Hand me down jeans. Hand me down t-shirt with spit-up. Scuffed up shoes. A baby.I saw cool clothes that one day I could wear. Maybe..like when I work again.

I let myself imagine what it would be like to wear them.

I thought about the women in the hair salon where Cody was getting his hair done.(sigh again) They were pulled together. I was frazzled..and in desperate need of a haircut. I was carrying a baby and didn't have the funds anyway.

I know what I want. Really.

You know..a Diane Keaton sort- of cut..only with different color..like not gray. I'm not ready for gray.

Also? My bifocals..not cool. I can use the ones I have when I read.
But I want just plain old glasses..ones that are not so bulky (a requirement with bifocals) with transitions. 

So..essentially, I began to reinvent myself..on the outside. Except? It's not feasible..ya' know..financially.

Why? Because I am not a paycheck player anymore!

I tell Cody in the car that I am applying as a substitute in some private schools in SA (I am, actually) Cody..with his new clothes and haircut looks at me in exasperation and says I THOUGHT you were staying home! (Cody has his own unique wiring..so inconsistencies?..a bit uncomfortable)

I am, I assure him. I'm getting you and your brother through high-school. I haven't forgotten about this little guy. (Levi screaming from car-seat) However..I don't know how long your Dad's health is going to hold out (true statement) and I want to keep some options open..just in case.and besides ( I say with a grin) I want cool clothes too.

Cody rolls his eyes..after all..moms are not cool. THAT is a given.

So..you're going to spend your money on gas and clothes?

Before you decide this is one super spoiled kid..just know, our kids almost NEVER ask for anything. Which is why, when they do? We want to provide the best we can. They have also (my kids) had to play second string to Club kids for a long time. Time spent with them is l-o-n-g overdue.


I tell him to quit being so dramatic. Be kind. I tell him, Kindness is a good thing.

..and over the next week I begin to slowly get more and  more frustrated.

Relying on someone else for an income is always a humbling experience.

Big B is a generous guy. We share his income.  Most of it goes to support our kids...you know..things like food, and co-pays. 

Fast forward to 4th of July weekend. We are at a party.  It was lots of fun. We have my nephews with us.

Oh..you had a baby. says anonymous guest. I didn't know you were pregnant. 

I laugh. It's my nephew. He's just hangin' with us for now. 

Are you sure? You LOOK like you just had a baby?

How do you respond to that?
I mean..you know..you're wearing that just had a baby look.


I change the subject..and remember how at least 4 nurses at the hospital walked into the room where my sister, the baby and myself were sleeping..and said..So..you're grandma?

I mean come on..my sister is only 3 years younger than me! Good grief..I  think, I really want that haircut! (because at this time in my looping..haircut is the solution for everything..)

..and then yesterday? The boys leave to play ultimate frisbee.

Big B calls. He is on his way home..no side jobs, nothing.

I think..AHA..we could have dinner..just the two of us.

I make fish (at his request) because I haven't cooked anything he likes in a long time..and I want to. I look forward to having a dinner with just us. ..and you got it . He doesn't come home. He stopped by a friend's garage, so eventually he returns...but by then? I'm done.

I decide to feel sorry for myself. I focus on the fact that I don't even have shampoo I like. Just the guys shampoo.

I whine about shampoo. Big B takes me to the store to buy shampoo.

Then? I get really angry that I have to ask him to pay for my shampoo!

I have convinced myself that the fact we both allow ourselves a certain amount of money for the week is irrelevant. I just happened to spend mine on..you got it..one of the boys..and it was something they needed (not wanted) Meaning? I had no money for things like shampoo.

I am not being nice. I am being extremely unkind..and I can't seem to stop!

I hate it when that happens.

The boys return home.

Austen looks pale..beginning of migraine pale. I am starved. Cody wouldn't let me eat..he kept telling me to suck it up.

I send Austen to the fish dinner since it hadn't been eaten and all.

I start to fuss at Cody. Who responds. I DID NOT! I don't feel good...my head hurts!" 

They banter back and forth...and I blow up. Telling them to quit behaving like this. I'm sick of it, etc. I fuss at Cody for being unkind. I fuss at Austen for not listening to Cody.

In exasperation I look at Big B and say Do something! Talk to them..they can't keep behaving this way!"


Big B..just nods his head and watches t.v.

I start to remember a job add I saw for a private girls highschool in SA. I am so tempted to apply.

  and then I do the math? Tutors for the boys, gas, clothes (yes..I would need clothes), someone to cook food for Austen if we aren't here to do so..and I know it is not an option.

I continue my pity party. While Big B goes to sleep! 

 I wonder..how he can do that.

Austen withdraws to his room.

Cody takes a shower.

I begin to feel guilty.

I spend some time with Cody. It is not that I don't care he doesn't feel well. It's not that his brother is a "favored one".

It's that Austen is simply more medically fragile

Cody and I spend a lot of time discussing the effects of swelling in the brain stem, scarring of a frontal lobe, thalesemia, hypoglycemia..chronic pulmonary disorder, etc. Stuff  I haven't taken the time to really explain to Cody.

The importance of monitoring our diets for Austen. Not because we don't care about what the rest of the house wants..but because when Austen starts to get sick..it really scares me. I realize, I am simply waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Poor Cody..still fighting a headache through all the medical info overload. But asking genuine questions..I give him an aspirin..and bite my tongue and refrain from saying Here's an aspirin..see how lucky you are. Your brother can't take one. I refrain, because that? Would be tacky..and I have been tacky enough already.

I remember that anger is a secondary emotion. Austen looks and feels (overall) healthier now than he ever has..other than his weekly migraines. I am really angry at circumstances, not my family. Not feeling broke.

I kiss Cody on the head and tell him goodnight.


This morning over coffee, Big B and I talk. I ask him to bear with me..because I am not transitioning as gracefully as I would like.

We review our options. We contemplate again..whether he should stay home and I work..and then I panic. Why? Because I WANT to be the one here...because being the sole bread winner is a scary thing..and because I don't want to miss what is going on around here..even when we are all not-so-nice.

..and that is yet, another, AHA moment.

Life in My Living Room.

In response to a fairly recent "Reflections on my 42nd Birthday" post. I have been asked (in person) numerous times..

So What Next?

In response, I would like to introduce you to Life in my Living Room.


These random pics represent my living room..at almost any given time.

Any hour..honest to god..any hour, day or night.

We have a house of  teens and an infant.The kids.(.the short, the medium and the monstrously tall ones) keep similar sleeping/wake patterns,opinions, and sometimes temperaments.

I often state that I am hanging with my family because I can...but it is more than that.

I am home  because I want the luxury of time to nurture these relationships.

I believe it is important to be home so the teens can ignore me..and yes, being available to be both ignored and observed..does happen.

I have a friend named Jack.

Jack who dares me into parish ministry, and various other adventures. Jack who plays guitar with me. Jack told me recently,that he heard that children know everything their parents say/do within an 80 mile radius..even if they seem oblivous. Really. It's true...


....and sometimes?
 I believe Jack.








I want to grab those "green light moments" for both ridiculous and serious conversations.

So for a while?

Maybe a long while.(I hope)

 I am simply enjoying my Living Room Life.

June in Pics.

What can I say? We are summering!

We haphazardly follow the World Cup and watch Oprah and Big Bang Theory. These are our current t.v. addictions. We swim a lot. Garden. Cook. The boys and Big B spend a fair amount of time on framing the roof to our garage. The boys play soccer and hit eachother with foam swords...still with the foam swords. ..and we hang with Levi.

  Here is Levi when he is sleeping. We are starting to treasure when he is sleeping.

 Here is Levi hanging with the teens. This is just before they try on sunglasses and try to explain to him how resisters work. Then the teens decide that maybe, just maybe..they should show him how to unclench his fist first..Hmm

This is Levi oohing to Eeyore about the ridiculousness of his family.

This is Austen on his last day at work.He has decided to take the summer off to just  hang out.
Notice the scenery and clothing. We (as in Big B, Cody, Austen and I) are still hangin' in Bandera in our summer/swim gear (most of the time)

This is Brian and Angee. They are abandoning the Texas Hills for a little while to visit Angee's extended family in Singapore. Here they are pretending to be the Hulk??? ..I think.

It appears they are enjoying themselves. We are hoping for a slide-show of sorts (yes..we are a slide-show kinda family) when they get back.

All for this week. Next week? Tubing Tales..and the Art of Zen Tubing...or something of that nature.

Weekly Menu:
Monday: Aunt Sandy's Super Tacos (veggie, and carnivorous)
Tuesday: lasagna,spinach salad, mini bread-sticks
Wednesday: Eggplant Parmesan and fruit salad
Thursday: Minestrone and bruschetta
Friday: Spaghetti, french bread, salad
Saturday: Party at Pavliska's??? Will probably bring gazpacho or tabbouleh
Sunday: Make your own shishkabobs (to throw on the grill) for 4th of July!

A Father's Day Challenge

My dad in 6 words challenge:

My Dad. Romantic idealist, scholar, visionary.

Happy Father's Day. I love you!


Weekly Menu:
Saturday:  pot roast, pasta salad (cucumber, avacado,tomato),fruit
Sunday: home-made chicken noodle soup, grilled eggplant and cheese sandwiches
Monday: quiche, salad, fruit
Tuesday:  fish and vegetable tempura with rice
Wednesday: baked zucchini, tomato and eggplant, baked potatoes with toppings of choice
Thursday: chalupas, corn on the cob
Friday: make your own pizzas

Reflections on my 42nd Birthday

w “Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery,but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present.” MasterOogway, Kung Fu Panda :)

One of the boys from the Singapore Odyssey of the Mind team posted this as his facebook status earlier this week...and it has stuck with me. It seemed appropriate, today, on the morning of my 42nd birthday.

It is a birthday that has surprised me in contentment. I once had a friend in college that said she thought we would all be really content in our 40's...because in our 40's we would know who we were..and weren't. We would have arrived.

..and she is correct. True..I am still discerning the next portion of my life. I am still living pay-check to pay-check. Not too cool at this age..but I also am acutely aware that on a global scale..I am extremely blessed. Also?According to Oprah 70something % of Americans are currently living pay-check to pay-check. So..how validating is that?

I know that for me, turning 42 is a.Thank Goodness..I am finally, truthfully, the age I should be. Not 10 feeling 20. Not 20 feeling 30..but simply 42..and feeling 42. It's a shoe fits sort-of thing.

..and so? I spend this morning blogging (because blogging is a ridiculous and fun outlet I have given myself these days), listening to Gregorian Chants (because it is my birthday and no one will dare protest today), drinking reheated coffee..and rotating laundry. Still with the laundry.

 I am spending this morning reflecting on my journey so far..and speculating on where it will go. It is said that all great leaders must stay true to their own experience and convictions. I believe this is true.

My experience as a missionary kid, a foster sibling of 4, the child of local political and social activists, a teen musician who traveled in the Eastern Block (when there was one),a women's college alumnae, a catholic university alumnae and a young,unprepared wife and mom with  three children who were high needs for various medical and developmental reasons, leaves me with an equally unparalleled and super-paralleled view of the world.

Sort of like the Apostle Paul..you can find common ground with many..but whole picture with few.

..and that is okay.

Because? Everyone has their own, unique experiences to bring the world story.

As I ramble I realize that I am now able to see the hand of God, Universe..whatever you want to call it, throughout my life story..and the story is still unfinished.

I have spent the past several years, trying to discern my calling, so to speak. I have really struggled with whether I should serve within or without the traditions of organized religion. Specifically in the position of a parish minister.

I have just about concluded, that this is not the direction for me..and this decision  is a place for both grief (for me to let go of an ideal I have had since childhood) and a relief..for I am then free to serve with my true spiritual gifts. It has been said (by the church powers that be) that my strongest gifts lie in prophecy, vision, mission and hospitality. The rest (including pastoral care) are farther down the list. Truth be told, there is something like 52, 72, 102 ..I don't remember..math is not one of my gifts. But there are a LOT of gifts considered "gifts of the spirit."..so it seems like I should pay attention to the few I have.

You know the saying. Spend 80% of your time on what you are good at. 20% on what you are not.

I have been struggling, since I've started this parish ministry educational journey, on how these gifts best fit within the context of the church..or do they? Because..truth is, we live in an inter-faith/non-faith world..and I enjoy that world as much as I enjoy life within the church..and because I do not believe you can separate life within from life without the church.

Upon further prayer, meditation, conversation and discernment, I realize that the part of me that is holding onto the security of the church is the part that wants the comfort of a community that I dearly love...but that also feels the need to transform from within. Transform what?Well..it is my feminist voice talking. The clincher? When I studied Church History. You know..when you read The Great Books it is a given that women are either seen as trophies or predators..but they at least exist. As I studied Church History...the women existed in the Bible..and then? Poof...not until the 21st century. This is eerie...and I realized that this is not where I need to be. Because transforming from within is not a reason to go into ministry. Sort-of misses the point of bringing people closer in their relationship with Christ.

I spend more time in reflection..and then I have a dream....

 I have a dream in which my younger self meets my older self. Only in the dream, I do not realize this woman is my older self. She is heavier than I am. She can wear all those cool big women clothes that I always admire and can never find in my size..she has hair that is not flying everywhere..all the way around she is just pulled together. This woman runs a refugee transitions center..and is mentoring me (for some unknown reason) as I babysit lots of children (go figure).

Then? We start working together on a particular fund-raiser for women from some specific country that I don't remember now. The whole time I am grateful for this woman who is mentoring me along..and thinking Wow..I want to be like her.

Then? I wake up..and realize ..I AM her. (grin)

So..I will finish my parish minstry program and be content as a lay minister, because it is a program I enjoy and a community I enjoy. I hope to serve the church in other capacities. I am happy filling in when pastors are out of town, hoping to serve on global vision committee type of role..eventually. Finally I want to stay involved with the 4th day community. (Kairos, Via de Cristo) This is very selfish on my part. These weekends take a lot of time to prepare for..but they keep me grounded. And it is amazing to see that "aha" moment in others. A glimmer of what grace can be.

 The world is still wide open.

I feel very pulled to open a women's refugee and immigration transition center in San Antonio. Why? Because there isn't one..and THIS is something that truly places me with my God given gifts...it stays true with my experiences and my convictions. It is an inter-faith world of which I am an embracing participant.

And  for now..I am hanging with my teenage boys at home because I can. I will return part-time for some graduate work in ESL and non-profit leadership while I hang.

..and today? I will listen to Gregorian Chants, transport kids from the Club to VBS and back, pick up my nephews from San Antonio

..and celebrate my birthday over mint-chocolate-chip ice cream with la familia  tonight.

Bandera Banditos?

  Several years ago, my uncle dubbed us The Bandera Banditos.

  My kids were running around like banshees...swinging off of rope swings, playing with firecrackers..and all were involved with karate and hockey. You know..the aggressive, contact, sports...in theory anyway. It appeared to me my kids were spending a lot of time dancing with weapons and skating. Regardless, my uncle got the biggest kick out of referring to them as the Bandera Banditos and grinning about their Huck Finn sort-of existence.

  Over the years, the name sort-of stuck. We sign presents from The Bandera Banditos. We send sympathy cards and thankyou notes from The Bandera Banditos. Yes..I see the irony here..but you get the point.

 I had forgotten about this until recently when I was getting my inspection sticker renewed for my car (a 6 passenger Mercury van). As I was getting ready to pay for the inspection, the "inspector" grins and says, "So..you homeschool."  It was not a question. It was simply a fact..like It's raining outside...and then he immediately follows it with So how many kids do you have?

 It caught me off guard..we had just been speaking about flooding in New Braunfels, TX.
Uh..yeah..and I have a handful of children.I replied. Do you?..homeschool? (as in how do you know..I know this is a small town..but ???)

The mechanic/inspector grins and with a knowing nod replies..Oh..I can just tell. 
Did my van talk to you? (I whisper)
The man laughs..no..you can just tell.

We continued making small talk..he told me where he grew up, etc...As we talked..I started wondering...How does he know?  (I mean I had NO CHILDREN) with me.  Maybe it was how I was dressed?  I checked..blue-jeans, green tye-dye t-shirt with a design, flip-flops..okay..just like about 12 other Bandera-area mom's...most of whom do NOT homeschool. So dress code, was not the clue.

I say good-bye and return to the van. I see a car-seat..a quilt, two books..one on building robots and one on pre-cal/trig. I also see an insulated, empty, canvas grocery bag. Waiting for use. AHA! Then?! I spy my (ahem) cassette tapes (it's an OLD VAN) with Beatles and songs from Top Gun. Oops. My car DID talk to him. We reeked the stereo-type of homeschoolers.

I began wondering what it would be like to be more Banderaish..whatever that means..more banditoish maybe? Because we are a town that shamelessly, often even proudly, breaks rules and does our own thing..

..and then I remembered my Uncle and The Bandera Banditos...and I had to laugh.

The image that is conjured from this phrase is so far from our present reality..it is crazy. Yes..the boys are still rivering, and creating neighborhood "wars", and blowing things up. Why? Because we live in Hill Country, Texas with over 180acres of a neighborhood that they can roam in.

But Bandito #1: Is currently in Singapore for a month, meeting his girl-friend's extended family before returning to work in a bio-medical engineering lab. Why? Because the number one bandito is a family guy who enjoys working in a lab.

Bandito #2: Is making crepes for breakfast on a fairly regular basis..along with gardening (true..tobacco is one of the things he is gardening...uhmm..the legal kind), texting his girlfriend (she is often busy doing musical things) and holding baby Levi.

Banditos' #3 and #4 (the Banditos include cousins..by the way): They are reading animate, dressing like knights and drinking hot tea with lemon in the evenings before bed. They do, however, add a Bandito touch by saying.."Excuse me Aunt Nicole/Mom..another round please."

Bandito #5: Well..let's face it...number 5 is going to have to live-up to the reputations (or lack there-of) of the rest of his family. For now? He grins, and smiles, and wants to be held..and gets a lot of hiccups.

So there it is, the Bandera Banditos un-banditified...

It is a fun name, though.

Homeschooling Transcripts

Ahh..the inevitable "but what about their transcripts"  question has returned.

Every few years, one of the boys needs a transcript for some program, course, job or school.

We pull our previously homemade transcripts from our computer and update to the best of our ability.

I do not feel comfortable giving our children grades..so I don't. Only one university has ever complained..and they laughed and said, "Just make them up." So I did.

The boys and I discuss life goals as they become young teens..and then try to make sure they meet the requirements for various programs that they are interested in. This has served us well.

This morning Cody announced he wanted to attend a local c.c. this Fall and attend a specific BIG PUBLIC UNIVERSITY in the Fall of 2011..or at least try. I went to pull up transcript, only to discover, we did not have it! ACK.

Cody and I spent the a.m. recreating the past 4 years to the best of our ability.

As I was doing this, it reminded me how panicked I became (and still do occasionally) when I first needed to create a transcript for Brian. I wanted to be honest. I wanted him to get into a really cool and competitive summer engineering program.  I didn't know what would be okay. I read books. I called friends. I looked at sample homeschooling transcripts from other families. I called more friends.

Finally? I picked up the phone and (gasp) asked the program what they needed! They were very helpful...and after that, each time became easier. I learned to call and ask.

Honesty is a big thing with me. The boys really do have a lot of control of their own learning..but if I put something on a transcript..than they better have done it..or promise(and follow up) to do it with me in the next x number of weeks..like crash course studying (one of the true beauties of learning at your own pace) This has served us well, so far.

So..I thought I would post what the boys transcripts look like so far. It is just a sample..for any of those out there going through the home-school, transcript panic.

Please note..due to layout of blogger I can't split this by Fall and Spring..so I am just putting the Fall. Please bring  your imaginations along..(and no..I would NEVER ask an official administrator to use their imagination ..though I'm sure they do).and  please know the other half of our page shows Spring..with same info or makes any changes that may have occurred.
 --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Cody  xyz
Date of Birth: xyz
soc.sec. number
                                              Bates Family Home School

High School Credits from Friday School (2007-2008) :  Spanish 1  A
                           
                                                         Grade 9
Fall                                                                                     
Global Systems Science                                                                 
Intro. to Composition                                                                     
Business Math                                                                             
Alg. 1/2                                                                                         
World History (focus on Genocide studies)                                    
American Government                                                                         
Friday School:                                                     
Intermediate Art     A                                                                      
Spanish 2              A-                                                                       

Extra Curricular:
Jr. Staff  Boys and Girls Club (computer upkeep and repair, mentoring,
                            city-wide paper  recycling program)
HeartCore for Darfur (awareness raising of genocide Darfur, Sudan)
Odyssey of the Mind: Boys and Girls Club - State Finalist
                                San Antonio HERO - World Finalist
 private guitar lessons
 soccer: Bandera and FEAST(Family Educators Alliance South Texas):stopper, midfield, sweeper - JV and Varsity

Summer 2008:
Student Ambassador People to People (England, France, Italy)
Junior Staff Boys and Girls Club (lifeguard and mentoring, recreational soccer coach)
private tutoring: Algebra 1/Geometry     A
Computer Programming (JAVA)      A

                                                                 Grade 10

Fall                                                                                           
Ancient World Lit                                                                                 
Ancient World History                                                                          
Biology with Lab                                                                                   
Latin 1                                                                                                 
Intro to Computer Animation                                                                 
Friday School:
Algebra 2         A                                                                                    
Advanced Art    A

Extra Curricular:
Boys and Girls Club Junior Staff (computer upkeep and repair, recreational soccer,teen recycling program, mentoring)
Heart Core for Darfur,  San Antonio Interfaith Darfur Coallition,
STAND (student anti-genocide coalition)
Odyssey of the Mind: BGCA - winner Renatra Fusca award - World Finalist
Soccer: Bandera-midfield, FEAST-goalie/Varsity

Summer 2009: 
Soccer (Jongo-Bonito, rec. league, sweeper)
 Lifeguard (Flying L Guest Ranch)
San Antonio Darfur Coallition (refugee family support), STAND
                                               
                                                                 Grade 11

Fall                                                                                                      
Intro to the Great Books 1                                                                  
U. S. History                                                                                        
Friday School:
Advanced Math (trig and pre-cal)   A                                                     
Honors Chemistry        A                                                                      
Financial Peace            A                                                                      
Penn Foster Automotive Repair:                                                       
Learning Strategies     93                                                       
Introduction To Automotive Technology  100                       
Automotive Parts And Operation    100                               
Automotive Engine Types   92                                         
Practical Exer For Instr Pk 1 Auto Technician  87

Extra Curricular:
San Antonio Interfaith Darfur Coalition-refugee family support, STAND
Soccer : FEAST -goalie/ Varsity
Odyssey of the Mind- State Finalist
self-employed: auto and transmission repair

Summer 2010:
self-employed: auto and transmission repair
 Penn Foster Automotive Repair
            
                                       Grade 12 (still to be determined..tentative)
-will involve Calculus, Physics, Economics, Speech and either business classes or running a business/businesses.

Extra Curricular:
Soccer- FEAST -Varsity, position TBA
 (other is still unknown)
                         
*Friday School is a homeschooling co-operative in San Antonio with over 200 families. The grades listed above are received from this co-operative. from a private tutor or from a correspondence course. Our family does not generally give grades to our children. If you have any questions, please feel free to call Nicole xyz at (xyz) 3xx-3xxx.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Austen xyz
Date of Birth: xyz
soc.sec. number
                                                           Bates Family Home School
High School Credits from Riverside Homeschool Initiative 2008/09:
Biology      A                         
Ancient World Lit.   A    
Ancient World Hist.  B          

Summer 2009:
Summer Staff Boys and Girls Club:(lifeguard, assist with programs)
 ELCA National Youth Gathering - New Orleans, LA
                 
                                                            Grade 9

Fall                                                                                              
20th Century World History                                                               
20th Century World Lit.                                                                    
*Riverside Homeschool Initiative                                     
Algebra   B                                                                                
Integrated Physics and Chemistry   A                                  
Intro. to Architecture   A                                                                
Culinary Arts            A                                                                   
Intermediate Art      A                                                                    

Extra Curricular:
Jr. Staff  Boys and Girls Club (preparing snacks, mentoring, city-wide recycling program)
Odyssey of the Mind :Boys and Girls Club- Bandera -State Finalist
                                San Antonio HERO -World Finalist                
Riverside Players-community theater: Set Construction for Loving Affection
Lifeguard at Flying L Water Park                                              

Summer 2010:
lifeguard at Flying L.Water-Park
                            
                                                               Grade 10 (to be determined)
more Alg./geometry, and is requesting art, culinary studies (more), fashion design and more IPC

*Riverside Homeschool Initiative is a Waldorf Inspired Democratic Homeschool Cooperative. The grades listed above are received from this co-operative. Our family does not generally give grades to our children. If you have any questions, please feel free to call Nicole xyz at (xyz ) 3xx-3xxx.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There you have it..a very long post, involving two partial and incomplete transcripts What can I say?

We are all still Leaders in Progress...

Musings On Oil Spill

When the last tree has died, the last river has been poisoned, the last fish has been caught, will we realize we can't eat money. ~ Cree Proverb

I saw this quote while reading a series of responses to an article on NPR. The reporter had visited various gas stations in NYC asking people if they felt any connection between their purchasing of gas and the effects of BP oil spill.
  
Most interviewed were outraged at BP, but not willing to take responsibility for their  own buying power in the equation.


I read this article from NPR shortly after reading another post from sardinemama on our carbon footprints. (in a nutshell).


I started looking at our lifestyle, and really having to admit that I, too, play a role in some of our eco-disasters. I play a role in all of my day-to-day decisions.


Good grief, we just took a 3,000+ mile trip to Michigan and back! Talk about gas consumption...and would I do it again? I would have to say, yes...because I want that opportunity for my children. This, however, makes me a conscious player in the oil consumption problem. 

So which is worse..to make mistakes out of ignorance? Or as a conscious choice?

Hmm..maybe I could take a train?


While reflecting on all of this global ecological awareness stuff...I stumbled onto this site...noimpactman.typepad.com

I encourage all readers to browse. I have signed my family (and myself) up for the week-long challenge this summer (date to be announced). Anyone care to join us in this venture?


In the meantime..we are summering!

Frisbee, tubing, gardening, building a garage, just hanging out..and that?!...has been almost  oil purchase free.

Odyssey of the Mind 2010 World Finals

An Odyssey Mini-Series

 Intro

snippets of six tell a tale.

e.e. cummings turned mini series

 a journey to world finals exposed.

The trip

Texas

    unending travel on roads well known

Arkansas

   crop-planes, trees, legends of rock marathon

Illilnois

  missippi river overflows banks, natives unique

Indiana

  natives impressively kind, flat tire, pizza

Michigan

 michigan state, international dorm, temporary home

The event

we meet with teams from afar

japan, russia, mexico, cuba and more

some search for friends from before

friends from poland, friends from hong kong.

opening ceremonies "let the games begin"!

listen and learn, meet and greet

 repair, pin trade, prepare, compete, compete

Buddy teams

san antonio, texas meets anglo-chinese school, singapore.

play games, exchange gifts, converse, larp

much curiosity on times teams meet.

texas meets two days a week


sometimes one, we start in september


singapore meets every day before school


the season for odyssey starts february


texas must place regionals, then state


singapore competes directly at nationals; places


texas meets afternoons at coaches house


singapore meets three a.m.at school!

much curiosity on school and homeschool

discussion on tests, or lack thereof


discuss life goals, or lack thereof




live action role play (foam sticks)

time to get back to work

Competition 

problem solutions are secret no more

Anglo-Chinese School, Singpore Div.III

      confucius guards the pearly gates (teeth) 

San Antonio H.E.R.O. (home educators resource organization) Texas, Div. III

    sit and spin vehicle travels donutopia

Results

Anglo-Chinese School, Singapore

    performance-amazing. style-amazing. spontaneous-amazing.

    placed fourth in the world! (grin)     

S.A.H.E.R.O., Texas Div.III

  vehicle-awesome, style-okay, spontaneous-oops?

   did not place fourth at worlds!

Coming to a close

 sore throats, closing ceremonies, party, sleep.

 

Our return home

the original six states, reversed. 

movies, music while moms melt down.

sun sets over welcomed, familiar roads.

Our coach

 to caring, patient, witty, kind sardinemama

  thanks. our journey IS our destination!

All Characters Welcome

Levi was born Tuesday May 18th at 11:39 a.m. Our miracle boy is healthy and full of character. Mom is recovering just fine.

These are the things that Levi has explained to Aunt Nicole in the past 5 days. He says I can spread the word...

1. I love my mom. I try to follow her voice around the room.

 2. If my lip is sucked in..I'm playing possum. You only think I'm asleep.

3. If my lip is pouty looking, I really am asleep.

4. I like..and often demand..to be held. Kisses..those are nice too. If I make a fish-face and turn my cheek (see pic above) I expect kisses. If  I do not receive them, I will peek out at you with one eye and try again.

5.Lots of people LOVE me;)

6. I do not like to be read anything by Eudora Welty. It's probably genetic..my brother and cousins don't like it either.

7. I LOVE to be sang songs from Johnny Cash. It's a good thing Aunt Nicole just learned the words to "I got Stripes" at Kairos last weekend. In a crunch, I Got Stripes...will make me grin


What can I say? We have a lot of characters in our family...so like the adds say...

All Characters Welcome.

My Bags Are Packed...

and I'm SO not ready to go...

Actually..my bags are not even packed.

I have spent the past 2 weeks enjoying my time at home.

Big B and I have enjoyed having coffee on the deck. We watch the hummingbirds. He talks to the deer. You know, really charming things like Come here, venison, I have some bread for you... and he always throws out food..and the deer always come while he sweetly calls them names of meals he enjoys eating.

I have learned to drive fence-posts into the ground. I've finished planting the last of the basil in our organic garden. I am learning to guard things. In particular I have been guarding my zucchini from one lone baby chick..who keeps proudly finding ways through my awesome fence work, AND I've been guarding all of our chickens from one big, scary and beautiful hawk.

My method is simple. I watch the hawk, in awe, from a distance. It really is beautiful. When it enters the sky above our yard, I scream and yell and wave my hands while running. I am secretly hoping  that  it is not a human-eating hawk, because it sure looks like one to me!

I decide to enlist some help. I cannot, after all, spend all my time chasing this hawk. We pull out our fake owl and place him on our fence-post. The owl is our head guard, I only do occasional shift work for him (the owl) now.

When I am not screaming like a banshee in our yard,. I am generally, overcooking or under cooking or burning meals. We are still trying to stick to a Mediteranean (for us meaning primarily Italian..and some Greek) Diet. I am so grateful when the boys help cook. Things go much smoother when we work together and they remind me stuff is in the oven or on the stove.

This morning? I am playing on this blog, listening to Norah Jones, rotating laundry..and dreading the stack of dishes that has (yet again) appeared during the night.  It is slowly dawning on me that I am leaving tomorrow for the Kairos Prison Weekend in Hondo.

I have nothing ready. Still need to make a few dozen cookies, bake a cake, prepare some sort-of veggie pot-luck dish and write a bunch of letters. However..since I have no clean clothes..I will be rotating laundry all day.

 Finally? We were given strict orders from Austen's neurologist to stay on Mediteranean Diet, only with limited pasta...and a strict restriction on microwavable foods, anything with MSG, processed meats, etc.

Meaning? Austen and I need to spend some time today figuring out some simple meals he can cook while I am out of town with our veggies and organic red meats, fish and poultry. I guess if worse comes to worse, he can be a "fruit-a-tarian" while I am out of town.

So, today is the last day before I leave for this extended weekend. I am truly looking forward to it. However, Kairos is the first of three "bag-packing" events in a row.

I return on Sunday. On Monday..Austen and I head to SA. I hope to be with my sister during Levi's delivery on Tuesday. Please continue to keep them both in prayer.

Austen has some cardiology follow-ups. (To rule out things like ugh tumors and strokes. Hopefully, the key word here being rule out) So we plan to spend most of the week staying with my parents and hanging around the medical center.

Then? Barring no medical catastrophes (knocking on wood here), we head to Michigan for the Odyssey of the Mind Competition. Approximately 10 days of travel and competition viewing with this fun and motley crew of homeschooled teens and their moms. I am really looking forward to this.

I will return home..about two or three times during the next few weeks, to cook more food, do more laundry, tell Big B  things like hello, I love you..and see ya' later!  Because Big B?? He will continue to stay here and work and work and work. Big B does this so that the rest of us?

We can pack our bags.

Thanks to my Mom...

Yesterday was the reunion of the Mills College strike of 1990  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d7BGrWJXKu0

I have spent a lot of time in the past month, reconnecting with old Mills friends, reminiscing about how much this short span of my life helped form the person I am today...and remembering how I was not such an easy person to get along with at that time.

  I had dropped out of Mills, returned home, returned back to the Bay Area..only to discover that I was (gasp) pregnant with my oldest son. I was supposed to go to the SF Music Conservatory, but (ahem) was part of the process that blocked my own Mills transcripts from being sent!. This was my crash course in civil disobedience. My Mills peers fed me vitamin C..for the baby.. during the early strike days, and through it all I maintained my quest to be the true Renaissance Woman. Half-way through the strike I returned to Texas and began forming my own family. I continued to write letters to Trustees and watch the results on t.v.  This was before we all had internet..and I couldn't afford too many long-distance calls!

  My poor mom, did not know if I was coming or going! Yet, she stood beside me in whatever I chose to do. Now..she did not stand by silently. She was happy to give me her opinions along the way. But I always knew that she was standing by me..even if I didn't know how to stand on my own.

  As I was reflecting on all of this, it occurred to me, that my mother has shaped me in more ways than I can ever imagine. Even  more than I like to give Mills credit for. My years at Mills are without a doubt, some of the  most influential in my adult life.. but my mom..she shaped my beliefs, my values..my sense of compassion.

So for her, I would like to give this list of thanks.

Thank you.   for teaching me to be bold  (and to be bold politely).
You taught me to never fear new places,languages, people or things. It is an invaluable gift.


Thank you   for  teaching me the art of conversation..and for passing this on to your grandchildren.  Day after day, week after week and year after year of conversation. You taught me more through conversation alone,  than you can ever imagine.




Thank you  for teaching me I can always ask for directions.

Thank you  for teaching me the value of long-term commitment.

Thank you  for teaching me to stay in motion, when things get tough.

Thank you  for showing by example..that I can work when I want (or feel I  need) and stay home when I want (or feel I need) That I am truly free to engage in living.

Thank you    for supporting me when I am downright obnoxious, and trusting that "this, too, shall pass".

Thank you    for teaching me that "No one is better than me, and I am better than no one."

This morning I saw some photos of current Mills students celebrating the reunion of the Strike. It brought me to tears, to think that another 20  years of women had the luxury of a women's education. An education, by the way, whose goal is NOT anti-men. Rather, it is an education that allows for a small window of opportunity  to really focus on women. A chance for an almost unparalleled view of the world.

Very rarely do you get to say in your life..I was part of something bigger than myself....and here is the benefit of that. The Mills Strike is noted in history as a successful strike.
   

       We had a revolution.

       There was childcare,

        there was consensus,

       we sent thank you notes,

      we cleaned up after ourselves,

       and we won.

        We won!

I would not have been part of this experience (nor carried the knowledge of this experience into anything I do now). Nor would my own children be budding social-activists, (Pictured are Cody, Austen and friends with Darfur Coalliton at MLK March) if my mom had not been the woman she was and is.

Thanks Mom.

Hope you have a great Mother's Day. Your welcome to come make raviolis with us. (Yvonne is coming up). We're having a ravioli day.

Weekly Menu:

Monday: Irish stew, variety of fruits, dinner rolls, salad

Tuesday: Home-made pizza, stuffed clams, grapes

Wednesday: breakfast jacks, salad

Thursday: spaghetti, bread-sticks, green beans

Friday: zucchini bake, wild rice, sliced tomatoes and carrots

Saturday: corn-bread, beans and salad

Sunday: home-made spinach raviolis. 

John 13:34-45 short homily for nursing home chapel

 John 13:34-35: I give you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.

Grace and Peace to you..from God the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.


Love.  What a powerful concept!

Love..has been known to change the course of history, make heroes out of ordinary people. Love can also be a source of tension and doubt. Love has been, and will continue to be, a source of wonderment for centuries past and centuries to come.

The fact is, love is one of the most difficult..and simple.. concepts we can encounter.

In this afternoon's Gospel, Jesus says, "I give you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another."


So how does God love us? What has he done for you? What has he done for me?

In the past couple of months, I have been spending some time preparing for a prison ministry. We are asked to spend a few days in prison..and simply, listen, love, listen love. We are asked to demonstrate God's grace, to the best of our human abilities.

One of the things that is done in preparation for this prison weekend, is to decorate place-mats for a special dinner. These place-mats are decorated by children. As I worked with groups of children in decorating these place-mats, the children and I spend  a lot of time discussing mistakes. Small mistakes, medium mistakes..and BIG mistakes.

Because I am working with young children..I usually confess to the time I STOLE Easter Candy from a good friend of mine..and then (ahem) BLAMED IT ON THE EASTER BUNNY.

2 really uncool things..I stole from a friend..I passed the blame onto the Easter Bunny. Yet..despite my small brush with crime and my willingness to blame my acts on an innocent bystander, God still loves me...and this type of unconditional love, is what we are asked to share with others.

This discussion on unconditional love..when talking to the younger elementary folks, usually leads to a discussion on..nose picking. Specifically, does God still love you when you pick your nose? We unanimously agree, that Yes, God still loves us. Then, one day, a young girl states. "But i'ts dirty! My mama says nose picking makes you dirty. Does God love me when I'm dirty?!"

..and the answer is Yes. God loves us even when we are dirty.

What has Jesus done for us?

I would like to quote Pastor Nadia from a sermon she gave at House of All Saints and Sinners regarding this question.

He's met us with dirty feet. God was made into man and walked among us--walked among the despised and wretched- the rich and haughty, and did so-does so- when we are unclean. The love of God comes to us, not when God is good and sure we believe all the right 
doctrine, but here, now, when our feet are dirty. He kneels before us and says "Here's what I'm about."

This is all we need to know. God pouring out God's self and saying- Don't be ashamed. I love you..just as you are.


Now..you do the same!

God's Peace.

Paycheck Player No More

I am typing this after only being unemployed for 36 hours.

Truth is..I don't usually work on Fridays and Saturdays anyway...so I have been surprised at the strange freedom I feel.

It is strange not having the Club as the backdrop of all my thoughts. I did not realize  how much of my time is spent on planning. You know..while I'm driving, while I'm cooking,while I'm somewhere with my kids... Always contemplating in the back of my head how to problem solve with various kids/families in overcoming some of life's basic hurdles. Also time-consuming is just basic planning in things like Be Great, Young Inventors, Backyard Ballistics, Odyssey of the Mind, Power Hour, etc. It is freeing to just be where I am..and not planning anything. It has been a long time.

Please don't misconstrue this. My family and I have been deeply enriched by our years at the Club

I was overwhelmed by the generosity of the Club Staff, Board and Kids when I left. They surprised me with numerous cards, hugs, candy (Snickers..my freezer is FULL),hugs, a collage of pics from the past 6 years, hugs ..more cards and a skit put on by some of the older OM kids.

The skit was complete with lots of humor on my grouchiness without coffee, my demanding of shower-taking and my ability to get lost everywhere.Made me laugh. Made me cry. More hugging.

..and then I came home.

So what is different? What is the same?

 A lot is the same. Same is the mountains of laundry. The bills to pay. The books to read. The dishes to wash. The garden to care for. The chickens. The family..etc. I am still looking forward to being Levi's aunt. We will still be without an air-conditioner. I am still discouraged by Arizona's passing of anti-immigration laws..and relieved Texas has not followed suit. Yet wondering, as we "secure" borders when our nation will remember that (ahem) The Berlin Wall Fell!..and why we think we are different.  I am still bemused by the Texas Board of Educations latest decision to rewrite history to fit a specific world-view..and wondering if they have LOST THEIR MINDS??? I am still not very good at keeping my opinions to myself....and last, but not least, the genocide in Darfur continues.

I will have no more pay-checks. That will be different.

I had time to visit with Austen's pottery teacher and to even play with the potterywheel. That was a nice different.


I could f-i-n-a-l-l-y say YES to Shakespeare at the Park with the boys this summer.

I had the luxury of hanging around Kerrville with NO AGENDA..while waiting for Cody to take his SAT Math 2.

Tonight I will volunteer at the Relay for Life..because I want to.

I am enjoying planning our road-trip to Michigan with the SAHERO OM team..where I am going as a parent..and nothing more. True..it will be an insane road-trip..with 4 homeschool moms and 7 teens in one van..(or maybe 2?) But I am really looking forward to it.


I am enjoying reading (or re-reading) and discussing the Ender Series with Austen because I have the time to do so.

and most of all????

I am enjoying wearing my own clothes and sandals!