An Idea Forms

Every Friday Miss Applesauce Pants, Blue Monkey and Black Rat go fishing.

This is the day when the rest of the disbanded (see Blue Monkey Tells a Tale post) diaper band are gone. And without the diaper band, Miss Applesauce Pants, Blue Monkey and Black Rat can do things that are hard to do when the whole band is together.

 Which is how it came to be, that Fridays were designated Pizza making, Fishing and Painting days.  This past Friday started as all the others.

First Blue Monkey, Black Rat and Miss Applesauce Pants made pizza dough while Blue Monkey played on the piano between dough kneading and rising.

Every since Black Rat quit the band. Blue Monkey has been playing piano..(and sighing), playing violin (and sighing), playing the drums (and sighing.) Finally, on this particular Friday,  Black Rat caved.

All right already, she says as she tosses her pizza dough in the air.  What if we reunite and we are just a rhythm band. Because really..uhm..how do I say this? Black Rat sprinkles some more flour on the dough and then looks directly at Blue Monkey. Well, Blue Monkey, we are NOT VERY GOOD.  

Really? says Blue Monkey(.he is not remotely concerned that we may not sound any good) 

Yes. sighs Black Rat. For now it is her turn to sigh.

Perfect! says Blue Monkey.

Before he can get too excited Black Rat gives him her offer.

We can be a rhythm band, but we cannot practice all the time. Maybe just once a day. Because really? I am an artist. Not a musician. YOU are the musician.

This greatly pleases Blue Monkey. But Blue Monkeys sometimes only hears what he wants. And I will still be the fiddle player. You guys will be the rhythm band and I will be the fiddle player. Because I am a GREAT violin player. 

Black Rat gives Miss Applesauce Pants the see what I have to work with look. Then says. Fine.

But Black Rat is a bit concerned. For you see. The violin is TOO BIG for Blue Monkey. So he can only play open strings because his fingers can't reach the finger board. But Black Rat does not want to disappoint Blue Monkey. So instead she says..

Yeah. But I think you should learn the rhythm band part also. You know, until we can make some money and get you a violin that fits.  And we should probably make some money for some rhythm instruments too. Because right now? We have one drum.

But the kitchen..., states Blue Monkey with a gesture to the pots and pans.

One drum, restates Black Rat.

Blue Monkey knows that pots and pans can make amazing music. But maybe Black Rat is right. Maybe she IS an artist and not a musician. It really doesn't matter, because Blue Monkey cares greatly about Black Rat and would never be in a band without her.

After some debate, Blue Monkey agrees with Black Rat and suggests that they contemplate business plans as they fish.  
 
So Miss Applesauce Pants, Black Rat and Blue Monkey gather their fishing poles to return to Blue Monkey's declared feud on the Chinese Fish.

Now feuding with a fish takes strategy. Part of the strategy for this war has been experimenting with which bait is best. First Blue Monkey tried corn. Corn was how the feud began. Next was hot-dogs. Black Monkey thought hot-dogs would do the trick. But Blue Monkey was SO BUSY that week..that all the fish were scared away. Miss Applesauce agreed to bring worms.

But first all the worms had to be named. And you can't feed worms with names to fish.

No! Not that one! Blue Monkey would cry. That is wormy. 

Not that one either! would join Black Rat. That is princess.

Black Rat likes princesses. Despite the fact that Black Rat chooses names like Black Rat and loves what she refers to as scary, horror, art. Black Rat likes to wear cute little matching outfits with jewel covered flip-flops. She also loves princesses and unicorns. Black Rat is spending some time  this year discovering who she is.

And once Black Rat starts talking about princesses, well, there is no way we can put a hook in a princess. Blue Monkey quickly realizes that this could become a problem.

Here take this one. He tells Miss Applesauce Pants. It's Blackworm the Pirate. And then the calamity begins.

As Blue Monkey is renaming the worms, his pole starts to come apart. Miss Applesauce Pants! he cries.

Miss Applesauce pants tries to help. She really does. But then she slides down the boulder and catches a tree trunk with her foot to keep from falling into the fishing hole.

SSHH!! hiss Black Rat and Blue Monkey in unison.

Miss Applesauce pants tries to put the pole back together, when she feels a pull. No way. It is the fish. Miss Applesauce Pants tugs on the line as hard as she can. Blue Monkey holds onto Miss Applesauce Pants. Black Rat holds onto Blue Monkey.

The fish gets away with the worm. This goes on for 3 more worms. Miss Applesauce Pants, Black Rat and Blue Monkey say goodbye to Wild Worm Hickock, Buffalo Worm and Queen Elizaworm. 

It is agreed that worms are the way to go. But once the fish has finished feasting, the river becomes very quiet again.

I'm hungry, says Blue Monkey. Blue Monkey is always hungry. Miss Applesauce Pants and Black Rat tell him to wait 10 more minutes. And during this 10 minutes Blue Monkey begins to think.

Hey. Where did these worms come from?

The store. Says Miss Applesauce Pants.

You mean you bought them?

Well yes. says Miss Applesauce Pants. People collect and sell worms to the ice-house. I buy them from the ice house. You know..people have worm farms and everything. 

Miss Applesauce launches off on a boring list of things worms can be used for.

Blue Monkey does not hear.

You mean we could sell worms? asks Blue Monkey. Black Rat looks on with interest.

Oh dear, thinks Miss Applesauce Pants.  She remembers harvesting worms with her own  3 GROWN BOYS, when they were young.

Uhmm..yes? she responds meekly.

And so Miss Applesauce Pants, Blue Monkey and Black Rat return home to eat their pizza and create a worm farm. Because a worm farm? Will buy the instruments for the band!

Can You Hear A Walnut?

It has been a bit busy around here.

For starters Brian had his 21st birthday!!! And in true Brian form..he chose to come home and hang with his family. I mean..how many 21 year olds..come hang out at Ranch Rugrat to play Chinese Checkers for their 21st birthdays? He was thrilled..I tell you...absolutely graciously thrilled.  Gotta love the boy!

and now Brian is starting his graduate school journey...with rumours  that his summer job has been extended through the Fall.

Here are Brian, Cody and Austen on his birthday. They all know this will be the last time they are all together for a while. And? I think Cody and Austen were glad Brian came home!

...and here is Cody with Little Man C..having a staring contest.

I wanted to add this, since Cody has left this little home of ours for HIS OWN PLACE!!!!

Cody moved into his dorm last weekend. Here he is with Dad, Austen and Grandpa a few seconds after walking into his new home away from home. He is thrilled I had him pose..you can tell by the puffed out cheeks.

 We spent most of the morning getting the kid moved in. I was worried about things like..you know..clothes and cleaning supplies. But Cody? He had his priorities.

...and here is Big B "testing" Cody's new bed. All this moving his sons out of the house? Exhausting.

.....We return home.  As Brian and Cody settle in for a year of study.

And then Austen is left with us! Austen has been doing his own thing for quite a while now. So this year is no different. We decided to post-pone community college for a semester.

Austen is going to focus on earning some money for summer travel, studying French, LOTS OF MATH and...capoeira.  Here is Austen at Capoeira.

And as the TALL Boys learn their own life lessons..I am learning a few things from the creatures (see monkey, wolf and tiny people below) here at Rancho Rugrat.

  
Lessons Learned

1.  The importance of a sense of humor.

2. I make a lousy Chewbacca. In order to make the proper Chewbacca noise..one must gather the proper amount of spit in the back of one's throat. I do not gather my spit right.

3. I remind most children 11 and under of their grandma. When? I wonder..did THIS happen???

4. The  continued importance of a sense of humor.

5. When feeding deer left-over lunch from the deck..it is important to throw food away from the big circular thing with water in the yard. Otherwise? One may be retrieving burritoes from the pool.

6. If you spend an afternoon explaining to an 11 year old that saying Eeww gross..everytime a baby walks near her..a baby will then throw up on you..and you will say Eeww Gross!

7. When a baby is really sick..everyone will pull together and even try to make the baby chicken noodle soup.
                                                   
8. Most children like to hear stories, to tell stories..and to snuggle on the couch and look at books. A Lot. Box-Car Children books are interesting for a wide range of personalities in the "little taller people" crowd.

9. Even if there is a heat-advisory..it important to get outside..even if only for 10 minutes..so that 6 year old boys can be ninjas in the woods. If not, they will be ninjas in the house. Ninjas in the house can cause much destruction.

And finally the most important lesson of all..............
              
10. How to listen to a walnut....

When 6 year old ninja says...Listen..Can you hear the walnut? and shakes a walnut next to your ear.  If you sit still and listen quietly, you will..indeed... hear the walnut.

And taking the time to listen to a walnut...is what it's all about. Even when your BIG  TALL BOYS are leaving for college.

Blue Monkey Tells a Tale

  Alas it is true.

After 2 short weeks of a dynamic existence. Miss Applesauce Pants and the Exploding Diaper Band has (ahem) disbanded.

It appears that Black Rat feels her gifts are in other areas. She is choosing to spend most of her time focusing on scary art. Blue Monkey does not feel we can continue without her. So..for now..The Band is busy with other things.

  As I stated in the last post..one of the things Miss Applesauce Pants and the Exploding Diaper Band does regularly is go for Nature Walks. Now..these are not your ordinary Nature Walks. Why? Because in addition to discovering all sorts of natural treasures we are on a quest. A quest to find a chupacabra...and that is the underlying theme of ALL our nature walks.

And so it came to be that one morning this past week..after a very long and unsuccessful chupacabra hunt, Blue Monkey pulled out an apple to share with the entire band..and said we could have a seat. He then told us a fishing tale.

You see..it started like this, Blue Monkey tells the diaper band (because they are always a good audience). Last Friday..when you guys were not here..Miss Applesauce Pants, Black Rat and I went fishing.

We fished for a v-e-r-y...l-o-n-g...t-i-m-e.  Black Rat got some ant bites and caught a few sticks. We were not having much luck..when Black Rat found it..The GOLDEN HOOK.  So I took off my man-made hook (a piece of wire) and put on THE GOLDEN HOOK...and do you know what?

I got a bite...a pull..a HUGE..oh no. Miss Applesauce Pants..help me..I cried..Miss Applesauce Pants held onto the back of my shirt while I started being pulled into the water..and then it happened. My line snapped.

Miss Applesauce Pants says sometimes that happens. And then I saw it..a Big Chinese Fish came out from under the rock.  Miss Applesauce Pants says she thinks it's a catfish. She is wrong. Do you know how I know? This one has Big Whiskers..so it is a Chinese Fish. I think people in China really like to eat them. I've never tried it, though. 

Black Rat and I decided to declare war on the Chinese Fish. After all..it stole THE GOLDEN HOOK.  We tried and tried again..but the Chinese Fish kept sending out it's warriors..the alligator gar . Two of them..actually..but finally it sent the ants. The ants invaded..and we had to retreat.

But just wait. Because next Friday? We are going back. And this time? 

We are gonna...

Catch. That. Fish.

Miss Applesauce Pants and the Exploding Diaper Band

 Rugrat Ranch has started earlier than expected.

We are letting the kids dribble in slowly..week by week. This week we started with our Elementary Aged crew. One incredibly enthusiastic and energetic 6 year old boy along with his more timid, but imaginative 11 year old sister.  And, of course, Bug.

We start with a basic rhythm...not much different than what we have been doing all summer. We decide to spend some time creating art-journals and playing lots of Chinese Checkers and Dominoes to get to know eachother better.

..and part of our rhythm is Nature Walks..and so it begins.
.
I think we need woodland names..says 6 year old boy. I am blue monkey

We all agree that is the perfect name for him.

What about you?? Who are you?  Blue Monkey asks his sister. She is exasperated. She has been busy following deer tracks and looking for the perfect hiking stick.  Blue Monkey keeps running over her tracks. She takes a deep breath to calm herself..and raises one eyebrow.

I think I'll be a rat..you can call me Black Rat!..and if you don't monkey yourself over there....(points to Pecan Grove) well then Bug and I are going to eradicate you.

And no..Bug is actually not going to eradicate Blue Monkey. He is in the Moby Wrap grabbing leaves from low hanging limbs and saying "I the Baby!!" and then showing off his latest spitting noise to Black Rat.

Blue Monkey is not deterred. How about Miss Nicole? What are we going to call Miss Nicole?..but then we see a turtle..and the concern for my name is quickly forgotten.

  A few days later we have house-guests. So we add Hurricane J (3) and Little Man C (8 months) to the mix. (Their parents are nearby) And then on Wednesday we add Miss A (3 years) and Mr. A (11 months) to the mix..and my! oh my!

 This is a group with some personality. Good thing, we like lots of personality.

The kids had started some spinach and bean soup. It is not finished in time for lunch. We agree to have the soup for a snack later.  I make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches with a side of applesauce.

We decide to have a picnic on the deck. Miss A, Blue Monkey and Black Rat find a "Big Kids Table".

I am politely requested to "Please sit with the babies.." "The Babies' meaning..Bug and Mr. A.

And so I do..where I supervise food throwing, and help feed applesauce into open mouths. Because Bug and Mr. A were having way too-much fun splashing the applesauce.

The kids finish lunch, wash up and head to the sand-box. We seem to be missing a plate. I decide it must be in the dishwasher already.  I grab my sandwich and have a seat..right on a plate of apple-sauce! I found the missing plate?

Nothing escapes Blue Monkey. He spies this and yells from the sandbox. That's it! Miss Nicole's woodland name is now Miss Applesauce Pants! The kids all agree. They are quite pleased with my new name..and so I become Miss Applesauce Pants.

On Thursday, we are back to just Blue Monkey, Black Rat, Bug and Me. You know, Miss Applesauce Pants. On Thursday afternoons we are "doing music".

Blue Monkey wants to play the fiddle. I teach him how to use the bow and play open strings. He learns the names of the strings and practices.

Black Rat would prefer piano Thank you very much. So we find middle C and learn the notes C-G..all over the keyboard. She practices playing with a basic hand position.

Well how about you Miss Applesauce? (Blue Monkey has decided to spare me the "pants" part today). Aren't you joining our band? I mean really..don't you know how to play anything?

I just happen to have a new, awesome, guitar. A completely unexpected gift from one of the Kairos musicians.

I play The Nursery Rhyme Song..with Blue Monkey playing open strings..and Black Rat playing her new learned notes in various random order as she mumbles the names of the keys under her breath.


We sound GREAT! says Blue Monkey.

Black Rat agrees we have promise..but we have to practice a lot...and what are the babies going to do?  Blue Monkey and Black Rat mull over this and agree that the babies can be our percussion section and the dancers (for Bug and Mr. A? LIKE TO DANCE)

But we need a name...proclaim Blue Monkey and Black Rat in unison..After a quick Jinx game..they debate weather we should be called "The Sharks" or "The Resident (from Resident Evil) Princess"

I excuse myself to change Bug's diaper.

That's IT!!! Exclaims Blue Monkey. ( and yes..I am beginning to get leary of Blue Monkey's exclamations) We are....(drumroll please)..


Black Rat bangs on the toy drum...

 Miss Applesauce Pants and the Exploding Diaper Band!!!

Black Rat can't quit laughing. It's perfect..she laughs between breaths.

Bug claps his hand.

It is unanimous.

I am now a proud member of Miss Applesauce Pants and the Exploding Diaper Band.

(Tune in next time for Miss Applesauce Pants and the Exploding Diaper Band Go Fishing)

Bubble Invaders...

Cody and his girlfriend Ellie had there Ungraduation/Getting the Heck Outta' Here  party this past Friday night. Neither one of them wanted to participate in any sort-of formal graduation. They didn't want any big party.

You have to do something!!!  I kept telling them last May. I was determined. Something to acknowledge that they were moving on. Something to say..Hey..we are really proud of you. Something..to mark this transition in their lives.

Finally one evening Ellie looks at me from the couch..as I ask again..Isn't there something you guys want to do???  Cody continues to stare at me with that well worn my mother is an alien look. Ellie sighs. She knows this is inevitable. Her mother and I both need some closure.

Can't we just go out to eat or something?


So it is done. Ellie's mom (over at sardines in a can) and I settle on a date in August. Sardine mama creates Ungraduation/getting the heck out of here  invites.. and last Friday. We say goodbye and hangout at The Cove.

The Cove is in San Antonio. We are not. I get the pleasure of squishing Cody and crew in my car for probably the last time. "The Crew" being what I like to refer to as "the bubble invaders". It will be a long time before these guys are together again. I soak it for all it is worth. I take pictures along the way.

Cody is a boy who is extremely loyal to his friends..but he can go days, weeks even...just by himself. He starts a project and hyper-focuses. Often he will tell us how cost INefficient something is..and then we say..yes Cody..but the human factor is there. We will make the trip not for the groceries..but to see x, y or z person. Because they would LIKE to see you.   


Hence the need for the self-proclaimed Bubble Invaders. Now please don't get me wrong. Cody actually enjoys The Human Factor. It is just occasionally necessary for our Bubble Invaders to help him make the transition.

Was it necessary for these guys to bubble invade Cody for his send-off. They seemed to think so.

 First we start with Austen.  Austen has cut his summer at Girl Scout camp a day early, to return for Cody's send off. I don't think he has quite registered he is back for good, yet. 

Here we pick up Mason. Mason has just driven from the coast to meet us in a grocery store parking lot just in time for Cody's sendoff.

We pick up Justin. Hey.. says Justin..I need to go to the bank. Once at the bank Oh..says Cody..I'll be back.  He runs inside.

Justin has a bloody nose and chooses to have pictures taken with a kleenex sticking out of his nose. I might blog this.. I warn him. Justin smiles his Justin smile and says. Okay. Come on Cody..you gotta pose with us..we might not get to squish with you like this again. (Justin has squished with us many times.)

Cody is bemused. He jumps in the front seat. Come on guys..says Justin..lets get in Cody's bubble...and hence the bubble invading begins.

The boys pile around Cody. I love these boys..and I wonder...will Cody have anyone to Invade the Bubble (as the boys like to say) when he is gone?

I am grateful for the friends that invade Cody's bubble. Cody has other things to tell them.

After a few errands and stops. One of the stops is at the post-office where Cody receives his first book for school. Plato's Republic. Perfect.

I make one last stop at Hobby Lobby to pick up modeling clay and paint brushes for Rancho Rugrat. The Bubble Invaders seem to be doing their job. Here they hang out and pose at a table for sale..while waiting for me to finish.

Cody chooses to hide behind the flowers...

We arrive at the Cove.

We have an enjoyable evening..even if it is 104 on the patio area we reserved..once the sun goes down..it is pleasant, even. Several families come to show their support of Cody and Ellie.

 I am reminded, once again, of how lucky we are to have this sort of support system. I wonder again..who will Cody let into his bubble? Will he be lucky enough to have bubble invaders in his new home?

I sure hope so. 

3 Weeks Already?..

So much for keeping up with the blog!  Life has been rolling along here at shaggyboystown.

When I first started this blog, I called it shaggyboys because my then, younger boys..had such long, shaggy, in their eyes, hair. The boys have grown. They no longer aspire to look like Jedi Knights and Pokemon characters. One even wears business casual to work with his short hair and everything. My..that happened fast!

I also started this blog after the death of a dear friend. My friend Leticia lived life fully. She never did anything extravagant. She could blend into a crowd fairly well. But she had a laugh that was contagious, a strong sense of compassion for all who came into her world, and loved her family with such ferocity...it was humbling. Leticia knew her life would be short..and she treasured every moment of it. Good and Bad. She was (and still is) well loved. She enjoyed living.

So when I am asked what I blog about, I have no real answer. Other than...you know..just day-to-day life. Because it is this day-to-day stuff that makes us who we are. Not the high points..or the low points. Just the small stuff.

What is some of the living that has filled our days?

First I would like you to meet my Uncle Yates and Aunt Nancy. They are part of my North Carolina family. My Aunt and Uncle came to visit. It was nice to see them. They hung out a lot at the River Walk, visited some of the small Hill Country towns..and spent an afternoon with us.

But let me set the tone as to just how generous this visit was. We had hoped that they could come out for a day..do some tubing, play in the river...hang out in town, and we would end with a Cajun Crab Boil. Yup. That was the plan. But then we had this drought thing happen. So river? Hmm..we have a puddle? Then of course is that heat we keep talking about.

Last week Eric (Mr. Eric is a friend who is currently living in our tree-house and helping me get our house in order for day-care) and I were sitting on the deck. We were like hey..do you feel that breeze? Did it cool off? It feels kinda nice...and then we looked at the thermostat.

 What can I say? We have acclimated?

So no River Play..extreme heat...and wouldn't you know it? The town was almost empty. Almost unheard of on a weekend in The Cowboy Capital of the World.  But regardless, here are Yates and Nancy in front of the General Store.   Why? Because they wanted to prove to a friend they were in Bandera!

My Uncle took some other pictures while they were here. Since he is a much better photographer than me..thought I would share.

 

Horses in town, cooling off in the shade

 

A few longhorns looking for anything green

We return home to just hang out. Here are Uncle Yates and Levi.

We enjoy, yet another, Cajun Crab Boil. What can I say? We like Cajun food around here.

During the past few weeks..we also celebrate my sister's "pinning" . She has completed her nursing program. Now she studies for (drum roll please) THE BIG TEST....

It is time to prepare for the next Kairos weekend at one of the local prisons. I spend time helping prepare for team-buildings, etc.

We continue to pick away at what needs to be done to legalise what my friend Jack refers to as Rancho Rugrat.

The co-op parents and I finalise curriculum plans for the motley highschool crew. We agree on TRISMS revolutionary studies along with an eclectic mix of stuff for Marine Biology and Stack the Deck writing program

We squeeze in a pretty invasive (but pleasantly successful so far) eye surgery for another family member. I continue to pick away at this afghan for Cody. Have I mentioned before I do not know how to crochet??? Well...7 months into it and I am no better.

Similar to my friend Leticia who triggered my desire to blog. I have a dear friend who has recently chosen to admit herself into hospice care. I first  met Pat at my Women and Spirituality..turned Book Club..that sometimes forgets to read..Club. Our women and spirituality.. turned book club..that sometimes forgets to read club meet by Pat's bed in the hospital. If she is too tired we meet in the waiting room. As usual, we laugh, we ponder, we cry.

We help finalise funeral plans. I meet with the local funeral home to help make arrangements for Pat's funeral. Pat is very clear about how she wants to leave this earth..and we are trying our best to honor her wishes.

In the midst of all, our family celebrates Big B's birthday with ice-cream cake!

 

 This evening Big B and I are going out for our 21st anniversary. Our anniversary is actually not until Sunday..but today? We can enjoy ourselves and not feel like we are ignoring work that needs to be done. Quite sad..don't you think? 

We are doing our annual thing. Spending all our restaurant gift-cards in one evening..and ending with appetisers at Chilli's. 

We bought ourselves some used chain-link fence..complete with all the hardware. We are spending our anniversary weekend putting up fence posts! Now that? That is day-to-day living.

Of Tots and Teens...

We have spent the past couple of weeks slowly revamping the house to prepare for a small handful of tots (think infant, toddler tots) in the Fall. As we create "tot space" we are simultaneously keeping space aside for the teens in our tiny little homeschool co-op.

It is crazy, really. This need to provide separate spaces...knowing full well..that tots and teens do, and will, mingle.

We are off to a slow start on the revamping process. Our back deck needed a lot of work. But it is done!!!! We now have one large tot-safe back deck complete with 3 locking gates. One of these gates will open into...deck #2. Deck #2..which will lead to the pool (also with another gate). Deck #2 is the official teen deck. It is not built yet.

But this separation of tots and teens is not limited to the deck. Dining? Oh..how about the dining room table for the teens, the kitchen for the tots? Inside space? Tots can hang in the living room, kitchen and morning room. Teens? The den and dining room.  Bathrooms? Tots in the hall bathroom. Teens in our master bathroom. Outdoor space? Tots in the enclosed part of the yard (still needs to be enclosed, by the way) Teens to the open part of the yard, pool or tree-house.

It seems so unnatural to create space in our home this way. Yet I understand the legalities of why...and I know full well..that on Monday mornings (when co-op meets) Tots and teens together will be in our kitchen/dining room to grab muffins, play with eachother and live life as it should be. Even if only for a brief moment before the craziness of the day kicks in.

But hey..both the little people and the big people do have official spaces to call their own now. Cody and Levi both seem to think this is a good thing.But for a homeschooling mom that often resisted a separate space for the kids learning to happen, this is a pretty big step.

In theory anyway, while the teens are editing eachothers essays in the dining room? The tots can play outside on the deck. While the teens discuss revolutions in the den, the tots can parallel play in the living room.

But all this separation nonsense aside, they are too much alike, these tots and teens. I mean let's face it. While tots (or tot as the case may be) pretends the flyswatter is a vacum cleaner? (we have an unused fly-swatter ..I promise) A teen vacums. While the tot pretends to cook a teen actually cooks. While a tot decorates himself with a marker, the teens decorate eachother with the same marker.

And then of course is food. Toddlers and teens actually have similar diets. Fruit, muffins, oatmeal, popsicles, cheese, etc. But diet and behaviour are  just the surface similarities.

It's the inside stuff that really intrigues me. Little ones learn to share. You know, real basic share your toy kinda stuff. The teens? Are learning to share ideas, thoughts, feelings. Just as the tots are learning to communicate verbally, the teens are learning to communicate through the written word.

But most important of all is the art of  nurturing that is being absorbed. Babies are held and nurtured. Toddlers are held and nurtured. Teens are listened to and nurtured.

In imitation of this nurturing the tots practice by nurturing a doll, a stuffed bear, etc. Even if only for a few moments before running over said bear with a truck. But the teens! The teens not only nurture the tots..they hold each other in that sacred space of listening. The teens I know see themselves and others as beings worthy of their time and attention. Even if, sometimes especially if, they disagree. And that valuing of others is something we, as middle aged adults, sometimes forget how to do.

So as the tots and teens in my house spend the summer laughing, crying, playing with swords, listening to music and sleeping...sleeping....sleeping.... Big B and I continue to plug along at home remodeling.

You know..so we can all-tots, teens and adults- share a muffin together.

Still June

It is hot. Like abnormal even for South Texas hot. We have been in the triple digits for a couple of weeks now. The county (along with numerous other counties) has been declared a disaster due to drought/fire conditions.The electric company asks that we lower our power usage (turn up ac temps, etc.) during the peak hours to avoid power outages because it is TOO HOT. We are no longer swimming in the river. It is too stagnant.  We swim only early morning or in the evening. Too hot to be outside. It is still June.

So...we develop new things to do. Inside. I suppose this is what happens during snowy season in colder climates. That is the rumor anyway. Personally? I have never lived anywhere cold enough to be homebound. But home-bound for heat..we have visited a time or two before. Just not so early in the summer.

This morning Bug and I make soup and bread. Cody awakes and steps over our small toddler table. Our table surrounded by a lovely bean (from the soup) and flour (from the bread) explosion.

What he asks..is this?

Dinner. I respond. Cody looks at Bug covered in flour and dough. Don't worry...I separated his dough from the rest. Cody still looks sceptical. The bread that is rising is safe. He grunts in reply before he finishes making his breakfast.

I join Cody at the other table - the bigger people table- as Bug pushes a tricycle across the kitchen floor. I am savoring this time with Cody. He is leaving soon. August 20th, to be exact.

This past weekend Big B, Cody and I attended the parent/student orientation at Schreiner. Payment plans are finalised, health forms complete, etc. He is now officially enrolled. Cody even has his Fall classes and is now figuring out which text-books to rent, buy or e-book. All Cody has left to wait for (other than actual move-in) is his room-mate assignment. He will know in early August.

I remind myself it is still June.

You know says Cody you really should get him a walker.  

I have images of Cody at Bug's age. Pushing a big wheel..a big wheel with a bucket on back where he would stash all his treasures. Treasure mostly being rocks and cheerios. No walker.


I watch Bug (still decorated in flour) pushing the trike over a shoe. A size 13 gigantic shoe - must be Austen's. Bug stoops down and places the shoe in the bucket. The bucket  filled with beans.

I look at the young man in front of me. Cody is now washing his dishes before leaving for work.  Cody says again...walker?? 

I look at the two of them...Bug with the beans in his trike. Cody heading out the door.

No. I respond. He will be just fine. See ya' for dinner? 

Cody nods his head and says See ya' tonight.

I am grateful it is still June.

My Little Sabbatical Over?

It has been a little over a year since I quit working at the Boys and Girls Club. It was a year I had set aside to discern, breathe, discern, study, discern..rest. A sabbatical of sorts. You know.. the unpaid kind.

I had thought, when I started this little breather, that I would use this time of discernment to finish the parish ministry program and choose a path. Either running a non-profit  or pursuing parish ministry. In the end, I have done neither.

Life has a funny way of working out. We have had the addition of a few nephews and grand-nephews to our extended family. Some need occasional-or more than occasional- care.I enjoy being an aunt! I have 2 young men who are starting new educational paths..one in graduate school at a large state university, one his undergrad at a small liberal arts college. I have one older teen left at home who will soon be taking classes at a jr. college part-time while simultaneously finishing high-school at home. We have built a garage attached to our home. It always has cars being repaired. These are the obvious changes..then are the not-so-obvious.

I remembered how much I really enjoy the daily craziness of home-life. I am reluctant to give that up. I stumbled into some volunteer work for the chapel of a local prison. I LOVE this! I am not willing to give that up. Our Monday night community dining has continued to grow and be a cornerstone in our week. I am not willing to give that up.  I have had to acknowledge that I really like having a houseful of children. Young and old.

These are a few of the things I have discovered (or rediscovered) about myself in the past year. The biggest thing though..is I have discovered I am just not a cool and glamorous person. That no matter what career path or life direction I choose...I'm not going to be one of those ultra-pulled-together career women. I admire that pulled together, business-like quality in many of my friends. I really do. But it's Just. Not. Me.

I have also discovered who I am. I AM a woman who enjoys living. Who enjoys people, music, art and time for reflection. A bit of a tom-boy at times..who cares deeply for others.I have a vivid imagination, and enjoy the creative process. I love watching that aha moment when children are discovering something. I enjoy play.

So I look at who I am..and say..Now what do you do with that? What sort-of life do you carve from here..that allows you to live the life you really want? A life of family, friends, children and prison-ministry.

So after much discussion with la familia we have decided to open a registered family home care center out of our home. This is not as impulsive of a decision as it may seem. This allows us to continue all the things in life we enjoy. As well as share the craziness of home-life with others.

We chose registered care over licensed care because I do not want to get in over my head with too many children. Registered keeps us legally bound to a smaller number of children..and allows us to keep the feel of a family center vs. just a center. Keeps it more organic, so to speak. This is a decision that allows us all to continue to grow and learn and have a little fun.

That said. This is no easy feat. Because..well we have a pool in our backyard, huge barbecue set-up, chickens, a working garage, and a handful of homeschool teens expecting to be around this Fall. We must carefully remodel our indoor and outdoor living conditions to make sure we have enough square footage for everyone.

Having the homeschool co-op on Monday mornings is one of the trickier parts of this whole ordeal. We run background checks on all the homeschoolers. Luckily this is more your milk and cookie group of kids. Hmm..they probably wouldn't appreciate that. This is more your Italian ice and a biscotti group of kids. Also? A pretty easy-going group of teens.

We make sure we have separate space for them on Monday mornings. Rule #1..No shared space for groups. (sigh) So to the den (and deck and unfenced parts of our yard) for the teens! Lucky for me this group is pretty laid back.

I take some classes, have home-inspections..maybe a fire-marshal visit, etc. You know.. to allow life to go on.

It is a bit of a hassle, but it keeps every one safe and legal. I am spending much time with the child-care licensing office to make sure I am keeping things legit. And I have to say..the woman at child-care licensing is infinitely patient with me as I stumble through this set-up/ get legal process.

This whole experience is reminding me just how many rules we have here in the West for EVERYTHING!!! Just a few weeks ago Austen and I were killing time at the neurologist office when he looks at me and in a very serious voice says, You know Mom, for a free country, we sure have an awful lot of rules. Between everyone's fear of lawsuits and every law written what exactly are we free to do? What does freedom mean? Really?


Of course..this led to discussions on living in  rule-bound societies, the privileges and freedoms we do have, etc. And like I mentioned a few posts ago..since we were in the office for 5 hours we had time for a fairly lengthy discussion.

Austen's commentary has run through my mind many times in the past few weeks. But still. If following a zillion rules is what it takes to create a more natural and free-flowing home environment. Then we (ahem) learn the rules.

So for all practical purposes..my little sabbatical has come to a close. We hope to open the doors for Casa de Amigos mid-August. Only time will tell if we are so lucky!

Summer Begins (in Pics)

It is the beginning of summer. We are creating new rhythms-yet again. The boys work, work, work, and play Catan. Here are Brian, Cody and Austen (without the dreads), playing their 4th game in less than 24 hours.







This leaves me and Bug to create our own summer routine..and the kid needs his routine! He is quick to let us know if we miss something..so we start with play of course! Bug plays until I have a cup of coffee.









Then? Breakfast on the deck before we hit the sand








Which is usually followed by a nature walk, lunch and then..to the RIVER!!!

 This, of course would be followed by a much needed nap! Then?

We clean.....








and do laundry......







                                         

and SWIM AGAIN!!!!

This time we just hit the pool in the backyard. Sometimes one of the boys will join us. They are way-more-fun than Aunt Nicole. But no matter who swims in the afternoon..the afternoon swim is not complete without

one popsicle to be dripped all over the mushroom house. The awesome mushroom house which now has a huge hole busted through the side of it. Why? Because according to Levi..it seemed to need one more exit.

Then we are back to..more play!














  
And of course dinner would not be complete without  help. Here Bug is helping Uncle Brian in the kitchen.




 It is true..I usually interrupt the little man's cooking ventures when the whining sets in. Then it is time for a bath, p.j.'s and finally...

dinner with the family.

Our day, our week..and quickly turning into our summer..to be followed on the weekend with the older kids.

and more Catan!!!

Judgement Vs. Discernment

I have been dwelling on the idea of judgement quite a bit lately.

It started as I was attending a recent Kairos weekend...and later just plain old worship at the prison. I  watch these offenders, many of whom are from rival gangs, come together. They put aside their judgements and biases..and form a community together. It occurs to me, that if they can put aside these differences and celebrate eachother for who they are. Then surely, surely, I can put aside my own biases, and quit trying to lump people into some category or another. You know.."republican, conservative, religious right, etc.".

I REALLY need to stop that.

Then? We have an issue with Austen and working at Girl Scout camp.Austen is hoping to travel to Australia next summer and needs to work to help pay for the trip. He was hired to lifeguard..and needed a physical for camp.

But nothing in Austen's life is ever that easy. You know says the P.A. who is filling camp form, What does your neurologist say about you lifeguarding? Does he know?

Absolutely! responds Austen.  I've life-guarded for the past two summers...and I've been seizure free for over 3 years now.

She continues the physical and says..You are healthy!..but I just can't release you to life-guard. Have your neurologist fax a letter. It's been less than 5 years...I'm not comfortable with you lifeguarding. We need to make sure you and the girls are safe.

Austen looked stunned. Then smiled and said Well thankyou. (put out his hand to shake hers)I'm sure he will.

 So the next day we call the neurologist. You know..says the office head I think he should come in for an appointment before he goes.

So she squeezes him in on Monday. The day he is supposed to start training for the summer.We call the camp director to let her know what is happening. She tells us not to worry. Just get there as soon as we can, and call her if he doesn't get cleared.

I spend a couple days worrying about Austen. Austen and I realize that this is a liability issue. It is possible he won't be cleared. We agree to hope for the best. To pack his bags as if he is going and if he doesn't get cleared, come home, unpack and call the director.  I start wondering if going to Australia will also be a problem. I can't, after all, control other peoples fears and concerns. I have enough trouble with my own.

Austen, however, is much stronger than I give him credit for. He has already thought it through. Don't worry mom...it's not your fault. 

Not yours either kiddo. 

I've been thinking ,says Austen, If I can't work at camp..then I think I'll work at Flying L. I'm pretty sure they will re-hire me...and if I do get to go to Australia (so he too has thought about this possibility) then when I get back I'd like to start Brazillian capoeira. (in other words..if I can't I'm working on a back-up plan to enjoy my life)

And then we go to the neurologist office. I'm not going to blog about how we spent 5 hours in the waiting room. Along with all the other patients from Texas, Mexico, Arkansas, Oklahoma and Louisiana. But the truth is, when you spend a day with other families, you start to talk. Everyone in the waiting room was intrigued by Austen's circumstances. He offered hope to those who are still struggling with seizures..yet he reminded everyone of the biases that will never go away in the lives of our children. The literal scarlet S these kids will always wear. Yet he was smiling, and pleasant and funny. He made the best of the situation.

When our visit was over a woman from the waiting room gave him a thumbs up with a questioning look? As I paid our co-pay, Austen returned her question with a big grin and two thumbs up..and then? I kid you not. The waiting room cheered!  I cried.

So Austen is at camp. Hooray.

And I continue thinking about biases. Then a Buddhist-Christian yahoo group I belong to has this huge thread about judgement vs. discernment. We challenge eachother to go through ONE SINGLE DAY with no judgement. No.."look that guy is driving like an idiot." but rather discern "this is not safe."   No Ugh why does my husband ALWAYS complain?" but "oh..yeah..he complains a lot." etc.

It is a subtle but huge difference. I am discovering that going from judgement to discernment is trickier than it may first appear. But when I can do it? I feel physically lighter. Honest.

Then today, I see this thread http://rachelheldevans.com/litmus-tests on facebook. An article on litmus test for Christians.

I realize that this applies to me as well. That while I am quick to recognise biases and prejudices in others..I too..have categorized what I deem appropriate for Christian behavior..and what is not.

So, for now, I continue trying to fine tune my own understanding of judgement vs. discernment. I suspect it will be a life-long process.

Ramblings on a Saturday Morning

I have come to treasure my Saturdays. Especially? The mornings. Other than an occasional Saturday here and there..Saturday mornings are when I have the house to myself!!!

Bug is usually with my sister on Saturdays. Big B and the boys are usually at Pick-N-Pull. Pick-N-Pull being car-part Heaven.  It is a HUGE scavenge yard with every car imaginable. Inevitably, Brian and at least one of the boys spend the morning climbing and digging through cars. They find various treasures for whatever cars they are currently fixing. Whatever boy is not bonding with dad in car-part nirvana..is usually at a friends house.

Today is no different. Cody and Big B are at Pick-n-Pull. Austen is at Justin's house. And me? I am piddling around the house. There are two specific things I love to do when I have the house to myself. One is clean! (Yet another reason the rest of the crew scatters on Saturday a.m.'s..no doubt)

It always amazes me just how much chaos one family can create in a house in the span of a week. Not even a whole week, really. Because most Mondays? I have the boys clean bathrooms, vacum, etc. as we get ready for community dining. So the chaos we create is in a 5 day period. But what I like..is what I discover about my family as I clean.

For instance..I can tell you Austen and Cody's favorite clothes. Why? Because they are the piles of laundry NOT left in the living room. Everyone does their own laundry around here. (Levi not included). But somehow by about mid-afternoon on Wednesday..we have clothes hanging from hangers on the mantle of the fire-place, a  folded pile of Austen's clothes on the back of the couch. A folded pile of Cody's clothes on the back of a chair. Until I move these piles of clothes to the boys' rooms on Saturday, they remain planted in our living-room turned closet. Except of course, the favourite clothes. I find it odd that only favourite clothes are either being worn or have been placed in bedrooms..safe from Levi's reach.

Then of course are the towels and napkins. We always have a stack of napkins being placed on or near the piano because..well..we use cloth napkins and have to wash them a lot. This stack reminds me that we eat well and often. I begin to realize how lucky we are.

Next would be the stack of towels. There is always a stack of towels. Why? Because we have a river and a pool in our back-yard. Both are used frequently. Once again..I am reminded of how lucky we are.

Finally..we have the clues to what La Familia is doing for fun. For instance, this morning I spent quite a bit of time putting books back in the book-shelf. Not the books the older boys are reading..because those stay next to the boys' beds..usually. Rather, I find the trail of books left by Levi. I realise he has favourites. Not the children's books that we have in a basket on the floor for him. True there are a few books he likes to chew on..and a few he will bring to you to be read...but mostly? The book basket is for Levi to climb into. You know..so he can sit in the basket and hide his really treasured toys, specifically his Fisher Price Little People Toilet and a Winnie the Pooh that is also perfect for chewing.Oh and a cookie crumb trail. When did he eat cookies in the basket? I follow the cookie-crumb trail to the other pile of books. The pile he repeatedly pulls of the bookshelf.

What I discover by replacing the books that have been strewn and dragged down the hallway. Is that the books Levi really likes (because they are always the same ones) Levi is drawn to the Harry Potter and Eragon series..along with some art books on Monet and Degas. Well hey. At least the kid has good taste.

I find myself really enjoying this time as I pick up after the kids..to discover things I don't normally take the time to notice. Does this mean I like to clean? NO WAY, but I find myself taking a really twisted sort-of pleasure in this lately. Like I am slowly unraveling clues to the inner workings of our family  life. But mostly, I just feel lucky, I guess.

But best of all is when the house is picked up and I still know I have another hour or two to myself.Leading to my number two thing to do on Saturday mornings. I have been practising instruments during this time.

Once upon a time, I was a fairly decent violinist. If you were to compare violin playing to baseball playing, it would be safe so say I had reached the level of a minor-league player. A minor-league violinist.  For a number of reasons (primarily my OCD tendencies with music) I put this aside when our family started growing. Playing only occasionally for special events or to teach lessons.

I am a good amateur pianist..and can fake guitar pretty well. I have at one time or another played french-horn, flute, cello, trumpet and a handful of other instruments.I was never great at these instruments. There is always a certain thrill in learning what creates different tones and playing with these tones when you are learning an instrument. A space for creativity within structure. No language to interfere. Pure acoustic beauty and opportunity. A chance to enter a zen space of sorts.  But music is a gift I have not cultivated much in the past decade.

So on Saturdays I enjoy the freedom from interruptions to just play and practice music. I start with the violin. Mostly reviewing some classical music..and playing around with some Irish folk tunes and stuff.  I have slowly been getting back in shape and starting to produce some decent tones again.

Then to piano. The piano is just plain fun. Lots of old Billy Joel, Rush, Journey and some occasional Chopin and Mozart.

I skip guitar because I practice guitar during the week and on Wednesday mornings with my friend, Jack. Although I occasionally spend some time on Saturdays trying to get used to bar-chords. I'm really bad at bar-chords.  But I end with what I am worst at.

My latest musical venture has been to learn the trombone. When I try to practice during the week, everyone leaves for the garage except Levi. Levi cries. I am truly awful.

I don't know why..but I seem to be getting progressively worse every week. A few weeks ago, I could at least play 3 songs on the trombone. Last week, I couldn't even play a B flat scale. But I am determined. I will practice for a decade if I have to.I want to play until I can play the Flintstones on trombone.

Then..I will be content and leave it alone. So there it is. A ridiculous rambling about how I enjoy my Saturday mornings. And I am off.

The trombone awaits. It is my turn to catch my breath, so to speak. Even if I sound like a very sick elephant!

Life at High Speed...the Highlights!

We have been without internet for a week. I was gone for a few days before that. While we have been unplugged, life has continued at high speed.

So here are a few highlights...

 We are pleased to announce the graduations of Cody and Brian Bates. Cody has completed high-school. Brian has graduated from UTAustin. Yay for both boys. I think they are happy to be done.

Cody chose to skip any formal graduation. We will have a send off party for both Cody and Elle in August.  Brian had his graduation this past weekend. We went to the one for the school of engineering. Dinner, graduation and tea.

Pictured are Austen, Brian and Angee in the parking garage just before the ceremony.  I chose this pic for two reasons. One...I like the picture. Two..it is one of the last pictures I have of Austen with dreads.

The rumor is true. Austen has cut his dreads!  It is just too darn hot. It is May. It feels like August. Austen wanted his hair-cut before he left for his new job this summer. Which leads to our next highlight.

All three boys have been      HIRED!!!!

WooHoo.

It's official Austen is now a girl-scout. Okay. Maybe not. He is life-guarding at girl-scout camp for the summer.

Cody started working at the Boys and Girls Club last month. He just came back from a 4 day Club conference at South Padre. He is hanging with the kids outside, helping with a computer class and life-guarding for the summer.

Brian is working for ???? (I don't know the name of the company. Big B took the message and doesn't remember the important things) Brian is essentially doing technical reading/writing for the summer to help cover his tuition in the Fall. Yup..he is staying at UT for grad school. He is also volunteering part-time on a 3-D structure project that he is really excited about. Brian will be staying in Austin this summer for both jobs.

Now for the little guy. Levi Thomas Bug K is now ONE!!! He had three..yes three...birthday parties. We told him to enjoy it..he will never have that many birthday parties again. He celebrated on his actual birthday at my parents house. Again on Saturday at the center where my sister lives ...and finally we celebrated during community dining. We fixed his favorite foods. Asparagus soup and sweet potato casserole. Thank you Rhonda for the casserole. Aunt Sandy made cake. One for Levi...One for everyone else.

The past few weeks have been hectic. My family (dad, sister, nephews, son) has 5 birthdays in May. We had several graduations of family friends, a Kairos weekend and some refugee family support to attend to. All which we wanted to spend time with and enjoy. So having no internet, was kind-of a blessing in disguise.

Now are internet is back. We are plugged back in to high-speed connections..but I am the only one online.

Tonight we fixed pizzas for dinner. Brian and Angee are hanging out in San Antonio for the weekend. Cody and Elle are hanging out here. Austen is working with Big B to start fixing his car. (car-parts for his birthday..previous post) Me? I'm still trying to play the trombone, working on a paint-by-number and watching a Criminal Minds marathon. Levi is with my sister for the weekend. When he returns Bug and I will just hang-out in the sand-box, the kitchen and at the pool.

It is officially summer around here, but we are starting off nice and slow!

Happy Birthday Austen

Dear Austen,                                                                   

 Today you turn 17. As I write this you are at the ranch blowing things up. Tonight we will celebrate over Dagwood sandwiches and ice-cream cake . But even with this low-key celebration. Your life has been quite the adventure. 

Your sense of humour and spontaneity keep me young. Listening to you in the kitchen with your Floggin Molly voice as you fry eggs saying  I have the luck of the Irish, the height of the Scottish and I get my good looks from the Italians is a pleasure. You bring a certain energy to our home. An energy I deeply appreciate. Yet all the silliness aside, you are growing and maturing so fast I can barely keep up.

   You have just come back from a month in the wilderness. I recognise that the transition from life as Huck Finn to life as Tom Sawyer, has been a little trickier than you had hoped. Life in the civilised world can be tough, and many decisions about the future loom ahead.

 So on this birthday I would like to share with you a quote from Ralph Waldo Emerson:

What lies behind us

 

                                                  and what lies before us

are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.

So I offer a toast to you, a young man steeped in compassion, love and kindness within.

Love always,

                      Mom

Of Strawberries, Royalty, Rabbits and Monsters

Today is May 2nd..Meaning? Yesterday was Beltane/ May Day. There are numerous traditions that surround May Day.

When my children were involved in Waldorf..this meant finding a pole to dance around. (among other things.) Some years..I jumped over a fire. In college? (this is the REALLY fun one) We had a strawberry smorgasborg. Honest to God.

Yesterday, my Mills friends were having a field-day on face-book. Reminiscing about the strawberries. You know..strawberries with chocolate. Strawberries with whipped cream. Plain old strawberries ..or for some..(ahem Cheryl) strawberries with sour cream dipped in brown sugar. All served with champagne or tea.So I choose to join them cyberly. I decide to have a strawberry smorgasborg of our own..at home.

Normally, we do not have many strawberries around. Austen is allergic. Very allergic. But he was gone and we were all full from a very nice, late lunch.

Sunday morning our church was recognising graduates. Kim and I were presented with a small prayer book (really nice..by the way) for completing the parish ministry training program. The high-school graduates (of which Cody was one) were presented with small scholarships and a prayer book for college students.

My parents and sister had come up to help us celebrate. They treated us to a late lunch at Brick's (my favourite restaurant here in the Tx. Hills). So it seemed feasible to have an impromptu strawberry dinner. (with a little cannelloni on the side)

What can I say? We (Cody and I) thoroughly enjoyed ourselves. Bug and Big B humored us.

Why did I feel the need to have some sort-of tradition? Not a clue..I think it was my consolation prize for NOT Watching the Royal Wedding. You see, I am one of those that really wanted to watch it. And  while I have heard lots of commentary like  we won the revolution or why celebrate a monarchy, my response is simply.

Come on people,it's just plain fun.

No one is trying to undo history..but rather recognise it. Acknowledge it. I mean really, how many families do you know that can even trace their lineage back that far? It is so fairy-taleish (in both a romantic and nightmarish sort-of way).

Besides..being of Scotch-Irish decent..I have attended more than one Burns Night celebration where we start the evening off with a Hail to the President , Hail to the Queen and Hail to the Haggis (think Scottish menudo).Okay..maybe that's not the order of the Hails..but you get the drift. So why wouldn't I watch?

Because it was at 3 in the morning that's why.

I had all the best intentions. My alarm was set, I had a tea-pot ready. I was going to simply enjoy this rare occasion. But the reality was..Bug was not going to sleep that night. So at 2:30 when he snuggled up against me in a deep sleep? I knew I would not be watching the wedding.

My mother, however did see parts of it. Mostly watched many interviews. So as we baked 27 dozen cookies (yes it's Kairos cookie baking time) on Friday , she caught me up on what she had seen.

I kept thinking I would watch a recap or something. But alas, it was not meant to be. Because we were having guests to watch the Spurs play..and  it was time to bring the dreaded boy home.

 Yes Austen is finally home. It takes a while to pack all his stuff and haul it to our car. You know..my car that was full  of weapons! (think bow and arrows, knife, gun, etc.) Lovely, no?

Austen says his goodbyes to our friends at the ranch and informs me of all his rabbit sagas. A cow had stepped on his fishing pole that last week..and he was sick of fish. He did, however see a bull snake. (he did not eat it) and caught several more rabbits. He goes into details of how he has improved his rabbit skinning abilities..and then says...Oh..did you see the wedding?  ..and proceeds to tell me about it.

Wait.. I say. How did YOU see the wedding? He looks at me like I'm crazy. And slowly..very slowly. very clearly.(to make sure I understand him) he says on B.B.C.

That is NOT what I mean .

He knows..this. Austen laughs. It was my last day..I figured at this point, it didn't matter what I did. I watched it with Miss Brenda at the house..and (he whispers) I also ate carne guisada tacos. Lots of them. I figured if I was cheating..I might as well enjoy it.

  So after a month of survival and solitude..Austen treated himself to carne-guisada and the Royal Wedding.

I would say that was the end of our tale..but I still want to talk a bit about monsters.

My son (Brian-Scott) is being bullied. It is a very long story..and he is dealing with it in his own way..but it has been very hard to watch him try to finish his senior design project in such a hostile environment. I want to just jump in and fix it for him. But I realize I cannot. Brian is graduating in a few weeks. He is interviewing for jobs, preparing for graduate school..and instead of enjoying any of it..he is simply trying to get through the next 2 weeks. Telling himself over and over..if I can just get through the next x days I will never have to see y again.

I keep him in prayer and try to give him a listening ear. I help him as he tries to hit that fine balance of standing up for himself, but not letting himself turn into someone he does not want to be.

 Last night as I watched the news, I think of Brian's struggle to maintain boundaries while not selling out his character.  I think our nation is in a similar quandary.

Osama bin Laden is dead.

As my friend Ann said
 

Love, hope and peace to the victims of 9/11. May today help with the closure we as a nation are desperately seeking.....

 and in the words of Nietzsche 


He who fights monsters should take care that in the process he does not become one.