The Man Cave?!

Our nonsense has reached new heights! ..and I am kinda glad.

Here Cody and Devin hang from the balcony of their Man Cave.

Last week Cody and Austen spent the afternoon cleaning out the tree-house. They decluttered, rearranged, etc. When asked what they were up to. Cody looks me directly in the eye and grunts. We're making a man cave. (and then dares me with his eyes to make a commentary).

Austen proceeds to giggle.

A man cave? I ask. Yes.(then Cody grins) a MAN cave.

Really? (I just can't leave it alone). A man cave, in a tree?

Yup! (still daring me to challenge him..thoughts of men's clubs run through my mind)..and we are taking Rock Band up there and installing black-out curtains!

Aha. (I think selfishly) Maybe I will get my living room back. No more constant drumming and strange noises. No more please turn that down. Oooh.. I think..I might even get to read a book in there! So I respond with a simple Okay.

I picture my living room returning to a look like in this pic. where

we listen to Yo-Yo Classic CD's and read in a nice clean, quiet room. (don't laugh..it happens sometimes)

It doesn't take long for reality to hit. Here Austen, Devin and Sandy work on their confirmation stoles while Cody's Odyssey team works on the deck with car-parts, clay, bamboo, etc. strewn everywhere.

What is most amazing to me is how quickly word spreads about The Man Cave.

Brian and I went to Austin, you know the city that is almost 2 hours from our house, to see Brian-Scott and Angee's new apartment. While we were there Brian-Scott mentions he is coming home next Saturday and wants to play Rock Band. I say.."Oh..yeah..your brothers moved it out of the living room. They have converted the tree-house into." (Brian-Scott cuts me off) Oh..I know about the Man Cave! See we men (with big grin on his face) We know about man caves.. (Angee proceeded to roll her eyes.)

I don't even know how to respond. Brian and Brian-Scott laugh.

The next day, our neighbor Justin comes over to study for his driving test. He is looking for Austen. Before I can look for Austen, Justin grins, don't worry. He's in the man-cave. We're studying up there!

In this picture Austen and Devin play Rock Band as loud as they want uninterrupted.

Man Cave heaven!

Summer Please!!

We are ready for summer! It is almost the end of May and we are still going through the motions of studying in the mornings and hosting our weekly homeschool co-op. What is up with that?

It's sympathy. I think. For the second year in a row, we have had a child in our house who is stuck on a school schedule. Last year Mohamad and Mason. This year Mason. Poor guys.

It is guilt that keeps us pretending at this time.

Still. We can start summering around here, can't we?

Truth is, there isn't much difference between our summers and the rest of the year. We tend to think in seasons as far as how we spend our days. So..Austen will continue reading. Cody will continue computing and transmissioning (is that a word?) because that is what they want to do.

What will really change? Cody will spend more hours working. Austen will begin working on his gyrocopter. There will be summer camps. Music camp for Austen and soccer camp for Cody. Mason will spend 10 days in Costa Rica.

Most importantly,the guilt will be gone. Everyone will go to bed later because Mason will not have school in the morning. There will be no co-ops to prepare for. Today is the last day!

We will spend a lot more time at the Boys and Girls Club because Austen is lifeguarding . All three boys are in a mentoring program (and applying for a summer work program..we'll see). We'll eat more dinners at a reasonable hour because my work schedule will change.

So how are we preparing for this almost non-change. The change is in the more subtle things.

Food for starters. Devin and Austen are practicing making the "perfect fruit smoothies". Since we tend to live off of fruit smoothies and bagels on summer mornings. (As opposed to muffins and hot-chocolate in the winter..and "fend for yourself " in the Fall and Spring). There will always be a pitcher of tea or lemonade.

We start putting away all our pants. Jeans, sweats, khaki's..it doesn't matter. Just keep one pair of dress pants because we live in the South and still have to dress up occasionally. We put away our boots and tennis shoes. We replace this milder weather attire with our swimsuits, tank-tops (the guys..I'm just not a tank-top kinda girl), t-shirts, sandals and sunglasses. Gotta have the sunglasses!

We will smell like sunsceen and aloe. We clear a spot on the deck railing for wet towels and swim-sutits. We purchase lots of citronela candles for the porch and deck. We will go to the movies more often. We go to the grocery store and stock up on gatorades, bagel-bites, chex mix, granola bars and fruit galore..things the boys can just munch on between swimming and working.

I am counting down the days.

Faith Statements

I have been thinking about faith statements lately. In particular, the faith statements of my own children. All of our boys have chosen to be confirmed in our local Lutheran church. Confirmation has always been an option for them. I think it is my responsibility to be open for discussion on faith and share my own beliefs. However, I believe that people have differing faith journeys, and I cannot possibly know what their's is to look like. The boys have all chosen to spend a couple years studying their faith within and without the context of the Lutheran church. They choose to say, "Yes, I am reaffirming my baptism, now that I am at an age to make a conscious choice." They then write and read their faith statements to the entire congregation on their confirmation day.

From a very selfish perspective, I like that their faith-statements are almost always the first writing my children do. Yes..we play with writing, but they never really start writing until late middle school when they are writing their faith statements.

Last week, as Austen was trying to figure out how to write his own statement, we dug up his brothers' old statements. I was struck with how accurately each boys statements reflect their personalities. So, just for fun, thought I'd post them. Don't worry. Remember, this is the first piece of formal writing for all of them. Not very long.

Brian


My name is Brian Bates. When someone first says the word "church" the things that I picture are not necessarily "churchly" things. For example, I know that I can always find Elliott in the Youth Room sleeping when I get here. If for some reason, he is not there, he'll be in the kitchen. The word "church" brings to my mind thoughts of friends, food, the attic and other things I should probably not mention. However, I know there is much more to church than these immediate images.
After this year's first confirmation class, my little brother asked me, "so what is confirmation anyway?" I told him it's about asking lots of questions. Now that I am finally getting confirmed, I realize that there is a lot of truth to what I told him. I have walked out of church many times, with more questions than when I entered. I wonder, what really is a perfect Earth? What is God's plan for me? How do I love my neighbor when they are, well, not always so lovable? confirmation does not mean I know the anser to these questions. It means I am just beginning my Christian journey.
In my baptism, I was brought into God's family. I had no questions. I was just loved. In my first communion, I learned the importance of forgiveness. Now, as I become confirmed, I am learning the importance of becoming an active, accountable member of not just my own spirtual growth, but in helping in the growth of the congregation as well.
So while I would love to spend all my time hanging out in the Youth Room, listening to music and eating candy, or..creating mischief in the loft, I understand that I cannot just take from the church. Now it is time for me to start giving back.

Cody

I was asked recently what exactly it means to be confirmed. In a nutshell, I would say confirmation is a reaffirmation of my faith, but that is too vague of a response. So..in a walnut shell, I would say it is getting ready to be an official member of the church.
But what does that mean? As I reflect on the past 2 years I wonder what has changed. Yes, we played with fire. Yes, we tried Pastor Karl's patience. We hid from Ms. Dina (that was fun). We played trivia games. Bet we did do more. We looked in depth at the 10 Commandments and how they apply to our lives both in and out of the church. We dug a little deeper into the Apostle's Creed.
We come to the realization that church is not contained within these walls on Sunday mornings.
I look at the boldness of some of our church leaders. Those that were not afraid to say "Enough". Martin Luther made a stand during a corrupt time in the Catholic Church. Bonhoeffer took a stand during the Holocaust. I think of these examples as I maintain my involvenment in the Darfur Interfaith Coalition.
To be a member of the church is an ongoing process. I plan to continue this process.


Austen

When I first started to think about what to say for my confirmation, I stressed out. I told my mom.."I think I'm getting a head-ache." So she asked me to put the papers aside (the ones from Pastor Karl) and just think of images.

This is a list of what came to mind:
Reading the daily devotionals with Devin
Blowing up bottles with toilet bowl cleaner
Foot through the ceiling in the kitchen...and having to repair it later
Ryan and Ace going down the hill in a mop-bucket.
Going down the hill in a broken wheel chair.
Rock fights on the play-ground. We actually haven't had one in a while. Good thing. It kinda hurt.
Church camp-outs.
Trying to climb the church walls.
The Easter Egg hunts. Those are fun. I remember once Ryan put an egg inside an ant pile. Wow that hurt.
Cookies..deffinatley the cookies.

My brother Brian once said that when you speak of church what comes to mind are not necessarily what many consider to be "churchly" things. Now I know what he is talking about.
I am beginning to understand that church is not just about praising God (though that is very important) but about the people in our communities as well. It is about the relationships we build. It is about helping others develop their own relationships with God.
Jesus was known to hang around with some questionable characters. Someone once said, "Be careful when you bring Jesus into your home, he might bring his friends with him!" I think it is important for all of us to remember that. Our relationships should be unconditional.
I was asked in a recent devotional, if the road I was on today was a road where I would encounter God traveling with me.
I thought about this. I try to keep God in my heart in my daily life. I try to walk with God as I study, as I hang out at the Boys an Girls Club, as I hang out with my friends.
In other words, minster to all.
Thank you.

Prom

Brian and Angee go to Prom.

Dilemma 1: ...how to put the flower on.

Dilemma 2: Convince Brian he is not James Bond.

Last minute touch ups.

Ready to Go!

Oh..wait, the parents are making us pose for MORE pictures!

..and behind the scenes? Kevin (Angee's younger brother) has a birthday party. Boys playing army, posing for pics as they cut cake, and throwing water-balloons.

Lots of fun!

Weekly menu: (I know..we have had no menu for awhile..everyone has been fending for themselves)

Monday: cheese enchiladas, salad, Ranch-style beans, watermellon

Tuesday: eat at grandpa's retirement from Trinity party (biscuits and finger veggies at home later)

Wednesday: veggie chili and corn-bread, strawberries

Thursday: spinach lasagna, garlic bread, lemony green beans, grapes

Friday: make-your-own chalupas

Saturday: dinner at Holy Cross Church

Sunday: not a clue.

Okay..the co-op kids are recreating Act 1: Scene 1 Julius Ceasar as I type. I hear lots of giggling and talk of leprachauns, something about William Kempe looks like a leprechaun?? Oh..I hear something about leprehauns walking under Brutus's legs..since he is "such a brute"..Think I'll see what's up!

Then and Now

I recently took a parenting style quiz on facebook. You know, one of those really statistically correct quizzes that anyone with a facebook account can create and post. Truth is, I seem to have this facebook quiz sickness. I Love these quizzes! I was taking three quizzes a day! I cut back to 2, then 1..now it's just a couple a week. Cody tells me I need to go to facebook rehab. He is probably right. Anyway, I have been indulging myself this week with parenting style quizes. Today I took one i hadn't taken yet. The result of this test? I was crunchy. You know..because that is how we always categorize parents..

As I was taking this particular quiz, I realized that one of the reasons I enjoy these things is because it allows me to reminisce on our earlier parenting years. The questions tend to be geared toward earlier childhood, and I answer as I remember...and then I get results like "you lean towards attachment parenting and even consider homeschooling" You see, the fact that we are on year 11 or something of learning at home is irrelevant.
So this quiz got me thinking about the differences in our lives between then (when my children were pre-school/early elementary aged) and now (when they are teens and young adults). I have created a short list of the comparisons I have come up with.

Then: Family bed
Now: Family hot tub

Then: Dinner at the table. I tried to teach the boys to sit and not stand.
Now: Dinner on the back deck. I try to keep the conversations rated P.G..and not gross.

Then: Before dinner the boys helped me cook
Now: The first one home starts dinner. The other boys help Brian fix cars, transmissions, something.

Then: We watched Power Rangers and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles together.
Now: We watch David Letterman and Lost together.

Then: I stayed home for a decade so we could have the gift of time and a wealth of shared experiences.
Now: We all explore different work, trades and interests. We share our experiences with each other.

Then: Legos took over my floor, stuffed animals occupied our couch seats.
Now: Rock Band and "projects" occupy my floor, guitars occupy our couch seats.

Then: I read to the boys every day.
Now: We discuss what we are reading often.

Then: Their imaginations ran wild. They made stone soup, dug oil wells, and turned my living room into a jungle.
Now: Their imaginations run wild. Today they squished our dog between cushions and made a "Shadow Sandwich" (Shadow is the dog's name). Next, Austen turned the sandwich into a train. Shadow, by the way, thought she was in heaven.

So there you have it. The difference between then and now?

Not much.

Ramblings from home

I am listening to Ta'ayush as he/she? chirps from her cage. The laundry is still going, Austen is reading Plato's Republic (for co-op next week) and Cody is filling out forms for his 1st job at Flying L Water-Park. Yay Cody! Rumor has it that this kind man is hiring Cody with the understanding that Cody will be leaving for a week in May and a week in July. This gentleman is also willing to accomodate Cody's soccer schedule when needed. What more can Cody ask for? Brian and Angee are getting ready for Prom. It is Angee's senior year..and Brian's one and only Prom. (He skipped the one at TAMS last year..he and Angee were speaking at a dental conference that weekend). There you have it. A summary of last weeks highlights. Now the not-so-exciting details.
It is the week following both the Passover and Easter. We were pretty busy last week preparing for and enjoying family/friends for both occasions.

Here are some plants I purchased...they are Austen's "National
Youth Gathering" fundraising plants. The ELCA holds a national youth gathering every 4 years. This summer it will be in New Orleans..with the theme being "Jesus, Justice (compassionate justice) and Jazz". I hope that at a time in our culture when many confuse vengance with justice, some youth will become more aware of what compassionate justice can look like. The kids will spend each day with study, worship, service (New Orleans still needs a LOT of help) and music..like really good jazz. So..these plants..both on my porch (above) and my deck (below) are my contribution to this trip. I hope I don't kill the plants too soon!

We did have one unexpected surprise on Easter morning. It was
the beginning of Austen and the Case of the Mysterious Rash. Austen woke up with his eyes swollen, face and neck red. We assumed he had gotten into poison something or other. There are 180 acres in this sub-division..and he had been playing in all 180 acres the day before. We gave him some Benadryl, covered him in Calamine..and with all the sympathy in the world..asked him to straighten the living room while the rest of us left for church. He grinned and said, "Oohhh.."
The rest of the day was pretty routine. Guests came, we had confetti wars, eater egg hunt (and I found a snake!), kids played in the river..and Austen ran around covered in calamine. The family simply refered to him as "the phantom"..like "Phantom of the Opera". That evening he seemed to be getting worse. Aunt Sandy thinks he has eaten something...but what? We go through his diet for the past few days.."did you eat the 'mortar' at Passover? The cranberry Sauce?" "No.", he replies, "Aunt Barbara told me everything that had berries."(austen is extremely allergic to berries) . We give him more Benadryl and have him soak in an oatmeal bath.
The next day he wakes up worse! We decide it must be some fried apple pies he ate. After all..you never know what they put in those things..there must have been some berries. The doctor concurs. Austen receives a shot, prescription allergy stuff, etc. We decide since Austen is not contagious he can go to the water-park with the rest of the co-op kids.Yes..the same water-park Cody is at today. Mistake. By evening, Austen is miserable!
We keep him home Tuesday. He gets worse. We return to doctor yesterday..not a clue! She is concerned..we up Austen's steroids, and they send him to the lab for blood work...and then it happens. Austen has a seizure.
It has been almost 2 years since Austen has had a seizure. He has been off of anti-convulsants for 4 months now..he has been daring to dream of possibilities in these past 4 months ..pilot license, drivers-license, etc.. possibilities that he would only whisper of before. Maybe he can be a missionary pilot? An airforce chaplain?
Austen seizes with the needle in his arm. We all realize how disappointing this will be for him..as the nurse takes the needle out of his arm (while he is still out), a single tear falls down her face. Austen awakes..a tear falls down his face. They look at eachother and she gives him a hug. "It's okay..baby", she says."I'm so sorry." It is understood that she is not apologizing for needle in arm..she means the dreams, the hopes, etc. Right then and there my heart melts..it is one of those "outside heart" moments that my friend Carol just wrote about in her blog at mySA.com. Here is a link. http://blogs.mysanantonio.com/weblogs/visit_the_can/2009/04/scattered-hearts.html
In the past Austen's triggers have always been needles, lights and lack of sleep. Now we know those triggers are still there. We go back to the doctor tomorrow to see what happens next. In the meantime they continue giving him meds to ease the discomfort of this ever-spreading rash and contact his nurologist about the seizure. Austen is in much better spirits today..and says, "Well I can still run a cyber-cafe..or be president" (grin). My mommy heart is full of pride for the resilience and humor of this precious child. My youngest son..who is (gasp) almost 15 now?
I continue working at the Club. We seem to have an extra amount of angry/hurting kids this Spring. I try to feed them, play with them, listen to them (and their families) and just be there. We are in the midst of developing a mentoring program. Hopefully we will have this in full swing by summer..so we can have one adult(volunteer or staff) consistently developing healthy relationships with 4-5 Club kids over the course of a year. As a staff team, we have decided that this (meaningful relationships) is the best gift we can give these kids for the long-run. So..if anyone is interested in donating 2 hours a week for a year....let me know:)
All for now.

Message for Holy Week

Counter the loneliness, poverty, despair and frustration in the lives of those we

meet everyday. Help bring dignity and respect to all in your daily interactions. How? By modeling a life of agape love. It is simple, really.

Love!

Listen!

Listen!

Love..

16th Birthday!

16. Cody is 16! I feel very bitter-sweet about this. He, however, is so impressed..can't you tell? Actually..this was after a pretty long day. New drivers license (yay..yikes..both), lots of errands to run (by himself!) for mom,

usual co-op craziness at the house

and applying for a job. It wore him out!

I'm afraid that Brian and I have to take some ownership for Cody's lack of enthusiasm. We realized the other day that we had been out-of-town for his last 5 birthdays..at least.

The significance of this started to hit me the other day when I asked him What do you want to do for your birthday?

What do you mean? he asks.

Me: Your birthday...do you want to do something? He has to be kidding, I think. After all, his brothers always have ideas..and we follow up on them! Have we really ignored him this long?

Cody: I have no idea what you are talking about.

Now don't get me wrong. We acknowledge his birthday. It's just happened to hit on the weekend of the OM state finals for the past several years. We have been sleeping at a Boys and Girls Club with about 13-25 other kids these past years. We sing him a song (all the kids over breakfast), we give him a present..and when we get home pick up an ice-cream cake from Dairy Queen. We ask him if he wants to do anything. He shrugs his shoulders.

We didn't always neglect him! The first year we took him on the road for his birthday..we were returning from St. Louis..we drove through Arkansas and spent the day at the diamond mines..per his request. Another year we took his entire OM team ice-skating in Houston...but then we sort-of just stopped. One year led to another..and then here we are. I have a 16 year old son who has no idea how to celebrate his own birthday.

Michael brings home a cake..Cody is busy playing with his GPS. Cody..I tell him as the VanBibbers and our family gather around his cake. You need to come join us.

Huh? You need to come join the party.

What are you talking about?

At the table Cody. You need to join us at the table. He looks at

me as if I'm nuts..and is studying his cake carefully. I have no

doubt he is inspecting it for strange ingredients. (you know..

chocolate, nuts, etc.)

Next comes presents. Has it really been that long since we actually

wrapped a birthday presents. Once again, I know his brothers

receive numerous wrapped presents every year. Cody has been

to parties with wrapped presents. But have we wrapped Cody's

birthday presents? Yikes. My guilt increases. He looks at the

present very cautiously. I think he is wondering if this is a trap!

Finally, Mason and Austen persuade him to OPEN THE PRESENT!

See..no tricks! Just some speakers for the computer. I guess the cards from grandparents and unwrapped stuff from his parents didn't have that element of fear. Now I really want him to do

something for his birthday. I want to do this for no other reason than Cody has unintentionally reminded me how long it has been since we really celebrated his birthday. Okay..never..because he doesn't like large groups of people. Still..I must try. After he plugs in speakers, hangs out in the hot-tub and helps me with some pictures..I ask him again if he would like to get together with anyone for his birthday...even if we do it late.

How about the movies, I ask. blank stare We could have a big party, I try again.. another blank stare

What if I invite your old OM team (the Floresvilliens..in Cody's words) and your current OM team (now we are hitting familiar territory). They can just hang-out in the river and we'll make Sundaes or something.

I see/ hear a pause. A smile. That would be nice.

Quit Wilting!

Several (as in very several) years ago, I attended a small women's college. It was a great time

for self-reflection, deep friendships and becoming more aware of life in general. Last night, I was reading the Mills Quarterly. In particular, I was reading an article on Congresswoman Barbara Lee. In the article Lee is quoting some advice she had been give by a former teacher in response to her concern over racial attitudes. The quote was simple. "The human race is endowed with a spine, and among it's other duties, it is to keep the head erect. I want you to quit wilting."

I couldn't have asked for better timing!

It is time for me to quit wilting.

In the past few weeks we have all had flu's, asthma, allergies (pretty severe ones), etc. I was

also finding myself in quite a funk. I was letting myself get sucked into politics at the Boys and Girls Club, I was worrying about Brian-Scott's declining vision, unpaid bills, blah, blah, blah

I have been completely frustrated and overwhelmed by the ridiculous amount of red-tape effecting the Darfuri families with which we work. Work visa's that expire before green cards can be finished processing, "fee's" (large ones) for refugee's trying to acquire their drivers license, lack of medical care for adults after their original few months, etc. I was really sick of the hateful chain e-mails I was receiving on refugees milking the system. What a bunch of garbage!

I have been wondering how to counter the spread of hate..anywhere..at any time. I immeresed myself in books.(remember, still in wilting mode..not socializing much) I realize that people have to quit picking sides (on any issue) and be on the side of humanity and compassion everywhere. I am intrigued by Elias Chacour (Palestine) as he talks of

countering hate by bringing dignity for all people in our daily interactions.

Are the refugee families frustrated? Of course..but they are more resilient than me..

In this picture 3 year old Sadhia plays with Cody after "borrowing" his t-shirt.

I am humbled in her presence.

I just received a copy of a letter from Kaltoum, a woman I have come to know and love over this past year. She has sent this letter to a camp in Chad, and encouraged me to post it everywhere I can. So Kaltoum, this is for you:)

Salaam alaikum. I am Kaltoum Jumah. I am from Darfur. I love my country, but I left by force in 2004, and I still love my country. I crossed many countries to Ghana, and I stayed in a refugee camp for three years. Then I came to live in San Antonio, Texas, United States of America in 2008.

I wish my country would have peace, and the people could go back to live a better life. I want to tell all the men, women, and children to keep praying to Allah. I want my people to know that people all over the world are trying to help the Darfur people, but it is important for the refugees to continue to pray even more to Allah.

Right now I live in San Antonio, Texas in the United States, and my life is better, but I miss my family, my country, my friends, and my life in Darfur. Although I feel better because I am safe with my children, here, my heart still hurts for my family and friends in Darfur, and it is still hard for me.

I want to say thank you for all the anti-genocide people who are helping my people. You are very good. I wish that my country would find peace and I could go meet all my people in Darfur.

Shokran jazeelan (شكرا (جزيلا El Hamdul 'Allah.

Salaam, Salaam ya Darfur, Salaam, Salaam,

Kaltoum Jumah

Darfur, Sudan

San Antonio, Texas USA

So..in reality, I am being pathetic.

I now physically have the strength I haven't in a long time. I realize how pathetically whiny I have been. I really enjoyed our weekend at the Odyssey of the Mind State Finals. (it forced me to leave the books and computer behind!)

It is time to embrace life. I can't believe I had to read "quit wilting" to snap out of it!

Meanwhile, the rest of the family is having a blast!

Austen and his co-op resumed yesterday. They gave us a list of what they want for co-op next year. We are now planning for drafting/culinary arts (1/2 the kids will do one, the other 1/2 the other) followed by Chemistry/Physics lab (2 year program) for all, followed by another 1/2 and 1/2 split of jazz ensemble or watercolor painting.

And the most pressing news:

Cody's Boys and Girls Club team made it to World Finals on a Ranatra Fusca for their "creative engineering in the propulsion of their water-wheel turn to crawler design"!

The team's problem was to design and build a small vehicle that visits four different environments and changes appearance during each visit.

For those of you who don't know what the Boys and Girls

Club is. We work primarily with disadvantaged youth. Our Club membership is $10 a year and many of our families cannot afford that...rural poverty at it's best. While many of the teams at these competitions are school districts that limit the program to gt and drama department kids. We try to form each of our teams with a combination of special needs, gt, alternative ed, justice department, and plain ordinary kids.

In many ways, we are the Cinderalla story.

So..if anyone would like to help us in our quest to raise $6000 in the next 3 weeks to fund this World Finals adventure, please feel free to contact me!

In this picture,the boys are making last minute changes, 10 minutes before performing.

Okay. Time to wake up Cody. Austen and Devin are patiently listening to my Sting CD while finishing up some math. I need to get Odio moving.

Hot Tub Dreams

It all started at the beach. We had gone on vacation in Port-Aransas, Texas and spent a few nights in a hotel..other wise known as "the pink place." Brian plants himself in the hot-tub..and well, stays. He occasionally ventured out to spend an hour on the beach..or sleep. Mostly..he just sat in the hot-tub. We all come back from the beach renewed..but Brian is determined to keep a peice of our trip with him.
"I want a hot-tub." he announces on the way home.
"no" I tell him. (come on..has he forgotten we have kids in college and braces?)
Brian: Aww..come on..don't you want a hot-tub? That was SO fun.
me: Of course it's fun. It's called a vacation.
Brian: But I want one.
Me: Brian..join the planet. We can't afford a hot-tub!
Brian: I know..Christmas. You guys can buy me a hot-tub for Christmas!
..and so this dialogue continued for months. He would call me during his lunch-break. Hey..I just found a really nice one at xy store..it's only $1500..I think they have lay-away.
Needless to say, Christmas came and went. No Hot-Tub..just lots of Lost episodes.
Fast-forward to March. The phone rings again. Chris's (his brother) neighbor gave him a hot-tub over a year ago and he hasn't picked it up yet. He says I can have it for a hundred dollars. I'm bringing it home.
We clear the deck. We spend a few days and another $100 on hot-tub repairs. And his moment has come.
Clear the way. I have a margarita..and I'm enjoying the hot-tub. He goes to the deck to enjoy.
A few minutes later he is back. Isn't anyone coming with me? He looks so pathetic. I agree to join him. Next comes Austen. No..no starts Brian Don't push off the sides..it will break. Then comes Cody..then Mason..then Calvin...then we are joined by two rubber ducks. The boys throw the ducks at eachother and squirt eachother in the eyes. Brian acts as if he is still on vacation. Cody complains the water smells weird. Mason and Austen pretend we are in a stew. They want to throw in vegetables.
Does Brian notice that this is not the same experience as when we are not on vacation? Never.
The following week it starts to rain. It is Spring Break. We never have less than 7 teenage boys in the house...they are always in the hot-tub. Brian is right there with him. He appears oblivious to the fact that they (the tub of tall, lanky, and loud boys) are there. How can someone do that?
I remind them it is raining..and maybe this isn't too wise. They throw water at me. Brian just grins and waves.
Now we have a house-full of sick kids. Too much hot-tubbing in the rain! Does Brian care? Nope..not at all. He calls this morning to see if the kids have put the chemicals in the hot-tub...you know..the kids that can't breathe! I remind him everyone is sick.
Oh darn he laughs. I guess I'll just have to be in it by myself now!

Our Motley Venturers Crew

Our Venturers glad to be on the ground after a long day of climbing and balleghing (none of us know how to spell that). Pictured below is almost the entire Venturer Crew for Bandera. Crew members from left to right are Justin, Cory, Mason, Cody,Austen and Devin. Missing is crew-member Ricci.
What is Venturers? It's a co-ed Boy-Scout group for teens and young adults 14-20. There are no uniforms, no badges, etc. Crews are adventure based, and much like Odyssey of the Mind, create and plan their own adventures based on their interests..with adult help only in the form of safety-issues.

The crew decided to start with a day at Mc Gimsey Park (San Antonio) copes challenge.

It was a great day for working on team-building and trust. The crew learned the importance of constant communication between team members in order to stay safe and be able to proceed through the various elements.

The morning was spent learning how to spot eachother and

practicing on the lower elements.

Time was also given to review and

discuss what went right and what

went wrong after each challenge.

After lunch the crew ventured (ventured..get it??) to new heights on the Challenge Course and trust falls..where team members intentionally fell backward off of 20 foot beams and trusted their team to catch them and bring them down safely.

Austen debating whether he really wants to continue. 10 minutes later he really does fall..on accident..and his team brings him down safely. Mom (me) is grateful for all the time they spent

earlier in the day learning how to do this...otherwise..we would have had one broken and squished Austen. Instead..he survived to go on with the higher courses later in the day!

Mason on Monkey Bridge..part 1 of the Challenge copes course.

Cody posing for a picture..okay, maybe not. Trying to decide the safest way to proceed on Part 2 of their Challenge course.

That is it. The kids had a fullfilling peanut butter with jelly and apples lunch and spent the day discussing "Silly Willy". One rope burn injury on Justin's neck. Other than that everyone was just worn out and ready for tacos and a hot-tub by evening. The hot-tub was broken, so they played on ATV's instead. You know..because everyone replaces hot-tubs with ATV's...

What's next? Who knows..this motley crew seems to be leaning towards gold mining adventures..they just haven't decided when and where yet...rumor has it Alaska is the place to be. For the more immediate future I believe they are looking at a Copes Challenge weekend, repelling and shallow water scuba diving. All in all, a fun group of kids!

Cleansing of the Temple

Allright. I was asked to put some rough drafts of some sermons up here. If you are uncomfortable with religious topics, please feel free to ignore. I almost never say what
is actually written..but here is a draft for the upcoming Gospel of John:2..the cleansing
of the temple.


My father is a linguist. I spent the first 6 years of my life in Tokyo, Japan, where my dad was a missionary for the Lutheran Church.


Our household consisted of both my parents, our obasan (or nanny) my older foster-brother Kevin, myself, my sister Tania and my foster-sister Yuki-ye. When I was 5, my mom left for a month with my two younger sisters..leaving Kevin and myself in my dad's care.


He was determined to be a great father. He was going to surprise my mother with his child-rearing skills. He would not only keep us safe and happy, but he would educate us beyond her belief. His zeal was overwhelming.


At our first night for dinner my father announced to Kevin and I that we would now speak a different language in every room of the house. Japanese (the only language we were comfortable with) would only be spoken in the kitchen. The dining room and study would be for English, the living room Amharic, and so on.


By the end of that first week Kevin and I were repeatedly saying Nan des ka(Japanese)....algu ba num no entiendo or I don't understand..in 6 different languages.To this day, I can say, I don't understand in a variety of languages. Unfortunately, that is almost all I can say.


It wasn't until Kevin and I decided to sleep in the kitchen so we could actually have a conversation, that our obasan finally put her foot down and insited this nonsense stop. In his zealousy to be a great father, my dad had forgotten that we were children.


To lose our perspective (our intentions) in the midst of our intense desire and devotion to a cause, is an easy thing to do.


In today's Gospel we see Jesus lose his patience at the injustices at the temple. He overturns tables, and drives people out of the temple. Jesus tells the dove sellers, "take those things out of here! Stop making my Father's house a market-place!...and his disciples remembered
that it was written: 'Zeal for your house will consume me.' "(John 2:15-17 )


To illustrate how easy it is to fall into this trap. The trap of justifying unjust actions, I would like to share with you a story titled The Dove Seller. It is the story of the cleansing of the temple, told by the perspective of the dove seller. Written by Sarah M. Foulger from Season's of
Change Mental Health Agency in Maine.


The Dove Seller
I’m trying to understand what happened. I’m trying to make sense of what Jesus of Nazareth did. My next door neighbor says, "It’s about time somebody did something about the corruption in Jerusalem." But as far as I’m concerned what Jesus did is just plain crazy. And honestly, what is the big deal here? It’s Passover. Every faithful Jew in the region is expected by law to come to Jerusalem for the Passover. But Jews from all over the world come too. The place is mobbed!
Everyone who comes to the Temple is required to pay a Temple tax. and it must be paid in sanctuary shekels. Foreign coins are unclean. It may be alright to pay other debts with foreign coins but the debt to God must be paid in coins that are blessed. Only temple shekels are pure enough for a temple tax. Jesus must know this. And how are people supposed to pay their temple tax if they can’t exchange the coins they bring from Rome and Egypt and Greece? This is way it has always been. Doesn’t Jesus know that?
In my opinion he is being unreasonably judgmental and demanding. The money-changers are providing a service. Of course, they charge a lot of money for this service but that’s to be expected, isn’t it? I’ve heard people complain about what a hardship this is. Most Jews are poor. Of course, it’s a hardship. But life is hard and I don’t make the rules. I can’t change the rules. If Jesus thinks he’s going to storm in here and change the rules, he’s got another thing coming!
I’ve heard people complain that the temple is rich. "They have millions of drachmas – why do they need so much money?" people say. They have a point but I’m no priest. I don’t know what they do with all that money. I’m a simple seller of doves. I just do my job and stay out of politics and if Jesus knows what’s good for him, he’ll stay out of politics too!
I’ve heard people complain that the money-changers and the animal sellers are greedy but we’re just trying to make a living. You can see that, can’t you? Every Jew who comes to Jerusalem at Passover wants to offer a sacrifice to God, a thank offering. As a dove-seller in the temple court, I provide an easy way to do that. You may think it’s a racket. I say it’s just making the most of an opportunity.
Here’s how it works. We have special sacrifice inspectors and if an animal brought in from outside the temple is impure in any way it is unacceptable. We all chip in to make sure the inspector will reject any animal from the outside so they’ll have to buy them here at the temple. Of course, any animal we sell will always pass inspection. Sweet, don’t you think? Let’s just say if you want to make it in this business, it’s important to have a good working arrangement with the right people.
I realize that a pair of unblemished doves can be purchased for much less on the outskirts of town. I charge twelve times as much – or more - but every dove seller in the temple does the same. And our mark-up is not as high as the sheep and cattle sellers at the temple! You have to remember how much trouble we spare all the pilgrims who come to the temple. They don’t have to transport any animals. It’s not easy to carry animals around. Not having to bring animals all the way to the temple is worth something isn’t it? Maybe it’s not worth as much as we charge but, like I said, I didn’t invent this arrangement. I’m just working with it. I didn’t create the system. I’m just trying to make the most of it. There’s nothing wrong with that, is there? It’s not as if my big goal in life is to exploit poor people. I’m just here to make a living – like everybody else. The temple is big business. Why shouldn’t I get my cut? Jesus cant rant and rave all he wants about how God’s temple is supposed to be a house of prayer and not a public market but can’t it be both? What’s wrong with that?
I had heard about Jesus but I hadn’t heard he could be so angry. I tell you that fanatic from Nazareth had a whip in his hand and was racing through the outer court of the temple cracking that whip and shouting and turning the tables upside-down. He was trying to clear out the money-changers and all the other merchants. He yelled at us – the dove sellers – insisting that we get all of our things out of the temple! I hope he’s not like these prophets – like Isaiah and Jeremiah and Hosea who think we should do away with sacrifices.1
Let me tell you something. People like sacrifices. It’s much less trouble to sacrifice some poor animal to God than to sacrifice something more personal - like the way you’re living or the grudge you’re holding. In the long run, it’s a lot less expensive to buy a couple of my dear doves than to change your life, for heaven’s sake. Does Jesus think he’s going to revolutionize the way we make amends with God?
I’m not sure I’ve ever seen anyone so angry. My neighbor says it was "passion" but, make no mistake about it, it was anger. His rage was large enough for all Jerusalem and by now all Jerusalem has heard about it. Who does he think he is, God? The man needs to get a grip or he’s going to end up like the doves I sell.
After the episode at the temple, some people confronted him. (Not me – I try to stay out of the fray. I mind my business; you mind your business. That’s what works for me.) But some people took him on. They asked him how he can possibly justify his actions. We’ve all heard the rumors that he can perform miracles. Why, I hear he can turn water into wine. That’s a useful trick! So they asked him for a miracle as a way of proving he was really carrying out God’s wishes in creating such a stir at the temple. Well, he didn’t do anything but he had some big talk, I’ll tell you. He said, "You destroy this temple and I’ll resurrect it in three days?" What’s that supposed to mean? Did he think we were going to knock down the temple just so he could prove he can perform such a miracle?
I want Jesus and his judgments out of here. I want him to leave me alone. If he thinks he’s going to get me to turn my life upside-down just like he did the tables of the money-changers he needs to think again. Could I be a better person? Of course I could. Could the temple be more like a house of prayer. Of course it could. Could the world use a few improvements? Well, you catch my meaning. I’m doing the best I can. Well, maybe I’m not doing the best I can. But I’m not a murderer, I’m not an adulterer. I just cheat a little here and there. What’s the difference?
I guess I don’t want to understand what Jesus was doing or what he meant with all that talk about the temple. I don’t want to change. I don’t have to change. I don’t want to worry about being fair to the poor. I don’t want to worry about corruption. I have enough worries of my own. And if Jesus doesn’t watch out, well, let’s just say, he’s the one who should be worried. Keep your eye on him. He’s a very demanding character. And he’s in for trouble.

So what does this mean for us? How are we like the dove seller? Where are our misplaced allegiances and religious presumptions? Are we overzealous in our national idolatry? Have we forgotten to listen to the wisdom of God? Have we forgotten to live a life of agape love?

Prayer of the Dove Seller
Lord of Life, thank you for the opportunities you give us and for the strength and intelligence to command such opportunities. Forgive our little trespasses and help us to offer every sacrifice you require of us.

Whatever Happened to Customer Courtesy?

Okay...my back deck is now full of herbs. Why? Because I am on strike. I am on strike from
our local grocery store. I am now on strike from our local dollar store...and somehow this led to a porch-full of herbs? I'm still trying to figure out how that happened.

We live in a small town in hill-country Texas with one..yes one..grocery store. Over the past few years, I have watched the prices increase....ridiculously. "I'm investing in my community" I would tell myself..as I paid $5 for a box of cereal...or $3 for 6 dinner rolls.

I knew I was being screwed...but I wanted to believe that I was investing in the people of this small town.

So, two weeks ago, I am in the middle of cooking dinner when I realize I am missing..mushroom soup. That is all. "Can you pick up some Lucky Charms?" asks Austen....oh...and some dinner rolls? "Anything else?" I ask. "Stew meat would be nice" pipes in friend Sandy. We can make stew for dinner tommorow. I have $20 in my pocket. Surely, I think, $20 should buy 4 items.

I get to the store and start the tally in my head. 1 box of cereal, 1 pkg. of dinner rolls...I am already close to $10. This, I think, is insane. Then the voice...you are investing in your community. I pick up a package of stew meat...small package at that..over $7..I am now at $17 for 3 items. Now..if I could just find the mushroom soup. It figures..moved again.

Just then I hear a voice (a real one this time). May I help you ma'am? (remember..living in the South) I see a gentlemen stacking mushroom soup..and a sign that says...well..I can't read it. He's standing in front of it.The man asks again, "would you like a basket ma'am?" No, I tell him..I just want to see the sign.
I ask, "I'm sorry, does that sign really say $1.27 for a small can of mushroom soup?"

Then the huffing and puffing begins. "Well (says nice gentleman gone angry) if you don't like it, I can always raise the price!" "Excuse me?" I ask. (Is this guy for real?) "You heard me..(he responds) I can always raise the price."

Then it happened. My arm (with hand attached) was returning the stew meat. My feet walked to the cereal aisle and returned the cereal. "oh", I think. "It appears, I'm done shopping here."

I return the other items and decide to wait until I am in San Antonio.

Fast forward to last Friday..the day before our OM tournament. I run to our local dollar store (where I shop all the time!) to pick up 3 containers..I don't want to go into all the details..but essentially it ends with me asking the price of what was labeled $9 and rang up $15. I was having a hard time justifying paying almost $50 for plastic crates..so I said..dumbly.."really..are you sure? It was marked $9".

Mistake.

I then listened as the clerk ranted and raved about customers moving all their items. Truth is, the store had only been opened 10 minutes that morning..and I was trying to envision..anyone..moving this huge pile of crates from one shelf to another without being noticed. I thought it was funny. She did not. Led to lots of screaming on her part.

I walked out of that store also. So..in less than two weeks, I have resolved not to buy anything from two of the stores in a town that is only 10 blocks long. Yikes!

Truth is, I am all for supporting my community..even letting them gouge me a little..but not if they are going to be rude about it.

Fast forward to today...I have been informed by Cody's soccer trainer that he needs to eat like a real vegetarian (not a blanca-vore..in the term of my friend Carol)..or acquire carnivorous habits in order to continue training and not, well, pass out. In other words..eat healthier.

I decide to start cooking two entree's an evening..instead of the haphazard approach we have been taking. So over the weekend I bought lots of herb plants. Yes..plants. I figured I needed them to cook with..and it sure beat running to the "big city" to buy herbs. I didn't realize that to chop a cup of parsley we would be chopping two entire plants!

So what happens? Well..we are eating a lot of plants..right off of my back deck! Why? Because the manager of a grocery store felt the need to create a scene over mushroom soup.

Weekly menu:
Monday: taco's...bean and cheese/taco-meat
Tuesday: tabouleh and pierogies/ cheeseburger pie
Wednesday: spicy cabbage and potatoes/baked chicken breasts
Thursday: chile relleno (cheese), rice and beans
Friday: pizza again:)
Saturday: lasagna with green beans and french bread
Sunday: no idea

Austen in Action

Let's face it. Austen is just plain fun. We always said Austen brings levity into a houselhold of intense personalities.How can someone who is so busy and deals with such serious stuff all the time, have such a great disposition?

Here Austen comes in from the back deck after spending a morning on Odyssey stuff. He is getting ready to work at the Club, showing some of the elementary kids how to wire circuit boards...



And what sane kid has fun with Homer? Austen and his friend Mandy dissolve into a pile of giggles over ways to "trap" their "enemies" in a game they are creating on quotes from the Illiad.

Yet with all this playfulness, Austen genuinely enjoys the structure a nd friendships he develops with his Civil Air Patrol peers.

This picture was taken after the San Antonio Lackland Squadron participated in a drill competition. They were seriously reviewing what went right..what went wrong..when Austen peaks at the camera and has the entire squadron laughing until they cry with one commentary after another on how they did. They then try to focus before performing their innovative drill. (Which they placed 1st in, by the way!)

Austen next to one of his good friend Josie. We all like to say that Josie and her cousin Sammy are Austen's body-guards. Both girls participate in both Civil Air Patrol and Odyssey of the Mind with Austen..and they are all Club kids. In other words...they have spent a LOT of time together over the past several years.

Austen has recently helped his dad fix a 4 wheeler. This has by far,
been the favorite past-time of all. Austen plans to spend his summer lifeguarding, traveling, attending a Shakespeare theater session and 4 wheeling everywhere!

Home Office?

Allright. I really want to know. Just who thought up the idea of

a home-office...and does anyone really..I mean really use them

efficiently? This is a shot of our school-room (now there's a laugh)/

home office/morning room/laundry room..that also houses our piano.

Rumor has it that this is the spot where I can accomplish all my

home paper-trail stuff. You know..grant writing, social service

forms for various families, program development for the Club, occasional sermon writing and..heaven forbid.. eventually produce a transcript or something for the boys.

When you turn the corner..you can see that I have an actual desk with computer (I stole it from Austen..my laptop has been in a repair store for..count this 4 months!). We just happen to have

all my books on shelves next to the washer and dryer around the other corner.

I told Brian this morning that I didn't think this was working. I need space! I tell him. He looks

at me incredulously. Well..there's the tree-house. Oi..I think..here we go with the tree-house again. I stare back at him. Do you want to put your stuff in our room again? he asks. I try this every year. It lasts a month and drives me crazy. The problem with having all your work stuff in your room is you never really rest. Let's face it. There is always more work to be done in any social-service type work. Going to bed and waking up to piles of unfinished work makes me unbearable to live with. No. I tell him. I want my own room. Can't you build me a room?

I know I am being unreasonable..but come on..how hard could it be? Really.

The truth is..our house is too crowded to work in any open space. Just around the corner is thekitchen. It usually looks like this. You

know with people and stuff. And while I am a pretty social person, I don't think I have sat at the computer to do, well, anything, in over 5 years without someone peeking their head from the kitchen (and there is always someone in the kitchen!). If it looks like I might be remotely involved in something than I feel a presence of some tall boy or man looking over my shoulder. And then the question "Whachya doin'?". They don't really want to know. They either want the computer, or want to tell me something important. You know..where my undivided attention is needed immediately!

Now add Odyssey of the Mind into the equation. For the next month or two my living room

will always look like this..only with many more small people not seen in this particular picture. They are great kids!..but they are constantly looking for stuff. Glue, duct-tape, paint basically, anything that might be stored in a morning room/school room/office/laundry room!

I realize (again) that my quest for quiet office space is in vain. I do not want to climb a tree

to find quiet. Luckily, the weather is getting a little warmer. I look at our back deck. It has served me well every Spring so far.

The floor and roof need to be painted, new plants could be hung, but it's sure quiet.....

I think it's time to claim my new office!

Weekly Menu:

Sunday: catfish, beans, corn-bread, onion

Monday: quiche, spinach salad

Tuesday: black beans and rice, fruit salad

Wednesday: Quesadillas, fruit smoothies

Thursday: Lasagna, french bread, green beans

Friday: dinner in Austin

Saturday: out-to-eat with Brian :)