Life at High Speed...the Highlights!

We have been without internet for a week. I was gone for a few days before that. While we have been unplugged, life has continued at high speed.

So here are a few highlights...

 We are pleased to announce the graduations of Cody and Brian Bates. Cody has completed high-school. Brian has graduated from UTAustin. Yay for both boys. I think they are happy to be done.

Cody chose to skip any formal graduation. We will have a send off party for both Cody and Elle in August.  Brian had his graduation this past weekend. We went to the one for the school of engineering. Dinner, graduation and tea.

Pictured are Austen, Brian and Angee in the parking garage just before the ceremony.  I chose this pic for two reasons. One...I like the picture. Two..it is one of the last pictures I have of Austen with dreads.

The rumor is true. Austen has cut his dreads!  It is just too darn hot. It is May. It feels like August. Austen wanted his hair-cut before he left for his new job this summer. Which leads to our next highlight.

All three boys have been      HIRED!!!!

WooHoo.

It's official Austen is now a girl-scout. Okay. Maybe not. He is life-guarding at girl-scout camp for the summer.

Cody started working at the Boys and Girls Club last month. He just came back from a 4 day Club conference at South Padre. He is hanging with the kids outside, helping with a computer class and life-guarding for the summer.

Brian is working for ???? (I don't know the name of the company. Big B took the message and doesn't remember the important things) Brian is essentially doing technical reading/writing for the summer to help cover his tuition in the Fall. Yup..he is staying at UT for grad school. He is also volunteering part-time on a 3-D structure project that he is really excited about. Brian will be staying in Austin this summer for both jobs.

Now for the little guy. Levi Thomas Bug K is now ONE!!! He had three..yes three...birthday parties. We told him to enjoy it..he will never have that many birthday parties again. He celebrated on his actual birthday at my parents house. Again on Saturday at the center where my sister lives ...and finally we celebrated during community dining. We fixed his favorite foods. Asparagus soup and sweet potato casserole. Thank you Rhonda for the casserole. Aunt Sandy made cake. One for Levi...One for everyone else.

The past few weeks have been hectic. My family (dad, sister, nephews, son) has 5 birthdays in May. We had several graduations of family friends, a Kairos weekend and some refugee family support to attend to. All which we wanted to spend time with and enjoy. So having no internet, was kind-of a blessing in disguise.

Now are internet is back. We are plugged back in to high-speed connections..but I am the only one online.

Tonight we fixed pizzas for dinner. Brian and Angee are hanging out in San Antonio for the weekend. Cody and Elle are hanging out here. Austen is working with Big B to start fixing his car. (car-parts for his birthday..previous post) Me? I'm still trying to play the trombone, working on a paint-by-number and watching a Criminal Minds marathon. Levi is with my sister for the weekend. When he returns Bug and I will just hang-out in the sand-box, the kitchen and at the pool.

It is officially summer around here, but we are starting off nice and slow!

Happy Birthday Austen

Dear Austen,                                                                   

 Today you turn 17. As I write this you are at the ranch blowing things up. Tonight we will celebrate over Dagwood sandwiches and ice-cream cake . But even with this low-key celebration. Your life has been quite the adventure. 

Your sense of humour and spontaneity keep me young. Listening to you in the kitchen with your Floggin Molly voice as you fry eggs saying  I have the luck of the Irish, the height of the Scottish and I get my good looks from the Italians is a pleasure. You bring a certain energy to our home. An energy I deeply appreciate. Yet all the silliness aside, you are growing and maturing so fast I can barely keep up.

   You have just come back from a month in the wilderness. I recognise that the transition from life as Huck Finn to life as Tom Sawyer, has been a little trickier than you had hoped. Life in the civilised world can be tough, and many decisions about the future loom ahead.

 So on this birthday I would like to share with you a quote from Ralph Waldo Emerson:

What lies behind us

 

                                                  and what lies before us

are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.

So I offer a toast to you, a young man steeped in compassion, love and kindness within.

Love always,

                      Mom

Of Strawberries, Royalty, Rabbits and Monsters

Today is May 2nd..Meaning? Yesterday was Beltane/ May Day. There are numerous traditions that surround May Day.

When my children were involved in Waldorf..this meant finding a pole to dance around. (among other things.) Some years..I jumped over a fire. In college? (this is the REALLY fun one) We had a strawberry smorgasborg. Honest to God.

Yesterday, my Mills friends were having a field-day on face-book. Reminiscing about the strawberries. You know..strawberries with chocolate. Strawberries with whipped cream. Plain old strawberries ..or for some..(ahem Cheryl) strawberries with sour cream dipped in brown sugar. All served with champagne or tea.So I choose to join them cyberly. I decide to have a strawberry smorgasborg of our own..at home.

Normally, we do not have many strawberries around. Austen is allergic. Very allergic. But he was gone and we were all full from a very nice, late lunch.

Sunday morning our church was recognising graduates. Kim and I were presented with a small prayer book (really nice..by the way) for completing the parish ministry training program. The high-school graduates (of which Cody was one) were presented with small scholarships and a prayer book for college students.

My parents and sister had come up to help us celebrate. They treated us to a late lunch at Brick's (my favourite restaurant here in the Tx. Hills). So it seemed feasible to have an impromptu strawberry dinner. (with a little cannelloni on the side)

What can I say? We (Cody and I) thoroughly enjoyed ourselves. Bug and Big B humored us.

Why did I feel the need to have some sort-of tradition? Not a clue..I think it was my consolation prize for NOT Watching the Royal Wedding. You see, I am one of those that really wanted to watch it. And  while I have heard lots of commentary like  we won the revolution or why celebrate a monarchy, my response is simply.

Come on people,it's just plain fun.

No one is trying to undo history..but rather recognise it. Acknowledge it. I mean really, how many families do you know that can even trace their lineage back that far? It is so fairy-taleish (in both a romantic and nightmarish sort-of way).

Besides..being of Scotch-Irish decent..I have attended more than one Burns Night celebration where we start the evening off with a Hail to the President , Hail to the Queen and Hail to the Haggis (think Scottish menudo).Okay..maybe that's not the order of the Hails..but you get the drift. So why wouldn't I watch?

Because it was at 3 in the morning that's why.

I had all the best intentions. My alarm was set, I had a tea-pot ready. I was going to simply enjoy this rare occasion. But the reality was..Bug was not going to sleep that night. So at 2:30 when he snuggled up against me in a deep sleep? I knew I would not be watching the wedding.

My mother, however did see parts of it. Mostly watched many interviews. So as we baked 27 dozen cookies (yes it's Kairos cookie baking time) on Friday , she caught me up on what she had seen.

I kept thinking I would watch a recap or something. But alas, it was not meant to be. Because we were having guests to watch the Spurs play..and  it was time to bring the dreaded boy home.

 Yes Austen is finally home. It takes a while to pack all his stuff and haul it to our car. You know..my car that was full  of weapons! (think bow and arrows, knife, gun, etc.) Lovely, no?

Austen says his goodbyes to our friends at the ranch and informs me of all his rabbit sagas. A cow had stepped on his fishing pole that last week..and he was sick of fish. He did, however see a bull snake. (he did not eat it) and caught several more rabbits. He goes into details of how he has improved his rabbit skinning abilities..and then says...Oh..did you see the wedding?  ..and proceeds to tell me about it.

Wait.. I say. How did YOU see the wedding? He looks at me like I'm crazy. And slowly..very slowly. very clearly.(to make sure I understand him) he says on B.B.C.

That is NOT what I mean .

He knows..this. Austen laughs. It was my last day..I figured at this point, it didn't matter what I did. I watched it with Miss Brenda at the house..and (he whispers) I also ate carne guisada tacos. Lots of them. I figured if I was cheating..I might as well enjoy it.

  So after a month of survival and solitude..Austen treated himself to carne-guisada and the Royal Wedding.

I would say that was the end of our tale..but I still want to talk a bit about monsters.

My son (Brian-Scott) is being bullied. It is a very long story..and he is dealing with it in his own way..but it has been very hard to watch him try to finish his senior design project in such a hostile environment. I want to just jump in and fix it for him. But I realize I cannot. Brian is graduating in a few weeks. He is interviewing for jobs, preparing for graduate school..and instead of enjoying any of it..he is simply trying to get through the next 2 weeks. Telling himself over and over..if I can just get through the next x days I will never have to see y again.

I keep him in prayer and try to give him a listening ear. I help him as he tries to hit that fine balance of standing up for himself, but not letting himself turn into someone he does not want to be.

 Last night as I watched the news, I think of Brian's struggle to maintain boundaries while not selling out his character.  I think our nation is in a similar quandary.

Osama bin Laden is dead.

As my friend Ann said
 

Love, hope and peace to the victims of 9/11. May today help with the closure we as a nation are desperately seeking.....

 and in the words of Nietzsche 


He who fights monsters should take care that in the process he does not become one.

Dear My Beloved...

A friend of mine recently sent a link (on facebook) to a bible study she had written.

I've had some time to spend on quiet meditation, study and prayer lately..so I took some of this time to work through her study. At the end of the study, I had a letter. A letter created with an open mind and listening heart. It is what I imagine God would say to me.

(If anyone is interested in the study, e-mail me privately, I'll send you a link)

Dear my beloved Nikochan,

Embrace.

"This (my love) is my rock, and here I come...

To steal the secrets of the sun

This (my love) is my rock and here come I

To steal the secrets of the sky..." (author unkown)

The secret is open. All are welcome.."Come..just as you are to worship..."

Be (you are/I AM) the rock (love). The rock that weathers the storm/shifts in form, yet never changing at the elemental level. Always (always) surrounded by the warmth of the sun (Son) .

You have been blessed (Remember the cornerstones of your life? Belafonte, King Kong, Beatles, Private Eye Club, Rush and Traci Chapman, Fires of Wisdom, De Colores, Surely the Presence..and more to come!)

Be yourself.

Embrace My People (my human family)

And always..always..

Listen. Listen. Love. Love.

The Boys are Finding Their Rhythm.

There was a gentleman who was speaking at the prison this past weekend. He was a guest speaker from ATT. And he was talking about how there is a study where some scientists have taken peoples DNA and turned it into mathematical equations. When you plug a person's DNA equation into a computer..the computer generates a tone. I.E. We are all wired to have a certain tone.

So if we are all a tone..it only makes sense that we thrive on rhythm.

I have been thinking a lot about rhythm..the importance of some-sort of rhythm in our lives. Especially now that the boys need me NOT...so much, and Levi needs more structure. So I have taken some time these past few weeks to see what is and is not working for us (meaning me and Bug) and we have fallen into some nice patterns in our day.Part of our day. We really don't have a plan for afternoons..Just mornings and evenings . That is plenty for now. And with these patterns? Makes more predictable nap and bed times. Meaning? A much happier Bug.

And just like in a well-composed symphony. Our rhythms are fluid. They are not set in stone..but they are the foundation that holds the rest together.

In the morning:
-wake up, dress, play in the living room, Eat Breakfast
- feed the chickens
-garden
- play with books
-Bug naps, (I enjoy the quiet)
-TEA TIME (for Bug and Me) Breakfast for Cody
-explore instruments
-nap

In the late afternoon/evening:
-swim
-play on deck (in the secret garden)
-start dinner (Bug plays in his play kitchen..and loads his toys in our dishwasher, climbs in cabinets, etc.)
-bath
-dinner
-collect eggs with Uncle Brian
-get ready for bed
-BED


But Bug is not the only one developing patterns to his day. I recently received an update from Austen. And it appears that the boy has found his rhythm..during his time in the woods (or ranch). Since many have asked how/what he is doing. I thought I would share with you today.


-Wake up with the sun.
-Catch breakfast
-Cook and eat breakfast.
-lie on the ground and watch the clouds for a couple of hours
-scrounge some lunch/dinner
-afternoon adventure
-cook and eat dinner
-read
-bed with the sun-set

From what I understand..Austen's afternoon adventures..have involved lots of exploring, discovering springs, hunting for bigger game, creating a cooler that is buried in a hole in his cabin to protect his food from animals, digging for caves near sink-holes.

Austen has asked us to pick him up on Saturday so he can spend Easter with us. Yay!

Then Austen returns to his rhythm in the woods for one last week, before composing a new summer song.

WOO HOO, What a Ride!

'Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body,but rather to skid in sideways -Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other -body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and...screaming 'WOO HOO, What a Ride'  -author unknown

This is one of my all-time favourite quotes!

And for me, the ride has taken me to and now THROUGH the Parish Ministry Training Program for the Southwestern Texas Synod of the ELCA.

It's official. We (meaning me, Don, Kim, Mike, Everitt and Larry) are finished ..with the studying part, that is.

Next month we all have exit interviews with the director of the program and company, then another interview with the Bishop.

I have spent the past 3 years with these guys..and now? Our adventure really begins!

And so I enjoy this time. This time in-between what was and what is to come.  I came home from class Sat. night to 12 teens/young adults. playing Settlers and various other games whose names have escaped me. They were here to celebrate Cody's birthday. Making pizzas, listening to the coffee house station and just laughing, talking and catching up with each others lives. Nice.

Brian and Angee came down from Austin. And the dreaded boy came out of solitude for the evening. (He is now back in the woods, so to speak. Not to be picked up until Easter) We had the whole gang home. 'Twas very nice.

Then Sunday morning found me back at the prison. Some of the men-in-white offered to treat me to lunch. Alas, the  volunteers and one of the guards had beat them to the punch. I celebrated with my partners in crime over some-sort of hamburger, potato lunch in the cafeteria.

  A few hours later, I find myself with 39+ men in a classroom. We are short volunteers so drama and English choir share a room. The men are all trying to learn to sing and play a particular song.

  An hour later we are all still here. There is laughter. There is prayer. There is a lot of reshuffling of chairs as everyone tries to squeeze between the instruments while someone brings in a fan to get some ventilation in the room.

I sit along a wall between two of these men. One is the writer of the play. The other one of the choir members.Surrounding us are members of the drama team. We discuss the importance of using the gifts that we are given. And I am challenged to use my own gifts, as well.

There is a fiddle part to be learned. I am encouraged to help one gentleman, in particular, learn this. We agree to hammer out the tricky parts next week.

I watch the sun pour through the bars of the windows, surrounded by the voices of these men as they sing.. Each and every man in that room has memorized this song. And now they have joined together to sing in unison Set Me Free  by Casting Crowns.

And as I listen,

I know.

I know I am right where I am supposed to be. The rest of the journey is still untold but

WOO HOO, What a Ride!

18!

Yesterday Cody turned 18! We celebrated low-key. He and I and the bugboy went out for tacos for lunch. He opened some presents from extended family, and spent the evening with his girl-friend. Rumor has it that not only was it his birthday but he has been dating Ellie for a year now. So dinner with Ellie it was..followed by going to a local cafe/restaurant/club  and listening to a friend who had a gig in nearby San Antonio.

Holy Moly..who would have thought! I am so proud of the young man Cody is today.

When we first decided to homeschool for the long haul Big B and I decided we wanted 3 things for our children in adulthood. These were a strong sense of compassion, responsibility and humor.

Cody is all of these things and So. Much. More.

And WOW..what a journey it has been. For you see, when Cody was 3 he was diagnosed with PDD/NOS..a few months later HFA. A few years later he was rediagnosed Aspergers/HFA/Highly Gifted. But by that point? Who cared?

Cody had broken down his original barriers of autism. You know those books you read or movies you see (A Child Called Noah, Dibs in Search of Self, etc) where a kid goes from autistic to fully engaged adult? Well that is Cody.

Why him? We honestly can't say. At the age of 3 Cody went to PPCD where an amazing staff worked with him daily to develop speech, parallel play and an ability to walk without spinning;)

As soon as he came home from PPCD we had set up the Son-Rise program ..or lifestyle rather, at home. Did we really expect a change? No..but we wanted him to know we loved him. We wanted to catch those "green-light moments" when we could. And somehow over a few years, we got lucky.

While some of his milestones were major..I.E. speech, eye-contact, etc. Many were (and still are) much more subtle.  But the truth is Cody knows, and has always known, more than anyone else what he needs to live more fully.

We learned early that we needed to trust Cody. Sometimes this trust meant supporting him when things seemed crazy. For instance when he buried all the black-keys to the piano in the backyard? We took it in stride and buried with him. (Only to be glued back on at a later date)

The details of Cody's journey are a book in and of itself. And a few scholarly papers have been written about him. But by the age of 9 Cody was taking apart..and fixing.... computers instead of pianos. At the age of 16 he was taking apart..and fixing cars.

Cody has a gift for memorising patterns and systems in ways many cannot. At the age of 7 he referred to the elements on the periodic chart as the ingredients of the universe. Next was patent laws, then bar-code numbering, etc. Cody learns these things with a passion. Then moves onto something else when he is done.

Over the years he has studied the nuances of  conversation. Cody uses the art of questioning and dry wit to keep conversations going. He has come to realise that many of the things that fascinate him (wiring diagrams, programming codes, banking systems,etc..) are not the most intriguing topics of conversation for many of his peers.

As odd as it may seem since he still often appears painfully shy, Cody is probably the most social of all of the boys.

Today Cody is studying information systems. This skill will serve him well in a number of fields. It is a skill that is treasured by certain companies and gov't agencies..yet he chooses to study at a small liberal arts college instead of a more technically inclined school.

Why? Because he knows he needs the balance. Cody is stretching himself. Head, heart and hands. Good for Cody.

There is one song that I listen to often. I sang this to Cody at nauseum as he was growing up. I'm sure he'd be happy to tell you just how nauseating it is.

Whenever I here it I still think of Cody. John, I love you.  by Sinaed O'Connor is Cody's song in my mind. (just replace John..)

The refrain is what gets me. The lyrics are simple...

There's life outside your mother's garden
There's life beyond your wildest dreams
There hasn't been any explosion
We're not spinning like Dorothy
If you look now then you'll see why
Don't be afraid to cry
This time don't let yourself fly
Child
Pick up those dancing shoes
Kick off those wedding blues
These are the ways
You can choose....

Cody is 18 now.

And while they may be disguised as flip-flops, Cody has chosen to pick up his dancing shoes.

The Trial Weekend!

Austen is back!!!

For a day or two...(maybe three). This past weekend Austen left for a weekend trial of his month of survival and solitude.

We had agreed that at the end of the weekend he had three options.
1)Stay on until the end of April.
2) Come home.
3) Figure out what he does and doesn't need and re-prepare (catch his breath) for a day or two at home, before returning until the end of April.

Austen has chosen option 3. I asked him if he was sure ..he gave some specific reasons but most important was..you know..I'm a little hungry. Actually...I'm starving!

But he remembered his manners. Austen and his friend Mason (whose ranch this is) took us on a l-o-n-g...drive to what is now being referred to as Austen's house. 

 We discover that starving  was not really the concern. But wild-hogs? They were a concern.

 If you look closely at the door, you will notice that it's just propped up. Not wild-animal proof.

So tomorrow, Austen and Mason are fixing the door so it actually closes..you know..just in case a hog wants in.

Cody and his girlfriend Ellie come with me to pick up that Austen kid. Mason and Austen show us the lake (now puddle) where Austen caught a bass. They offer us rabbit jerkey that they smoked over the weekend..after they ate a rabbit. And yes..that is a THEY. Because apparently solitude does not include Mason. Mason is Austen's life-line. Mason sleeps with his walkie-talkies next to his bed. (In case Austen needs him) Austen checks in with him twice a day to let him know he is alive. And? Austen and Mason splurged on roasted rabbit and a late night conversation together, before Austen's return to solitude.

The rest of us? not allowed.

Austen quickly adapts to civilisation. He requests tacos on the drive home. Oh my...one chimi-changa, 1 bean and cheese taco and 2 beef fajitas. He wasn't kidding! He was hungry. Apparently one fish and a rabbit are not sufficient for 3 days in the woods. Hmm...Austen announces he is bringing a tomato plant with him when he returns.

We listen to Flogging Molly and Teddy Bears in the car. Then Austen takes off to hang with some friends..because really..he is a pretty darn social kid.

Today Austen is thoroughly enjoying the luxuries of the modern world..tomorrow, back to the ranch to repair a door. Austen feels he is now better prepared.


So in a few days?


The adventure really begins...

Bandito Update

Yesterday, at Grandma's request, Grandpa managed to get a photo of all the Banditos!  Thought it would be a good time to give a quick (super-quick..like bullet-point) update on each.

Bandito numero uno aka Brian-Scott or Brian the Lion (first on left..with the sunglasses on his head!):


  The kiddo is about to graduate!! This May Brian-Scott graduates from UT Austin with a BA in E.E. 

   Plans? Find a job/internship for summer..return to UTAustin for graduate school. He is staying in the same apartment and everything;)

  For now Brian continues work with his senior design team on a really awesome project. But the stress-level for the team has been off-the-charts!

Spring Break came at a good time.

Bandito numero dos aka Cody, Odio or Colt. (second from left holding/ throwing(?) numero cinco)

   The kiddo is about to graduate! This May Cody's life as a homeschooler will be officially over. 

There is a rumor we will have some-sort of homeschool graduation something or other. I really need to get with the other parents and work out logistics! 

Also? Cody is about to have his 18th birthday! (gasp). Once again, we have no plans at this point. It has been very difficult to get any feedback from Odio on what he would like to do. Cody has never been big on celebrating birthdays.

Odio plans to work..somewhere..this summer and start at Schreiner University in the Fall to study information systems. 

For now Cody continues to review some pre-cal, read some British Lit and is applying for numerous scholarships. Because while between federal aid, merit scholarship, work-study and parents he has covered tuition, books and room. Odio still must figure out a way to pay for his meal card (which is required for Freshmen). Odio is trying to avoid taking out a loan. But that is a back-up.After all, the kids gotta eat!

Bandito  numero tres aka Austen or Austen Poston from Boston. No..he's never been to Boston..just has a mother who creates ridiculous rhymes. (second from right..the dreaded boy)

   The kiddo is NOT about to graduate!  Austen is, however, about to spend a month living off the land ..almost..he has a 1/2 built cabin from the 1800's to sleep in. Austen leaves in two weeks for his month of solitude and survival at a friend's ranch. Originally we had planned for Austen to do this in May..but see graduations above. Hence..the bump to April. Besides Austen, too, will be looking for a summer job. So actually being available to work in the summer would be helpful in the job-hunting department. Also? Austen needs to spend May getting himself logistically in gear to attend St. Phillip's Culinary Arts program (dual-credit) in the Fall.

But back to Austen's month of silence and survivial. He will check in with our friends (walkie talkies!) twice a day so we know he is okay. 

My little Thoreau  (or Mountain Man? Grizzly Adams?) is spending a trial weekend this weekend. Please hold him in your thoughts/ prayers, etc. over this next month. It is something he feels he really needs to do. I take a deep breathe and trust that he will be okay. Austen has been planning this for over a year. He will be armed with his bow and arrows (which he has been practicing daily for quite some time now) and a 22 for small game and predators. (think..lions, and tigers and bears! Okay. Okay..maybe just mountain lions and wild hogs..We are hoping the noise will scare them off!)..and yes..a few other things..including his first aid kit.

Bandito numero quatro aka Calvin or Calvin Alvin..because his Aunt happens to be  Austen's horrible name rhyming mother. (pictured 1st on right)

Calvin just came back from a mini staycation downtown S.A. He had a blast! Now he is finishing up his sophomore year in high-school. Calvin has applied for a culinary arts program at the local high-school Now he waits to see what happens. If he doesn't get in, he has several electives in mind for a back-up.

Finally we come to Bandito numero cinco aka Levi, Bug, Bug-a-lug...same Aunt as Calvin... and Wilson.

Levi has learned to respond to all the names above. For 10 months? I find that pretty-darn impressive. More exciting,  Levi just had his baptism this past Sunday. Below Bug is pictured with Pastor Sandra after the service.

Priceless!

Why I Go To Prison..(and a little rambling about the human condition)

It is almost noon on a Saturday afternoon. Big B and the boys are working in the back yard trying to set up a pool.  Bug is with my sister. I am dressed in my jeans, long-sleeve shirt and flip-flops. I am spending the day catching up on laundry and study.

3 books to read, a couple papers to write and I am set for my parish ministry training class next weekend. (sigh) I am SO not an academician. More a hit the ground running kind-of person. But I have grown up in academia..I know how to play the game..and I do love learning. Just not formal study, per-se.

I think this need to meet people where they are at is what has drawn me to ministry. To partner with people.

I think my friend Don said it best.

Don is a fellow PMTP student and serves at an asst. minister in small-town Tx. Don and I met shortly after a week in which he had served in three funerals and was preparing for one more. Two of these were involving children. In other words..it had been a heart breaking week.

But Don? He just looked at me and said You know Nicole, I went into ministry because I wanted to be noble. What I have found is that instead, I spend most of my time just showing up. Holding hands. Praying...and crying.(pause)I do an awful lot of crying. Then he looked at me straight in the eyes and said..But I wouldn't trade it for the world.

I hope to be like Don.

But I am getting distracted... The point is, tomorrow I return to prison!

For the past year I have been slowly increasing my involvement as a volunteer through the chaplaincy program at a local medium-security men's prison. At first I went for a Kairos weekend...just to help from outside and one afternoon inside to attend a closing ceremony. Then..well...once you see a need....

Now? I'm hooked! I love to go to prison. Why? Because it keeps me grounded. It reminds me what it's all about.It is a place that moves me to listen, to laugh, to listen, to pray, to listen, to cry and to listen for that still small voice.

So I continue to study..and plug through various theology because the guys on the inside? Keep me motivated.

I have been doing some soul searching to see why I am drawn to this environment. I realize that it is because prison is a small microcosm of the human condition in general.Just easier to identify.

I see men, who do not know how to trust. I see men who view those around them as predators, learn to trust. And as they learn to trust, they learn to respond instead of react. I see these men slowly reach out to those they most fear. I see these men reach beyond limitations that are impossible to imagine. And this transformation I see..then transforms me. These men minister to me.

These men force me to look at my own biases, privileges, stereo-types. They help me embrace the goodness in humanity in the midst of total chaos. They help me realize that many of the conflicts and divisions in the free world are simply ripples of the same fears they face on the inside.

For instance..just this past week. On the first day of Lent actually. I found myself getting very defensive. I didn't start out that way...

Lent has always been a special time for me. I enjoy it because it is a time of reflecting on what it means to sacrifice for others. A time to remember what Christianity is all about. I often give up something for lent..to remember that I am imperfect. (I have this delusion, at times, that I am). To pull myself out of my comfort zone. (I.E..I am cutting out coffee for lent..) to remember to not get in a rut. To take risks. Mostly? To know that I can take risks because I can trust. Because just like my brothers- in -white, I too, must remember to trust. And sometimes? Trust is a hard thing.

And the giving up of coffee? Is an outward act, to remind me of the inward stuff that I want to work on.

Now, that said. I know Lent is not for everyone.

I have a son who is agnostic, a son who is atheist. I have many dear friends and family members  of other faiths or non-belief.  But Lent is special to me..but when I click on my facebook.

My, oh my..the lent-bashing is rampant!..and I start to get defensive. I know that those who are lent- bashing are reacting out of their own defenses.They are not intending to bash..but rather having fun with what appears down-right silly. Some of this is done out of their own hurts from those in the religious communities. I remind myself...it's not personal.  I turn off the computer.

Later that same day, I uhmm..turn the computer back on. I see a post on same-sex unions

 I am glad to see some support for those in same-sex relationships But as I scroll down, as often happens..organized religion..or people of faith are blamed for the lack of civil rights for same-sex partners. I think of all my friends and family of faith..who have worked hard to fight for civil rights for ALL people. I think of my many homosexual friends who are strong in their faith of choice...And I react (not respond), publicly..on facebook.

Later,  privately in a message to a dear friend..I try to shift the blame of this lack of civil rights to a certain political party..and then I realize what I have done. I have let myself get defensive and react...and in turn attack another group.

I have let myself get caught in that human tendency of reacting and finger-pointing when I am defensive or feel life is not fair.(Which it still is not, for my friends in same-sex relationships).

But the truth is..no one is exempt. Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Hindu, Zoroastrian, Wiccan, Atheist, Agnostic..the list goes on. No one is exempt from biases and prejudices. No matter how hard we try. It is part of the human condition to try to put people in groups..or stereo-types in order to understand things.This is not an excuse for ignorance. It does not mean we don't look at our own biases and work hard to move beyond them. As my dear friend, Heran, once said Ignorance can only be excused so far.

But it is also the human condition to forgive, to reach out, to move on and to truly celebrate each other in all our uniqueness.

So this is what I am reminded of in prison. We all screw up. We all make mistakes..and life is not fair. But you make the best of it, and you enjoy your fellow humans anyway.

For instance..at this point in time, the State of Texas..in all their wisdom, are proposing ridiculous budget cuts to the Texas Criminal Justice Systems. Off the top of my head..I can tell you that proposals are running to cut breakfasts, chaplaincy, re-entry programs..and to increase the number of early-releases of Tx. offenders to make room for offenders from Arkansas. It is pure craziness.

But my brothers in white? They take it in stride. They are not happy about all of these changes. They are worried. They are scared. Yet they encourage each other..individually and as a group, to not play the victim. To keep their lives straight..to appreciate and enjoy those around them, despite the fact that life is not fair.

And as I watch them in action I am, once again, humbled.

So apologies to my friends I have offended or made uncomfortable this past week. I am working on my reactions..I am learning to respond. And I truly care for each of you.

But now I am off. Because the goodness in humanity is coming disguised as a few families in cars. These families are showing up to help Big B and the boys with their "pool party". (I.E....lots of digging). One family brings some cantaloupe and oranges.. and one nice guy brought me a trombone!!!!

Ha ha! Now I can celebrate humanity New Orleans Style!

uhmm...after I write my paper...you know..so I can be like Don.

Learners Permits and Mushroom Houses

Austen is driving!

Yep. He has been seizure free long enough to get his learners permit. He even waited an extra 6 months..you know..just in case..

Am I scared?

Absolutely!

But I am also pleased for him. This is a fairly standard right of passage (so to speak) for many teens. A right of passage we never imagined possible for Austen.

Since he was 9, Austen has assumed he would never drive. When his brothers got their permits and licenses we would look at Austen and say..Oh sweetie..you know. And he would sigh and say..Yeah..I know..I can't drive. It's okay..I'll ride a horse. (or plane, bicycle, gyrocopter, etc. insert alternative options here)

His brothers and friends would always pitch in with

Aww..don't sweat it. We gotcha covered man. We'll take you wherever you need to go.

 When he was flying planes with Civil Air Patrol, Austen would contemplate how to design a car that could also have a co-pilot. After all, if you can fly with a co-pilot..couldn't you drive? But mostly? He just spent his energies and dreams in other directions.


Austen's seizures began to subside. Against all odds. And once we learned to control his brain swelling with diet? Well, then the dreaming of driving became more frequent. Austen cracked open the drivers ed.handbook.

Oh Austen..I would begin.  

Just in case Mom..just in case. I know it probably won't happen.

So here we are. Trying the unthinkable. Taking it one day at a time. I take a deep breath..and enjoy this sense of normalcy he has..even if it is just for a little while..My boy is armed with a learners permit..and boy is he using it!


Are you going to the store? I'll take you. 

How about the post-office? I'll take you. 

And he grins from ear to ear as he chauffeurs me around town.

But more exciting than the permit? Is his new /used car.

A blue,very blue on the inside, Mercedes. Who knows? Austen and Big B might even get it running by the time he gets his license. They spend several evenings a week on repairs.


But Austen is not the only one around here with new transportation. Bug has found a horse! Yet another of the new/used rocking horse variety. (also in need of repair) But really..who cares?!

Bug spends most mornings riding his horse in  our secret garden. Yup we are creating a secret garden

It's so secret, that I have posted it on facebook, and now I am blogging. Pssht. so much for secrecy around here! Actually, we needed a space on the back deck that was a tad more baby/toddler proof than what we have now. Hence the garden on the deck!


The older boys put up netting and a picket fence around the deck to keep Bug from falling off. Bug and I plant tomatoes, peppers, basil and mint in containers. Bug discovered the joys of mud! Wow..what a mess! Unfortunately, the garden is secret enough the plants haven't figure out they are supposed to grow yet.

But we're sure trying!

But no garden is complete without ..you know..a mushroom house.  Cody and Austen put together a mushroom playhouse. It was quite a fiasco, let me tell you.









 Meanwhile, Bug spies from the bookshelf as the boys build his mushroom house. In Bug's behalf.. he did try to help. The older boys, however, banished him from helping until they were almost complete.

Austen assures him that this house is for him. Check it out, dude. This is  going to be like having your own room. You're pretty lucky. I mean, really, this mushroom is almost as awesome as the tree-house!



Finally the house is placed in the secret garden.

                             
And so life goes on..here in the Texas Hills. We are having entirely too much fun!

Non-traditional in Business Casual or Traditional in Flip Flops

After much deliberation, day-dreaming and occasional angst. Cody has narrowed his college choices down to two.  Cody is choosing between:



Schreiner University. A small , fairly traditional, liberal arts college in Kerrville, Texas.  The upside being that it is close to home and he can come home when he wants. The downside being that it is close to home and he would like us not to be-so-close.


and then there is...

 Kettering University. A small, non-traditional/hands-on/co-operative ed. science/engineering/tech school in Flint, Michigan. The upside being he is far from home. The downside being..he is            far-  f a r - f  a   r        from home.









Both schools are small. Like really, really small -(Think 1000ish total student body) Both have extremely small student-teacher ratios. Both offer Business degrees with a major or concentration in management information systems. Both offer free-tutoring (A BIG PLUS in Odio's financially oriented head) and although we originally had a bit of sticker shock at price of one of these institutions of higher learning....in the end, it turns out that both will be financially doable.

And that? Is where the similarities end. So we visit the campuses. We start with Schreiner because it is so-close.

 It is a nice, Texas Spring day when we arrive. Cody is asked to come an hour early to visit/interview with an admissions rep. They spend a lot of time discussing dorm options, work-study options, soccer;), test-anxiety and the differences (not good or bad) between the type of learning Cody will encounter at Kettering versus the more traditional Schreiner.

Here is a pic of an MIS class taken outside because..well..it is a nice day. Cody is invited to come back and sit in on an MIS class (if he is still interested) after his visit to Kettering.





We join 4 other students for the campus tour.

The president of the campus comes out to greet each student individually. We visit the turtle sanctuary. We discover that one of the exercise bikes in the gym has a game where you chase a dragon. Cody's eyes twinkle at the possibilities... We pass kids playing Ultimate Frisbee and in true South Texas fashion are treated to a ghost-story about one of the buildings on campus.


Cody leaves saying the campus was much nicer than he expected.


Next we are off to Michigan for a Prep for Success Conference. All Kettering students participate in a minimum of 5 semesters of a co-op. Cody is placed in Section B. Meaning? He would work July-Sept. Go to classes Oct.-Dec. work Jan.-March and return to classes April- June for the next 4 1/2 years. At the end of which he would graduate with not just his BA but 2 1/2 years of professional work experience.

But first Kettering is hosting a dinner in San Antonio. At dinner,Cody gets the opportunity to meet a few students who have co-op jobs here in Texas. The students are very impressive. Cody also meets both his admissions rep and his co-op rep. Cody's co-op rep hands him a booklet on  resume building and encourages him to create and upload his resume before the upcoming conference so that they have time to look at it and edit as needed.

Also? Cody and I go shopping, because unlike Schreiner where Cody and other prospective students showed up in jeans and t-shirts, Dress for Success kids? Are instructed to wear business casual..and a very specific description of business casual is included. So Cody and I are off to find a jacket that will keep him warm enough for the weekend..and look okay with his dress pants, shoes and nice shirt. We realize that the coat he fixes cars in..isn't going to cut it.

As we spend the day shopping..Cody and I discuss some of the different purchases each school will require.

We realize that if he goes to Kettering he will need a much more energy efficient car than the gas-guzzling Blazer he currently drives. Also? More than one or two business outfits seem to be in the future.

As for Schreiner..well...Big B and I had agreed that if he stays nearby he can purchase a scooter. (Cody is shooting for a motorcycle but Big B is saying no way) and Cody adds..could I have a nice pair of flip-flops?I still have my old ones for after soccer games.

So we agree. Schreiner-flip flops. Kettering -clothing for business and business casual.

And then we are truly off to Michigan.

Kettering informs us over the phone that there is another prospective Kettering family on our flight (from our transfer in Atlanta, Ga.) and that they will be returning with us as well. We are encouraged to locate them and take a shuttle from the airport to the hotel together.

We find them immediately. Alex and his mom..Eva..are from Southern California. Both boys and moms hit it off, so we hang out quite a bit over the weekend. (Most of the Kettering pics have been taken from Eva..because..well..we all know I take lousy pics.)

Flint has snow!  For us snow-deprived folks..this snow is magical.

We arrive in Flint on Friday night. Cody and I play in the snow before heading for lunch at Applebees. We return to the hotel to watch movies on HBO (we don't have HBO at home!) then meet Eva and Alex for dinner. Along the way we meet another Kettering family from Colorado. Johnathan and his dad join us for dinner.

We arrive on campus early Sat. morning.. Here are Cody and Alex before the day gets going. We moms promise them we will limit our picture taking of them (except of the snow!!) if they will pose for us now.

The boys agree to humor us.




and I only cheat on my non-photo promise once(during the day..that is)!

We start with tours of the dorms. Everyone at Kettering has a single room in a suite. Murals are allowed to be painted on the walls in the hallways.


Then...we are off to the classrooms. There are a handful of traditional looking classrooms. Most..not so much. We couldn't really take many pics of the classes. For those of you who have participated in Odyssey of the Mind, worked in Think Tanks, or any government agency..you understand the need to keep works in progress quiet. There are works-in-progress everywhere. But we were allowed a few pics. These we can share.

Here the prospective students discuss a car in progress with a current Kettering student. At this moment they are discussing what operating systems are being used to run a certain program as part of this project.


Here are pictures of the names of some of the classrooms which I found particularly amusing.

                                                                               

After the tour we catch the end of a session on affordability. This session is followed by an expo of various departments...an opportunity to have your resume edited. Cody spends almost 20 minutes with a faculty member as they work together on his resume.  Lunch with faculty. Visiting classes. Applied math and a business class for Cody.

Cody meets and visits with his potential academic advisor. They spend some time discussing the most-likely direction for his co-op. It is a fascinating opportunity...very tempting...a tad intimidating at this point in time. Also? He probably will only have the opportunity to visit family and friends (and girlfriend!)4- 6 weeks out of the year for the next several years. That 4-6 weeks is including summer and Christmas break.

Then we are back for more sessions on resumes and interviews. More sessions on student life..a student panel. Things start to become a blur..and just when you know you can't absorb one more thing...


The parents and students are separated. Our kids spend the evening eating pizza and playing games with current Kettering students. Parents are bussed to a local museum. Here is a picture of me and Eva in front of museum..because we wanted a picture to prove to our family and friends that we were in snow!!!! The parents have an evening of amazing food (see pic below) and lots of conversation with other parents and Kettering faculty.

 We are bussed back to Kettering to pick up the kids. Here is one last shot of Cody, Alex and Johnathan before returning to the hotel for the evening.(and yes..they were allowed to change into jeans for the evening)

We are now back in Texas. Trying to finish processing all that we saw and heard over the weekend. Kettering is truly a unique and incredible opportunity. And Cody is the first to admit that he feels extremely comfortable with the other students. Cody is not so sure he will have as much in common with the students on the other campus....but he also realizes that he would like to know more of what a traditional education is like.


Cody is a boy who has spent most of his life as a very hands-on, self-directed learner..and he is drawn to the idea of being just a regular college student in a traditional setting.


So after a bit of late-night research and soul searching, Cody decides that  business casual can wait until grad school..for now?

Flip flops it is.

It Takes a Village

We have all heard the saying It takes a village to raise a child.

I have been thinking about how true that is, lately.  Big B and I have 3 sons..Brian-Scott, Cody and Austen. But along the way (in the past numerous years) our lives have been profoundly touched by another 8 children who have spent considerable time in our beds and at our dining table.   In other words? (whisper) we have our own village.

  We don't go into too much detail with our "other kids" because..well..their lives are a little more private. Their stories are theirs to tell. But I can give you a glimmer of their personalities.

  First there was K ..a niece who stayed with us quite a bit for several years. K was only 5 when I met her...We nicknamed her "fingers" because she was ALWAYS into everything. K would only wear Big Bird socks,  loved to pet the goldfish and was (and still is) one of the most inquisitive people I have ever met.  As life unfolded. K did eventually find a permanent adoption with grandma..and we keep in touch.

  Next was Manuel - a neighbor and friend of Brian-Scott..who Brian Scott brought home from pre-k. Manuel was (and is) so serious.  He loves to fish. He's almost always carrying a puppy.  Loves to draw...and when they were younger,  was willing to participate in any imaginative game the other children created as long as he first clarified with them that  this was just pretend. Manuel lived with us off and on for 5 years. We keep in touch.

  But Manuel was not the only friend Brian-Scott brought home. Shane came also. Actually, we just watched Shane during the week while his parents work. Shane was an indian (of Irish decent). Literally. He wore an indian costume f-o-r-e-v-e-r. As he got older..he traded in the costume for camo. Shane's favorite past-time? Paintball! Shane hung out a lot..and moved in for a short spurt or two in his late teens. We partnered with his parents in raising Shane. Shane still keeps in touch.

We have my other nephew C. C stayed with us during the week when he was a baby so his parents could work. We lost contact for a few years. Then C lived with us during the week for a year so he could homeschool with us.C is in the autistic spectrum, and is a bit overwhelmed at times by his need for structure and routine. He can -and WILL- recite almost every Sponge Bob episode by rote. C is an avid reader, budding cartoonist, and aspiring cook. C (like K) now has a more permanent living arrangement. We keep in touch!

Mohammad is our host-son from Lebanon. In the world of exchange students. Mohammad was pretty young (15) when he spent the year with us. Mohammad is a very gifted boy who LOVES drama, singing, cooking and fashion design. Mohammad visits when he can. We keep in touch.

I guess since Brian-Scott brought home two kids..Cody and Austen didn't want to be left out!

 First was Austen's friend S. S stayed with us for a little while, after the death of her father. (single dad). We all knew it was transitional at the time...We like to refer to Austen  and S as "the James Bond twins". During her stay with us  (when both Austen and S were about 13) S would tell everyone that Austen was her twin brother. They were both  into a grunge look for awhile...but somehow always found a collar to play James Bond. The two would make eye contact with each other, flip their denim jacket collars and say "my name is Bond..James Bond"..and crack themselves up. S is now living with a family member..and seems to be creating a new life for herself. We keep in touch.

Finally we have  Cody's friend M. M hung around for awhile even before he moved in.. He was one of the first to claim Brian-Scott's room when Brian-Scott moved to Denton. M (and his dad) stayed with us officially for a couple of years after M claimed a room. M is a soccer player, fairly studious, and deceivingly private. Because..he is quite a chatty guy. But when he and Cody are together. As S likes to say Oh My!.  We often refer to Cody and M as Thing 1 and Thing 2.

Big B and I could never have cared for these children without the constant support of others. Grandmas, Grandpas, close family friends , church community, Boys and Girls Club community, homeschooling community. college friends, all the folks from community dining, and the martial artists (can't forget the Professional Karate Institute families) have been available to surround our motley crew with unlimited love and support...and also? To help with the logistics.

You know things like -I can babysit for you on Monday while you take x to the doctor. 

Here I brought popcorn for the kids.

We can drive Brian to the tournament.

What sizes do you, x, y or z need?(clothes)

and mostly..listening. 

Just yesterday, I found myself venting over coffee with a close friend and again in a private chat with some college friends. Why? Because it has been one of those weeks.

Manuel is off to the Navy. Shane just lost his mom to a battle with leukemia. Brian-Scott and Mohammad are really stressed in school right now. Cody and M are still going through the pre-college maze. Austen is driving! Cody and Austen got into a fender bender (AND ALMOST A FIGHT!!) in town. and K has a whole 'nother slew of things going on.

But this same group of children (along with all their friends) have become protective and available for each other..they have become their own village. And this village? Is now joking about this next generation (smirk and all)  as "Round 2".

Meaning Bug. Lucky Bug!...and (gasp) rumors of more to come?

(sigh) The village that has supported Big B and I over the years..have now incorporated our  young adult village people.

And this larger, stronger village is reaching out with open arms to Round 2.

Yes, there ARE homeschooled athletes!

  A few weeks ago sardine mama over at sardines in a can  wrote a response to some questions that are often asked of homeschoolers, and gave a small glimpse into a life of learning at home.

At the time, I read with pleasure and thought to myself Hmm..it's been a long time since anyone has even questioned what we do.

And then? Our son's homeschooled soccer team won the Texas- Christian Athletic League state championship.

And the questions/statements began..

.Oh..they play with other homeschooled teams right?    The answer is not often. Usually they play school teams. Sometimes public, sometimes private.This is a logistical thing. While schools often practice at school, the homeschoolers cover a much larger geographical area in order to have enough members to form a team. Meaning? Less homeschooled teams to play. However, in the State of Texas homeschools are considered a private school. So this makes us legal to play with private school leagues. The T-Cal league throughout the state starts with a little over 90 schooled teams. We are the only homeschooled team in the league.

 You know, I put my children in school so they could play REAL sports.  Wow..don't even know how to respond.

I will tell you that they practice.

They play other teams.
Sometimes they play nice:

 Sometimes they play not so nice:

 

and sometimes? Their coaches have things to tell them...

and maybe the coaching is where the misnomer of non-real sports (whatever that means) comes in. We do not pay our coaches. They are (gasp) volunteers. Dang good ones, at that. Our coaches this year were previous homeschooled grads. (one is a fireman, one is a cook) who play soccer and came back to coach.

....and like all good coaches, these coaches listen, they yell (only when they get a tad excited),they reprimand. These coaches meet each player at whatever level they play and work to bring them to the next level..both individually and as a team.

and maybe the coaching is just one of the obvious difference between most homeschooled sports team and most schooled teams.

Attitudes of team members towards players of other ages, grade-levels and skill level are also pretty apparent. Why? Because the homeschooled teams I have been exposed to just don't care. They have not learned to separate other people by age, grade or ability. So they don't..

It is this lack of stereotyping or judging that becomes blaringly obvious (not good or bad) in the difference in the overall attitude of homeschooled team-members towards eachother  when compared to the attitudes in many of the teams which they play.

Also? The team members attitude towards siblings. I know it sounds weird. But it's not a secret that homeschoolers come with families attached..often big ones. So at every game, during 1/2 time..all the siblings of team-members..ages 18 months to 22 years..will hit the field and play together. Sometimes family members of other teams will join them.

When schooled players see their siblings on the field, there is usually an initial panic and an urgent whispered "get off the field! You're not supposed to be here!!" These athletes are not acting this way because they don't love their families..they are simply reacting out of fear. They don't want to see their brother or sister get in trouble.And often? Somewhere along the line, they have often been taught that families are embarrassing.

So in these players behalf, let's face it, we are at a game. Games are serious stuff. Brothers and sisters should not be on the field!  Much less playing with the enemy. Once assured they are welcome and no one is in trouble..these schooled athletes, watch wearily from the bench while their siblings play.

The homeschooled athletes? Usually don't even notice.

This is business as usual for them. You will here an occasional "my jersey is here if you want to borrow it." "Do you need some gloves?"..and that is all.  When it is time to start the second 1/2. All the siblings clear the field, and the game resumes.

So, these are basic cultural differences that become apparent on sports fields between schooled and homeschooled athletic teams. These differences are merely  reflections of the weekly routines of these athletes..both schooled or not schooled.

For example, as I type Cody(17- and our soccer player) Austen(16) their friend Devin(17) and Levi(8 months) are hanging around our kitchen table. The older boys are eating pizza. Levi is playing with cheerios.  In the kitchen are Sam (5) and Rachael (3)..they are running to the table for a bite of pizza and then back to the little people universe that has taken over our kitchen.

Meanwhile Cody's best friend Mason (an 18 year old schooled soccer player) is waiting another 30 minutes before his timed lunch break. A break he will share with his same ages peers. This morning? Mason went from one class, to another, to another..this afternoon he will do the same..and then to soccer.

That is Mason's day..every day..every week. 

Since my kids are babysitting today. They spent the morning playing swords. Actually? I believe they started by being "knighted" by "King Levi"..who would watch the battles from inside. Then? The "good knights" being Sam, Devin and Rachael..chased down the evil gnome Austen. While the big troll Cody continued snoring in his cave.

Now that lunch is over, Cody has declined the opportunity to play. He has explained his case to said knights and they are debating whether studying is an excuse not to join battle.  The "good knights" mull it over and decide studying is allowed for a troll. Now? The knights are planning to hunt down the evil gnome Austen (now turned fiery dragon) in the woods, before returning to the castle for an afternoon nap. During which time the older boys will study some economics.

..and that is Cody's life..most days..most weeks

So it is only natural that these types of cultural differences become apparent when you see the relationships between the athletes on schooled teams and the athletes on homeschooled teams. But honestly? I think the differences start and end with just this. The relationships.

What if they want to go to college? What if they want to play college ball? What will they do then?

Okay..that is two separate questions. Pictured above are Cody and the other seniors from his team. (All 5 of them!)

Of these 5 boys. 2 (Cody being one of them) are still trying to decide which college is the most financially suitable for them, 1 has been accepted to West Point, 1 will be attending a local state college and 1 is planning to spend a year doing missions work. At least 3 of these boys have the opportunity to play college ball if they so choose.

So there you have it. You can be a highschool athlete and homeschool. You can practice, win, loose, show good sportsmanship and bad sportsmanship. You can go to college. You can play ball...and you can even, occasionally  WIN A STATE TOURNAMENT!!!