The Plot Thickens

I have spent the afternoon reading or re-reading the first 3 books. The Great Conversation and The Great Ideas. (I've never been good at reading one thing at a time). Sardine Mama at sardinesinacan offers to join me. Austen and I discuss theories on what a liberal education is.
I get all excitable and start trying to include the boys..and then catch myself.

I realize when Sardine Mama asks which specific books to read, that I need this thing called a plan.

Hmm.

I plan to read books 1-5 by mid January...focusing most of my time and attention on Book 5 Aeschylus, Sophocles, Euripides and Aristophanes. This is simply because I have read 1-4 before. So it's sort-of a cheat..I know. Basically, the first 3 books are an explanation of the "conversation" per se..and then summaries of the ideas. (I know..did not do the books much justice). Book 4 is Homer..the Illiad and the Odyssey..which I know that Sardine Mama and her crew are fairly familiar with. So..I propose to host one "Socratic Saturday" a month. Anyone that has read all or some of these readings are welcome to join. It will be very informal. We will serve tea (hot or cold depending on weather), lemonade and alcohol. We will enjoy some snacks and maybe take a walk, fish, swim or get warm by a fire. (once again..weather depending) as we discuss.

February books 6-8: Herodotus/Thucydides, Plato and Aristotle
March books 9-11: more Aristotle, Hippocrates/Galen, and Euclid/Archimedes/Apollonius of Perga/Niomachus
April: books 12-14: Lucretius/Epictetus/M.Aurelius, Virgil and Plutarch

essentially, 3 volumes a month (after the initial cram 5 books in a couple of weeks). This would put us completing the set in June of 2011..which gives us a little "wiggle room" for life..since I am determined to do this by Sept. of 2011.

And no. The World will not end if this does not happen. I just gotta see if I can do it:)

If someone has to miss a month..it is okay. If someone just wants to listen to the discussion but has not read..that is okay too. Essentially, all are welcome just know we will be discussing these thinkers for the day.

This is a crazy amount of reading..and I know by condensing things I really don't give any of the authors justice.

But that is how it's gonna be.

The Great Conversation Challenge

It started after watching Julie and Julia on d.v.d. I watched with the boys..and thought. "hey..I want to do that. I want to set a goal for myself, and see if I can meet it." I thought of cooking..but knew that would never happen. How about..well..what do I want to do?" I have spent way too much time on facebook and blogging, lately. I do realize this.

I remember fondly how I used to binge read. I would set a goal to read all the books in certain sections of various libraries..and usually succeed over a summer. I started this nonsense when I was 9. In high school I made a bet with David Cortez that I could read every book in the library before him. We both got half-way through and then realized that the other half we had read before high school. (Except the scary books..I wouldn't read scary books because I was a wimp) I enjoyed the books. I enjoyed the challenge of a self-imposed deadline.

When I graduated from college the first thing I thought was Great. Now no-one can ever tell me what I have to read again...and I meant it. But it wasn't long before I felt the need to work through a list of some-sort.

When I started the pastoral ministry program (which I started for spiritual..not academic reasons) I was surprised when I realized I was really looking forward to reading for a class again. I thought I would be more challenged (academically speaking) in this ministry program..and I have been some semesters. .I have learned much about spirituality in general, church history, visitations, homiletics, etc. and I am grateful for the sense of community and friendships developed. But, I still find a part of me craving the thoughts/ideas running around my brain from others far more intelligent than myself. The thoughts of thinkers both secular and from various faith backgrounds that span the centuries.I miss the pleasure of those "aha" moments. Those moments when you get a glimmer of another understanding of human nature you would never think of on your own.

So I look at my shelves and see The Great Conversation and all the other 53 volumes of the Great Books collection. The entire collection, still sitting. I started this series a couple summers ago. I asked my parents for their set. When my father retired from Trinity, my parents gave me the set that was in his study at home. They needed the shelf-space in order to make room for other books. They gave me the set with the understanding I would share the books with my mom whenever she wanted. I was so excited. I read book 1. I read 1/2 through the designated Year 1 readings in a summer..and then I just stopped.

I become excited at the prospect of reading the entire set..but UGH in 10 years? If I don't do it in less than 2 years..I will probably never do it. My attention span is just not that long. I mention my latest desire and predicament over dinner. Michael says he just started reading them straight through..he ignored the reading list. Now there's a thought!

The boys become curious (very temporarily) as to what we are talking about. We discuss the leaders of Western Thought. We discuss the critiques of limiting this "discussion" to Western Thought by primarily white men.. but remind them that it is still important to know these thinkers...simply not limit oneself to them. There is a lot to be learned from Shakespeare, Dante, Locke, Plato, Socrates, etc...

The boys eyes begin to glaze and they quickly become much more interested in how Big B kept sausage casings warm in a friends garage. (It involved a self-rigged candle-warmer thingy). Michael says he has read books 1-5, so if I will "catch up" with him..we can read and discuss together. Then with a big grin he says, "yes..we can discuss the books over dinner." The boys look panicked for a second and quickly change the subject. They claim they are non-readers and by the way how do you make a chicken coop? Brian and Michael point out the different styles of reading everyone in the house prefer...and then we let it rest. The boys are familiar with more of these thinkers than many of their peers. We don't want to turn my challenge to myself into something they learn to fear. Besides, they have been really cooperative in our new dinner-cooking arrangement.

After dinner I look at the shelves. I have read some of these books..parts of most. I decided to take Michael up on his offer. I hope to have the first 5 books read by March(2 of them are pretty much lists of other works)..and all 52 by Sept. 2011.

Anyone want to join me?

The Return of the Dinner Table - Again

We are trying again to re-establish a nightly dinner routine.

We have done much better this year with ongoing community dining..but we still manage to scrounge and eat in front of the t.v. on other nights. The boys have begun looking at dinner as a time to either engage in conversation (yeah) ..or grumble and mumble about what others have cooked and state there's nothing to eat around here as they stare at a t.v. and eat. (boo)

We (Big B and I) knew we had to do something..but were too lazy and busy to address this sense of apathy. Our boys used to cook. A lot. Except for Brian who always chose "leftover night" or reheating frozen pizza. Then it happened. It was the straw that broke the camels back, so to speak. In their defense, I must state that Angee, Brian and Uncle Dave had no idea that we were dealing with a hit-or-miss grumbling dinner crew at home.

We talked to Brian-Scott and Angee over Thanksgiving break.

I think the conversation went something like this..

Uncle Dave :So Brian, tell me, do you cook much while your in Austin?.

Brian: (big cheesy grin) Hmmm Angee heats up those frozen things.

Angee: Oh yeah (motioning a frying pan on a skillet) I heat stuff up on that thing. (still motioning). You know..that thing that goes on the stove.

Uncle Dave:..and you? (looking at Brian)

Brian: Well, I can put things in the microwave..but it's better when Angee does it.

Angee:Yeah..with that thing (motioning again)

Me: You mean..the skillet?

Brian and Angee simultaneously: Yeah..that's what it is.

Brian: Oh..and I make breakfast tacos almost every morning..I cook for Angee when I'm up before she is gone.

Angee: Which is almost never...

Brian: (still grinning)..and I still make shrimp tacos.

The conversation turned to other things..and then a few nights later Big B calls me at work:

Things need to change. I've been thinking about it. There is no reason that our boys should not still be cooking. Brian cooked when he was younger..and now he knows how to make three types of tacos??..and that's after living on his own for 2 years. We can't have that with the other boys. They'll all be on their own in a few years. They need to know how to cook! There is no reason why everyone can't be responsible for dinner one night a week..and that includes Mason and Michael..they need to learn too.

I was tempted to remind Big B that when the boys took turns cooking before Brian always claimed "leftover night" and simply reheated (in the microwave) the dinner that Austen and Cody had previously cooked...but I refrained:)

..and so we start. The boys protest..Austen reminds us he already cooks a lot. This is true. We tell him then he should be able to cut back, but that he can still help whoever is in the kitchen if he wants. Mason insists he's too busy. Brian reminds him that we all are. Mason grumbles about making toast..but then says he'd rather take a weekend, and asks if he can make steaks. Cody is gone too much..so we give him Sunday.

They(the kiddoes) all grumble that sometimes they are too tired to cook. We remind them that is true for everyone. Our friends who help with community dining agree to grab whichever child has a night to help cook if they happen to be cooking in our kitchen. We cook for a family of 7. There are 6 of us..and three are teenage boys. Meaning..there is probably a friend. Community dining involves planning for anywhere from 10-20 on any given day.

So for the most part our week is like this. This is this week, it is understood that if you know you can't be home on your night, you swap with someone ahead of time.

Mondays-Michael (Pam is going to help him in the kitchen sometimes..but I am pleased to say that Michael is insisting on learning and not handing the task over.)
This week? Chicken pot pie. and boca burgers.
Tuesdays-Big B and sometimes Sandy (sometimes community dining) This week: tacos..like father like son?
Wed- Austen and Sandy/Devin (community dining) Salmon patties, green beans, potatoes with mushroom and onions, choc. chip cookies
Thursdays-(community dining)..whoever is available. Zuchinni meatloaf, peas..this week Ricci and Devin cooked for us:)
Fridays-me (sometimes community dining..sometimes not) Venison roast, hawaiian rolls, salad, sliced fruit.
Saturday-Mason and Brian or Michael - steak, fries and corn
Sunday-Cody and mom (more community dining) Not sure yet..thinking cheese ravioli's with
french bread and some sort of vegetable dish.

It is true that most of our dinners are carnivorous heavy..except Sundays..but I do make sure that we have veggie breakfasts and lunch..so it all balances out in the end.

It is also true that no family member is home every evening. We are (ahem..eyes rolling) busy people. Still, there is something comforting in knowing that home or not..there is a family dinner (like at a table with good moods, bad moods, essay panic, fatigue and lots of laughter) every night. What has been unexpected is the extension of this time together..in spontaneous board games while meals are finishing, or in planning to watch a movie together after dinner, etc.

This is starting to happen more often than not.

It is nice.

Canaries in A Coal Mine?

There was a time when canaries were used in coal mines to let the miners know that they were in unsafe (I.E. toxic) caves. I often wonder if my boys are the canaries of modern society. Fact is, my family seems to have been poisoned. My children have been touched by epilepsy, autism and kerataconous...and all three have asthma. What do these illnesses all have in common?

It appears that while no one knows the specific causes of epilepsy, autism, keratoaconous or asthma what they all have in common is a mix of genetics and environmental toxins. It is often speculated that it is unknown toxins that can trigger these genetic dispositions.

Luckily..my canaries are still singing. They are singing despite the fact that we seem to be moving them from one toxic environment to another. They realize, these canaries of mine, that they have been blessed in relation to other, not so fortunate, canaries.

I wonder. Is it the house we lived in and refinished? Did it have lead paint?How about the playground? Was it filled with unknown metals? Did we worsen things with the manufactured home we bought years later? Was it packed with formaldehyde? Did we allow too many immunizations too close together?Were my children reacting to mercury in our tuna? Was it the massive amounts of power lines by the neighborhood pool? Too much chlorine? This list is endless. We try to keep things fairly safe and sound..but we've never been over vigilant. We obviously have missed on several counts.

But I want to know. I need to know. I'm tired of speculating.I need to know for my children. I need to know for my future grandchildren..(imaginary or not). I need to know for all future generations.

What are my canaries telling us?

In response to disadvantages of homeschooling

I wonder why we always find the need to find divisions. This is a picture taken last year at a Ropes Course in San Antonio. A group of kids both homeschooled and public schooled. Can you tell which is which? I'm betting not (unless you know the kids). The kids themselves, don't care. They recognize there are pros and cons to all choices and that it is simply a matter of differing choices. I think we should learn from them.

Okay. I stumbled across this blog last week, while trying to teach myself how to create links.(don't ask..it involved hitting lots of buttons and not-so-nice words on my part) Anyway, I found an article listing perceived advantages and disadvantages of homeschooling. It was a blog created by a college student as she reflects on her various class projects. Overall she is not too harsh and she has some interesting insight. Feel free to see at this link. BEGINNINGS ON EDUCATION: Home Schooling (okay..fingers crossed..seeing if I learned or not).

Yay..I'm learning! I thought I would take a few moments here to respond.

First off, I would like to say, that I agree with the author of this blog. There are disadvantages to homeschooling. Like any educational choice a family makes, it is a give and take of sorts. I'm just not sure this would be my own particular list.

1.Time Restraints-parents lives are turned completely upside down when they choose to homeschool their children?

Strongly disagree. When our children were in school, our lives were constrained by a school schedule. Once they returned home, each individual family member discovered (parents included)that we could take control of our own time.

2.Financial Restraints- for married couples, many times one parent will take on the full time financial responsiblity while the other stays home to homeschool. This can be a big hit to financial situations.

I would have to say there is some truth in this. Although, many homeschooling parents do both work and there are quite a few single-parent homeschooling families as well. What we see are parents restructuring their lifestyle (including career choices) and putting things on hold to spend time with their families. There are, however, many non-homeschooling families who do this as well.

3. Being with your children "24/7". Making the decision to homeschool your children means they are around all day long. There is no time off.

It's true when children are younger especially, that you are with them a lot as homeschooling parents. Is this a disadvantage? Most homeschoolers would say, no..they LIKE being with their children. We personally found, that when our children were at home full-time, they were less needy in general. For example..when my children were in school and I answered a telephone, they were constantly demanding my attention. Once they were with me all the time and the phone rang, they vanished. I was free to have an uninterrupted phone conversation. They did not feel the need to compete for my time and attention.
I have also found that when homeschooled teens are older, they tend to be around less than many of their schooled peers. Reality is these teens are flexible to work hours their schooled peers are not. Many start college courses in their teens. These teens spend hours a day on specific interests (dance, music, soccer, airplanes...). Homeschooled teens hang out with their friends late on school nights because they can sleep late in the mornings. I have found that once my children can drive, I see them less and less all the time.
Brian moved out of the house and into a dorm at the ripe old age of 16.
Cody often says things like "I'm staying at Grandma's after my game, working at the tire shop on Friday and then going to Galen's for the weekend. I'll see you Sunday." And then returns for dinner with la familia on Sunday.
Austen? He's still letting me drive him places.

Limited activities-If a child does not attend school it has limitations.Your child will not be able to join a school sports team or club. Also school related activities such as dances and events will not be in the cards for them. This can cause friendship restraints.

This is just crazy talk. It is true that they can't usually play school sports..like in a school. However there are other non-school teams around. Cody has played soccer with a homeschool team for two years..after 9 years in local leagues, where they compete against (gasp) real brick and mortar schools. Like in the same league and everything. Kids are not limited to school sports teams.
As for dances, etc. Once again..a big misnomer. Co-ops often offer these opportunities, and many homeschooled teens go to dances with their schooled friends.

Soccer tournament last year..can you tell which is the public schooled team and which is the homeschooled?

Cody with the Boys and Girls Club team (private school, public school and homeschooled kids working together) receiving the Renatra Fusca (big deal) to move on to World Finals in Ohio. Two years in a row for Cody. (Maryland with a homeschool team the year before)

Brian and Angee get ready for prom. Once again..one was public schooled, one was homeschooled. In the end? They are going to the same prom!

Now academic competition? Interestingly, that is never mentioned in the blog. That's another story. While many homeschoolers compete in Odyssey of the Mind, DI, robotics, Spelling Bee, Geography Bee, History, debate, theater...etc. At this time homeschoolers are still not allowed to compete in Academic Decathalon. This, I feel, is a true disadvantage as I know several homeschooled teens that would enjoy this particular venue..but that is a whole 'nother blog.

Brilliant, Good-Looking and Goofy!

About a month ago, I was taking a walk on the UTAustin Campus with Big B, Brian-Scott, and Angee. Brian was teaching us the "etiquette" of properly shooting tapioca balls out of a straw. I was walking with his girlfriend Angee ..and asking her.."why?" Angee is a very talented young woman. I love my son..but come on..he is teaching us how to spit!
Being the typically supportive family that we are, my uncle and I had been wondering why young, intelligent kids are drawn to these boys of ours..because..well..they are weird.
Angee perked up. "oh..she said...W and I were just talking about that... The Bates Boys ..all of them.. are brilliant, good-looking and goofy! "

So apparently, my husband and I have raised brilliant,
good-looking and goofy boys.


Here Brian and Cody are checking out Austen's new laptop...and then the goofiness begins!

I write this because recently, I have been asked how we homeschool. What do we do? What is our philosophy? What do our days look like..and I never feel I have an honest answer because things change so often.
So to give these questions an honest answer..I need to start from the beginning and assure you that "brilliant and goofy" were not our life goals...but we'll take them!

In the beginning..my husband and I intended to send our children to Catholic schools. Our oldest son did attend a Catholic School for two years...and then we pulled him out. The school was not a good fit for him..and he had been wait-listed on another school's list. So we decided to homeschool for "just a year". We chose a pre-packaged catholic curriculum..and Brian and I would sit around an old army trunk in our living room, listen to Traci Chapman and "do 2nd grade" for a couple hours a day..while his brothers played...and then he would skate or skate-board until his schooled friends came home...after a few months we "did third grade"...and then we decided we liked homeschooling and would continue.

We moved...we put curriculum aside and just made a daily routine of reading, cooking and fishing together.

Then I panicked and sent the boys to the local public school. (no private options in our new location)

So..Brian went to 4th grade..we did not want him skipped ahead, Cody started 1st grade and Austen started Kindergarden. To make a long story short..Austen came home at Christmas. At the end of the year Cody had refused to participate in anything and Brian had started running a numbers game at the elementary school.

Big B and I knew we were going to return to learning at home...this time, for good.
So we began questioning what was really important. We decided that we wanted our children to have 3 traits as adults...compassion, responsibility and humor.

The question was..how to do this?

Since we had three very differing ages and personalities, I knew that our catholic pre-packaged by grade level days were over..so I discovered SonLight. It was a great literature based program for multi-levels. Perfect! I ordered a curriculum...I organized our morning room into a make-shift study area..and we were ready to go.

The boys played along for exactly 3 weeks..and then they were done. Their books would "disappear", they wandered off...and could not be found...they would say things like "oh..I forgot" and I found myself interrupting their own self-found "projects" to say they had to "do school".
I had been reading about unschooling..and missed the freedom we had when we had been at home before. "That's it!" I proclaimed. This is your education. You can learn what you want. I'll support you in whatever you want to do. ..and Brian built skateboard ramps for almost a year. We went to the library often, the boys played, and played and played. We read together daily(I still had all those great Sonlight books) and played lots of boardgames.

Then? Panic set in..again. I had stumbled upon some Waldorf Homeschoolers. We went to some conferences, met many in the Waldorf world..and it caught our imagination. I realized we really needed more rhythm to our days...I was drawn to many of the ideals of Waldorf...but I knew we would not be "purists" ever. We ate junk-food (think Hot Pockets), my children occasionally watched t.v., I liked the freedom of unschooling.
So we established a co-op...and when asked I would tell people we were "Waldorf Inspired Unschoolers with occasional Sonlight panic".

For the next couple of years, our children met 3 days a week with other families, we started these days with yoga, hired a Spanish tutor, introduced the Waldorf lesson blocks (Creation Stories, Norse Myths, Greek Myths, Geometry, etc.) and participated in Odyssey of the Mind.
The boys also became involved in gymnastics and karate at this time.

As Brian out-grew these Waldorf years, my uncle began to tutor him in math and computer-programming and Brian began taking science and more formal Spanish classes at Friday School (a co-op in San Antonio)
When I began working at the Boys and Girls Club, things changed again. Brian was in highschool. He knew he wanted to go to the Texas Academy of Math and Science his junior year. I decided this would be a good time to return to SonLight. Brian would study several hours a day. He knew what he wanted to do, where he wanted to go, and what he needed to do to get there..and so he did.

Cody and Austen, however, have never been so consistently driven..in spurts maybe..but not all the time. Unlike Brian, Cody and Austen like to slow down and just soak up atmosphere sometimes. They returned to complete unschooling my first year at the Club. They read, practiced instruments and worked on math when and how they wanted, before the Club kids arrived. They were pretty much free to study/explore whatever they wanted. Then they played and hung out at the Club.

Cody was the first to ask for more structure. He knew his older brother had at one time used a Catholic curriculum, and was curious. We ordered this for him. I told him if I ordered this stuff..he needed to actually study it. He did. Cody began to study with a vengance for a couple of years...and then he decided he was "done". He decided he was "done" about the time that Austen decided he needed more structure. At this time the younger boys were late junior high and early high-school.

We (Cody, Austen and I) talked, a lot. Brian was now at TAMS. We encouraged Cody and Austen to think about their futures. What were some of the things they are interested in? Cody wanted to travel. He spent a year saving money for a trip to Europe..during which time he began learning to rebuild transmissions. Cody did spend most of a summer traveling in England, France and Italy. When he returned, Cody was interested in a few small liberal arts colleges..we made sure he knew what he needed to meet their requirements..and provided him with the resources to meet those requirements. (tutors, Sonlight (again) and Friday School) Cody has since decided he may not go to college and has started his own transmission repair business. He is currently studying auto-mechanics from both an on-line program and with Big B(who is a mechanic). He informed me today, that he is considering getting an internet marketing degree through an online program...possibly from Full Sail.

Austen? He wants to run his own cafe' or join the air force. He would like to get a pilot's license..but wants to make sure he stays seizure free for another year before attempting this. He doesn't want to go to Friday School...and like his brother, after spending a lot of time studying for a year..decided he needed a year to "just be" (not as dramatic as "I'm done"..I admit) So we remind him to study 4 hours a day..something..anything...lately he has been studying/exploring wine-cellars, book binding, art and reading lots of fiction. He stays busy just hanging out with friends..in the neighborhood, at the Club..wherever we happen to be.

We have a very democratic style co-op that runs out of our home. These kids only meet two days a week, so Austen studies for co-op...when we remind him. Math, drafting, architecture and a very liberal-arts approach to chemistry/physics.

I occasionally panic, but I know that I have no idea what the future of these boys hold. So I try to support them as they study/explore whatever interests them.

We were striving for compassionate, responsible and humorous. According to their peers, we have brilliant, goofy boys.

What we have, are boys who are fully engaged in living..and for that I am grateful.

Accepting the Refrigerator Challenge

My friend Carol at www.sardinesinacan.blogspot.com has created a mini-challenge of sorts. She points out the healthier habits of some of the other blogging families, and then asks, what is in our fridge. Oh geez I think. I'm frightened to look.
So before we begin..let me set the stage of my refrigerators surroundings. First of all..it is hard to find. There is a bag with nebulizer resting on the floor next to it. Leaning over the nebulizer would be a level. I don't know why this level resides in this spot, but it does. The top of our refrigerator doubles as medicine cabinet and empty egg-carton holder. It is a bit intimidating...and yet no refrigerator to be seen?
Why? Because it is covered in magnets and pictures. We haverandom words "they" "other" "ocean" literally littering our fridge. I once had the delusion my children would use these words to create some sort of great literature on our fridge. (You see..homeschoolers sometimes try to educate their children by placing stuff on their fridge. I tried this tactic years ago. Obviously, my children would not play and then we soon forgot that all these words were there) I do see one placement of words that says "gone to dream".
Who knew?
Most of these letters, however, cannot be seen because our refrigerator is covered in pictures. We have pictures of our children, neices, nephews and friends. I don't know who puts these pictures up..but they are all over! We do have written (in huge magnetic letters) "The Beast." I'm assuming that is Cody or Mason who like to say the "beast" in soccer...oh...and we have a small magnetic "Bill of Rights" that Michael seemed to think we needed to complete our incomplete education. My favorite, however, would be the home-made magnetic guitar pics that seem to complete the decor.
Somehow, we open these doors daily without things falling off. We must have "magnetic personalities" or something.
Okay..now for the frightening part. Let us see...
Top shelf: 1 half drank bottle of Hot Damn, several containers of yogurt, pre-made pie crusts (because we are still doing a lot of bulk cooking), chocolate from Oaxaca..for home-made hot chocolate and jalepenos.
Shelf 2: A bit scarier..left-over steamed carrots, pinto beans and random condiments
Shelf 3: eggs, eggs and more eggs..and leftover quiche, leftover ravioli's. Note to self: Please clean out this fridge!
Shelf 4: Milk, juice, pancake mix and a box of wine
Drawers? Hey..I think we might be getting healthier here. We have..watermellon, pineapple, eggplant, chives, cabbage and lettuce.
Next drawer...ugh..more left-overs. Steak. Ick!..and cream cheese? Good grief.
Door pockets? Very random..sauces (picante, soy, worstershire, etc.) dressings, wine and more pancake mix. Well..that was weird.
Okay. How about others? Do you dare? What is in your fridge. Feel assured, that it will not be more unorganized or unhealthy than ours.