Sunday, July 22, 2012

I'm back???

I'm reclaiming my place in the land of the living.

 Because honestly? I had fallen into a deep, dark emotional abyss. It sort of snuck up on me. I found myself making a series of mistakes...some not so bad..and then some real doozies. And I found myself the heck did I get here? I became completely emotionally absent to all the people who I care about. I was in self-preservation mode..and it was not pretty.

I spent some time in therapy, reading, journaling..doing a LOT of self reflection. I pulled a lot of weeds, journaled, obsessed with the life of  Audrey in read over 5 biographies, etc...I pulled more weeds, journaled,  I watched endless reruns of the old Battlestar Gallatica..I pulled more weeds...and then? Well, I got bored with all of that introspection..(yes..i have a short attention span) .and I have slowly been reclaiming a stronger, more authentic version of myself.

I had to admit that in the realm of bad ideas..running day-care out of the house was one of the biggest bad ideas I have ever had. NOT  a reflection on the kids or their families. Just a bad fit for my overall temperament. I have come to realize that I have a high need for risk-taking, adventure and affection (to have and to give) and that if I don't utilize these needs in a positive way..well...disaster strikes!

And as much as I enjoyed the exploding diaper band..i was going stir crazy.

So..I have returned to working with at-risk youth. I am now working for a Teen Center in S.A...and I  LOVE it! I was accepted to graduate school at O.L.L.U. but am delaying my entrance until Spring due to financial and time constraints.  I continue volunteering at the prison...and am slowly reengaging in living and celebrating the lives of my family and friends.

I am slowly joining the land of the living

..and by the way? I have no idea why some of this is highlighted in white.

1 comment:

Christy said...

I am so glad that you have had your time to decide what you need and how to go about getting it in a positive way. Much love to you!