Midlife musings

It is Monday night..and I am in shock that I am still awake. Why? Because I am getting older. I work outside and we are in a heat-wave/drought here in the Tx. Hill Country.

Meaning? I have been going to bed around 8pm (no joke!) and I'm amazed at the things that my mind thinks I can do and my body says "hey..what are you thinking!!". This constant fatigue and soreness has led me to dwell on what it means to be aging..and mid-life transitions.

I look at how my friends and family cope with mid-life transitions. Some change careers, some have affairs. Okay. Just one that I know of. Brian has purchased a Corvette and found a chicken fettish. My friends Carol and Susan have just received tatoos. (Cool ones I might add). I wonder, what does this part of my life bring? I have no desire for a tatoo. I don't like pain. Cars do not interest me. An affair? Nope. Chickens? Nope. I really don't feel the need to change anything.

At first I think this apathy is because I just don't have time to dwell on this much. Even now, as I type, our dog Shadow is barking at me because it is past her bed-time. Shadow thinks I need to go to bed so she can sleep. I have disrupted her universe. Austen keeps asking me to listen to a bass drum that is beating loudly outside our house. Mason wanders through with laundry..and I hear David Letterman commentaries coming from the living room. Who has time to ponder mid-life? I can't even remember what I am typing! Oh geez, apparently my memory is going too.

I know that lack of time is not a just reason for mid-life apathy. All of my friends and family are busy.I realize that it is not that I am not concerned about where my life has been, or where it is going. I am content. I realize today..that I am content because...well...I never grew up!

I mean this almost seriously. Yes, my understanding of life, relationships, spirituality, etc. are much different now than when I was a child. Hopefully, more mature. But if you look at what I do on an actual day. Nothing has changed from when I was 9!

..and that is the honest truth.

Let's take today. I start with pretend Yoga. It's not real yoga because I learned it out of a book, but it helps me stretch, breathe and feel better. This is just like when I "learned karate" out of a book when I was 9.

I head to work at the Boys and Girls Club to skateboard. I skateboard with one of my mentoring kids on Monday a.m.'s because that is the only time she talks to me. From skateboarding I go to drama,wherewe play games. See. yoga, skateboard, games. Are we beginning to see a pattern here? It's still just like when I was 9.

After games I teach tennis. I eat lunch and then walk to the pool and back 3 times with Club kids.

I come back in time to read. I read aloud to the kids. Today we read Aladdin, Two Friends and Sponge Bob.

Do you realize I just got paid to spend the day like a 9 year old? I go to visit some friends. (So yes..I am still playing)..and pick up ice-cream on the way home. I am planning to heat up left-overs for dinner when Brian sees me with the bag of ice-cream and grins.

Are we having ice-cream for dinner?!

Brian and the boys seemed quite pleased with this arrangement. I don't have the heart to say

No, left-overs it is.

Instead I hear myself saying Of course! As we pass out pint of ice-cream and spoons.

We finish our ice-cream dinner just in time to see Elliott's Cutco Knife Demo. I like the knives they are sharp and you can toss tomato's in the air and watch them slice. We buy a sandwich spreader.

I realize that buying the sandwich spreader was the only adult-like thing I have done today. The rest of my day was spent doing pretend yoga, skateboarding, playing games, playing tennis, walking, swimming, reading, visiting friends, eating ice-cream for dinner and playing with knives. Apparently, this Peter Pan Syndrome of mine IS my mid-life crisis.

It sure is fun!