Pool Rules

It is mid-September. Every morning we get hints of Fall. I awake at 6ish and open windows throughout the house.

  Big B and I sit on our back deck and quietly sip our coffee while watching cardinals (who knew we had cardinals around here?) and one brownish bird as they enjoy the birdhouse buffet.  We have given all the birds names.

Look, Big B will say. There is Red Bird (see how original we are). Where is..oh..there is Spare Parts. I didn't see him.

We sometimes make up imaginary stories as to what our bird friends are doing.

We continue to feed the deer. Big B has befriended the deer. As he goes out to feed the chickens, they start to peer out of the brush.  

Go to the back, he will tell them....and they DO.

Very loudly I might add. We feed the deer left-overs and several loaves of bread every morning.

Big B and I then return to our coffee, watching the wild-life and enjoying the breeze. Yes there is a nice breeze in the morning. And? the leaves  are falling. I still have not been able to figure out what trees have leaves...but leaves are falling. I become hopeful that we will have fall weather soon.

But by 11 a.m..the temperatures are back in the high 90's early 100's.

The Rancho Rugrat kids and I swim. A LOT. Because, swimming breaks up our day and makes it bearable to go outside in the later afternoons.

You see..we like to be outside. But by 9:30 (after playing outside and venturing on our daily nature walk..recently turned Star Wars adventure) we are back inside.

Miss Applesauce Pants (that's me) and the Exploding Diaper Band (see previous posts) have band practice. Blue Monkey and Bug LIKE to practice every single day.  The rest of us oblige.

Then we all return to the business of playing. But sometimes..in the words of Blue Monkey playing is HARD work.

And hard work, is exhausting.

So after lunch, the exploding diaper dancers and rhythm section take naps.

Blue Monkey, Black Rat and Miss Applesauce Pants usually read,  write..and play games, while the band rests. But by 2ish, everyone becomes whiny.

So to solve this whinyness dilemma, the band swims as soon as the dancers/percussionists wake up.

And THAT is how Miss Applesauce and the Exploding Diaper Band acquired their pool rules.

Blue Monkey felt that Miss Applesauce Pants and her son Austen were not adequate lifeguards. But not to worry..he assured everyone, I'm a lifeguard..really.Right Black Rat? 

Black Rat usually reminds him he shouldn't lie. Blue Monkey is nonplussed. Oh..she doesn't know, he assures us.

 Blue Monkey stations himself by the ladder of our above ground circular 4 foot deep pool. He keeps his floatie with him. This is very important..because,you know..he can't BREATHE under water! Blue Monkey then  orchestrates everyone's play and doles out rules.

So now you have them..Pool Rules by Blue Monkey.


1. Everyone must wear clothes.(No naked diaper band allowed).

2.  The radio should be on JACK FM because we know those songs.

3. ALL pool toys MUST BE IN THE POOL.

4. All bath toys MUST BE IN THE POOL.

5. Babies should be placed in the floating cooler so they can be pulled by Miss Applesauce Pants.

6. Once Miss Applesauce is pulling the babies in the cooler..everyone should float in their tube and attach to the cooler turned tug-boat...like a conga line.

7. Miss Applesauce can pull the train of tubes fast (And the lifeguard will be at the end to watch) so we can make a whirl pool.

8. Once the whirl pool has settled everyone must look for the diving toys..specifically the shark, the clam and..possibly the Lost City of Atlantis.

9. When everyone dries off and changes clothes. Miss Applesauce should just not bother changing. She can just stay wet..or throw clothes on over her swimsuit..because the band is too busy to wait for her!

10. When the band eats their popsicles on the deck..the exploding diaper band should still wear clothes. (See no naked diaper band rule Number 1)

So for all my West Coast friends..who don't know if their kids have school or not due to TEA strike?

Just see what you could be doing? You could trade in those school rules for pool rules.

Just sayin'!