A life well lived

It appears I am, in the words of my son, a "holiday blogger". Looking over this blog, it appears he is right. How do people find the time? (I know..they make it) It has been a busy month. A close friend of mine died a few weeks ago. Her 17 year old son called me on a Tuesday morning. He was understandably upset and informed me that his mother would die in a few hours. She did. We have spent most of this holiday season with this family. In my grieving, I have been thinking about life..and living. My friend led a very full life. It was a life, "well lived". She touched the lives of many around her. Both she and her husband have made an effort to cultivate the relationships of family and friends. This was apparent during the hours of her death and weeks after. I also have been thinking about what defines "success". My friends husband has been working as a civil service worker for their entire marriage. (20 years?) Over this past year, as her medical expenses mounted, he took a second job waiting tables for a Luby's. He helped his children prepare for the death of their mother. He supported her emotionally until she took her last breath. He is openly grieving in front of his family and friends, and not afraid to say, "this is hard." I hope I can be this kind of person. I hope my children will grow up to be this type of person. A person who says, life can be hard. I will take what is dealt to me. I will do whatever needs to be done. I will do so humbly. (Is that really a word?) I will live life fully, the good and the bad. I will not be afraid to embrace either.

Unschooling

I have been reading and hearing a slew of comments over the past 24 hours on homeschooling/unschooling. I thought I would take a few minutes to sort this out here. First of all, if I had to say what type of home educator we are I usually say we are "very relaxed" or that we are "learning (not educating) at home". However, we are deffinately considered unschoolers by many. I asked my son (Brian) yesterday if he felt having such freedom had harmed him in any way now that he is in college. He answered honestly that he hadn't even thought about it. He is happy, making good grades, landing research opportunities. I think he has "survived" our desire to let him choose his own path. I truly feel, if I had to do it again, I would have much LESS structure for all of our boys until they were at least 12. I think of how I often fluctuated between required instructional learning (usually lasts about a month each fall and summer) and total freedom. I spent hours worrying...and they are fine. I do feel at this point, tutoring the younger boys (12 and 13) an hour a day (mixed with volunteerism of their choice and an hour or two of plain old hard labor) is good for all of us at this time. We are surrounded by good books, lots of nature (river, hills, trees..and all the creatures that come with it), lots of games, people that provide good conversation and humor. I can't help but wonder how you can really go wrong with that? Okay. Technical stuff. Brian and friends posted on their blog last night...and nothing is showing on their page. I posted yesterday..and unless I go through my dashboard, nothing has published on my blog either. I am wondering how to make tags.....I really need to spend some time figuring all this out. But first? Breakfast with Cody. He is about to spend a few hours filling holes with gravel for a local neighborhood contractor. (making Christmas spending money). Want to visit with him a little before he leaves to work.

November Update

Wow. It's been almost a month since I was last here already. Somehow, this is more like I envisioned blogging at the beginning. It has been busy around here. Nothing huge, or major. Just the day-to-day learning on top of extra hours at work, soccer games, extra OM practices, etc. At the Club we ran our Career Launch program for every senior at the local highschool last week, completed our basketball league registration and had our annual Harvest Fest. (fundraiser/multi-cultural day of fun). This past week, we just opened for two days..and now all of a sudden we have 5 days off in a row! The kids have pretty much moved into the Club. They have taken over the snack preparing in the midst of all craziness. We have been averaging a little over 100 kids a day this month. That is a lot of snack preparing. Colt is keeping a guitar at the Club to practice on and a few good books. Austen is reading for hours a day there...and then falling asleep on the couch until we wake him up to get ready for kids getting off the bus. We are ALL ready for this little breather. Except for one week (when I was at the highschool) we have managed to still keep the mornings to ourselves. I really treasure this time together. We have spent most of this time reading together, discussing upcoming legislation (I.E...Leo's HB 28 and 29) Quite frightening! Which has oppened up lots of discussion on racism, oppression, constitutional rights..and the ethics of breaking unjust laws. Other than we have done a 5 minute math speed test daily and Spelling Power. Cody continues to write letters for aid to Darfur, Austen and friends raised enough money to adopt 2 baby and 1 moma gorilla. We spent one weekend up at TAMS with Brian, listening to presentations on various summer research projects, drinking boba tea, wandering around Fry street and finally getting to put faces and personalities together with the names of TAMS friends he mentions so frequently:) I had planned to watch Dr. Phil today (something I have never had the desire to do) since he was having an episode on homeschooling/unschooling/public schooling. However, after reading several posts on how he is handling this have chosen not too. Instead we are taking Brian (who is home for Thanksgiving) shopping for pants. Outgrew all the ones we bought him last month...and..we will set up our Christmas tree! Okay. Enough rambling. Time to wake up these shaggy boys and enjoy our day.

Halloween is here!

I think this is one of the favorite holidays for my kids! We had a festival at our church on Sunday. Cody worked one of the booths, I worked in concessions and Austen ran around in his "army man" costume. At the end of the night, he jumped off of a jungle gym and sprained his foot. BUT..today is the real day. The boys and I are making about 100 cupcakes this morning and cutting out 100 sets of eyes and mouths out of magazines for different booths at the Club. Then we need to spend about 30 minutes vacuuming, etc. around here. We are having a "make your own pizza" party with about 3 other families late this evening. We are spending the rest of the day at the Club setting up for this afternoon's festival. Austen is still an "army man", Cody says he is going to be a "muscle man" (he is drawing muscles all over himself). As staff at the Club we were going to be "Snap" "Crackle" and "Pop"....but as of last night I think it was changed to being "Club kids". I have no idea how to dress like a "Club kid". Maybe I'll throw on a KIDSKLUB t-shirt and a baseball cap or something.

Weekly rhythm

We finally took the time to really look at where our time was going, and created a "weekly rhythm" that was much more realistic than what I thought we were doing. I just needed to see it out there to see if we had any consistency going in what we do (or do not) do. That and...we are subleasing a horse and Austen "hanging out at the barn" more and more. He is learning some awesome stuff..homeopathic horse care, equine massage therapy, how to train, etc...but it is time consuming. He is really motivated suddenly to "do school work" every morning so he can see the horse/horses before going to work with me in the afternoons. So...we have suddenly fallen into a pattern. Who knew? So...essentially..I am spending an hour a day every morning with Austen.We are primarily working on spelling, math and reading out loud. We wake up Cody, eat breakfast,clean a little, all read together for 30 minutes...and then I take Austen to "the barn". This gives Cody and I an hour or two together. We are primarily continuing his "Never Again" unit, reading sermons of Msg. Knox together and reviewing spelling, grammar and math. He then spends time drawing, sorting coins or taking care of his worms (he is starting a super-worm busines He is raising and hoping to sell these worms to garbage sites in various cities) We'll see how it goes. Cody is going to work with me Monday, Wednesdays and Fridays..he stays home and walks to soccer practice Tuesdays and Thursdays. Austen is coming to work with me everyday except Wednesday..when he hangs out with a friend and then goes to a musical rehearsal. On a different note. Brian-Scott came home from school this weekend. He leaves this weekend, but it has been nice to have him home for a day. He really seems to enjoy dorm life anyway. We spent last night searching for his hockey stick. He is taking roller blades and hockey stick back with him. I sure hope he is studying somewhere in here...

Weekly rhythm

We finally took the time to really look at where our time was going, and created a "weekly rhythm" that was much more realistic than what I thought we were doing. I just needed to see it out there to see if we had any consistency going in what we do (or do not) do. That and...we are subleasing a horse and Austen "hanging out at the barn" more and more. He is learning some awesome stuff..homeopathic horse care, equine massage therapy, how to train, etc...but it is time consuming. He is really motivated suddenly to "do school work" every morning so he can see the horse/horses before going to work with me in the afternoons. So...we have suddenly fallen into a pattern. Who knew? So...essentially..I am spending an hour a day every morning with Austen.We are primarily working on spelling, math and reading out loud. We wake up Cody, eat breakfast,clean a little, all read together for 30 minutes...and then I take Austen to "the barn". This gives Cody and I an hour or two together. We are primarily continuing his "Never Again" unit, reading sermons of Msg. Knox together and reviewing spelling, grammar and math. He then spends time drawing, sorting coins or taking care of his worms (he is starting a super-worm busines He is raising and hoping to sell these worms to garbage sites in various cities) We'll see how it goes. Cody is going to work with me Monday, Wednesdays and Fridays..he stays home and walks to soccer practice Tuesdays and Thursdays. Austen is coming to work with me everyday except Wednesday..when he hangs out with a friend and then goes to a musical rehearsal. On a different note. Brian-Scott came home from school this weekend. He leaves this weekend, but it has been nice to have him home for a day. He really seems to enjoy dorm life anyway. We spent last night searching for his hockey stick. He is taking roller blades and hockey stick back with him. I sure hope he is studying somewhere in here...

sick

The inevitable has happened again. This past 2 weeks has been filled with doctors appointments for Austen and my mother. The boys have managed to read for a couple hours a day, and Cody has continued working at the Club and going to Friday School. Austen..well, reads, sleeps, reads, sleeps ...and finally this week felt good enough to return to cooking snacks for zillions of children a day on aproximately $20 for the week. (that really is a gift in and of itself, ya' know). However, Cody is starting to get nervous about his curriculum..and rightfully so. Hoping that on Monday we can return to some more structured work a few days a week. But the truth be known..Cody will be in San Antonio for a few days participating and filming/editing a "die-in" to promote Darfur awareness. So I'm not sure just how much seat work he is going to realistically accomplish. Brian(my husband..not my son) is deep sea fishing this weekend. He has been planning this trip with some of his co-workers for a couple of months....leaving me and the boys to ourselves for the weekend. It is a welcome break, really. We all went camping with our church last weekend, and I still haven't caught up on laundry, etc. from then. The boys and I plan to go to Cody's soccer game this morning and have a "t.v. watching, laundry doing, cleaning during commercials" marathon today. It should give us all a day to be lazy, take care of some needed cleaning stuff, and give Austen's body a chance to really rest.

returning to "normal" life

This is much more realistic. I knew posting every day wouldn't last long. Last week Cody and I went to Colorado Springs for a Youth Development Conference. I had hesitated about bringing him with me, but was encouraged by my co-workers to do so. I am so glad I did! He is growing into such a fun-loving, mature young man...and it's been happening right before my eyes! We went to a lot of workshops together, had lots of deep discussions, played a lot of tennis, swam a lot and played in the Garden of the Gods. It was a nice conference, and we have both come back with a better understanding of how deeply we do impact others(for good or bad) through our work at the Club. Austen did spend the week with my parents. He did some house repair for them, read and practiced instruments, my mom kept up with his spelling..and they spent a lot of time shopping and going to movies. He went to Port Aransas over the weekend with some friends of the family. Brian came home late Friday night. He spent the day at home with us (one of his friends came over for a few hours on Saturday) and then we stopped to have lunch with another friend of his before putting him back on a bus to return to school. He seems to be loving dorm life..and I think his classes are going well. Time will tell.......Now that we are back to a sort-of normal life. (like we aren't all spread over 3 cities/2 states) we are trying to get back into a routine of reading together, playing games, etc. We took another huge diversion yesterday to start making about 200 confetti eggs. We are trying to plan a farewell party for one of my co-workers. The kids at the Club want confetti eggs for part of this "good, good-bye". So...Cody, Austen and I spent yesterday making omelette's galore for snack at the Club and then dumping another dozen or two egg yolks into the river behind our house. We thought it would be fun to observe what changes it brings to the immediate ecosystem in the next week. (other than more fish, flies, ants and racoons). Today we will dye, fill and cover all the eggs. That will be the bulk of our morning.

Not getting very far...

It seems I was WAY overambitious in my cooking endeavors yesterday. You know, some people are born cooks. They can do this type of thing without blinking an eye. I am not one of those people..good grief, I don't even like to cook. It's about pure survival around here. Still..we did manage to prepare some chicken alfredo and meatloafs today. Austen woke up sick, so he slept in the van during Cody's guitar lesson..and watched cartoons and messed around on the computer this morning. He is coming to the Club with us..but I asked him to stay in the teen room and sleep until they had drama at 6. He plans to do this. Brian (my husband) is planning to pick him up at the Club as soon as he gets off of work....probably during drama. Austen wants to ditch OM this year. He agreed to be in a musical in Kerville..so as of this morning, he will not be doing OM. Luckily, that team is still forming..so no damage done to the rest of the team. Cody's team actually picked their long-term problem yesterday. That team spent the entire meeting singing "Little Bunny Foo, Foo"...yet they managed to make some decisions, and develop a game-plan as to how they are going to attack their problem. Well, work awaits. We have a "point store" today. Where all the kids that attend tutoring can "cash in" the "bucks" they have earned over the past 6 weeks. Cody has agreed to help with the point store this afternoon. He said he would keep popping in and checking in on Austen while I take a group of kids for swim lessons. So...we are off. I did make all the stuff for cabbage rolls this morning..hopefully I will actually get them assembled this evening......

Cook, Cook, Cook..and I'm a liar

Okay. I said once a week..and here I am. I also said we would do what I planned. I lied. So..we start the day off reading the Yearling. Then we play some Lois Armstrong CD's and begin cooking. So far today we have prepared enchiladas, apricot pork chops, spicy peanut chicken, chicken-broccoli divan..and we threw garlic chicken in the crock-pot for tonight..to actually eat. The boys decided that cooking, playing with the puppy..and playing with gyroscopes and boxes were much more entertaining than vocabulary or spelling. Yes..we did wash hands a lot. We stopped cooking and put things away at noon to watch the news. We had read an AP wire on the arrest of a town of immigrants in Georgia. It sounds like the gastapo all over again. Yet, there has been nothing on any of the local news. This led to discussion on discrimination, media control, etc. Now we are all messing around in our own rooms...okay..the boys are in their rooms..I am in the morning room/laundry room/school room/office. Cody is trying to figure out how to make a clam pump. Austen is trying to "write a book"..about some phantom penguin. We have a little bit of down time before going to the Club. We hope to prepare meatloaf and cabbage rolls tonight. We'll see...

A first attempt

Okay, this is one more feeble attempt for me to enter the world of information overload. I have been adviced by many to keep track of our lives. Who, I think, would care about our lives? Yet, as I find myself reading the numerous blogs of others on various quests ..I think well, maybe, just maybe, we may glimmer some insight through this thing called day-to day life for someone else. Maybe someone will think, "that is really cool"! Or maybe someone will think, "that is horrible!" OR...maybe they will think, "Man..what a waste of a blog!" Okay..so with this horrible intro..let me tell you who we are. We are a very relaxed homeschooling family of 3 boys..hence the shaggy boys title. Actually, since oldest son Brian, age 16, has gone off to college..we have 2 at home now. Still at home are Cody, age 13 and Austen, age 12. Cody is a rambunctious, over-analyzing, soccer playing very intense, young teenager. Austen is a lively, friendly, outgoing boy who has epilepsy, asthma, capd..and every dys(lexia, calcula, graphia...)imaginable. Austen has taught us to question, and requestion everything we ever believed about life and learning. My plan is to post at least once a week about what we are (or are not) doing. So, that said. This week is insane. My mother lives in a town about an hour away. She is going in for a surgery and several weeks of radiation starting Friday. The boys and I planning to do our "once a month cooking" today. We started yesterday..So most of this morning will be spent cooking. We will read Chapter 5 of the Yearling together over a couple bowls of cereal. I will work with Austen on Spelling Power and some Montessori math, while Cody works on some English and Vocabulary. I will work with Cody on some Montessorri math while Austen practices his trumpet and piano. Then we will cook, cook, cook. I don't have to work until 1:30 today (I am a program director for a local Boys and Girls Club). The boys will come to work with me. Austen will prepare snacks for some 50+ kids, Cody will help me tutor some 50+ kids. The boys will participate in Odyssey of the Mind and an art class..then play, until their dad picks them up. They will finish cooking dinner while I finish working. In the evening..we will eat dinner, watch t.v., and go to bed. See? Unexciting, isn't it? Okay...I feel very brave telling you what we "will" do. But..we are pretty unoriginal in having diversions to our days...so I can tell you this with confidence. Now if I can just find our puppy to get these boys out of bed!